Mark McLaughlin

Message from Mark:

“To my friends, family, students and those who played for me: If you are reading this, then it must mean that I have moved on and it’s time for me to say goodbye. It has been a great ride and each and every one of you have contributed to my life being very rich and rewarding. I have a lifetime of memories and smiles spent with you in the classroom, the driver ed car, the gym, the practice and playing field and just about any place we gathered. We had more laughs and successes than we did tears and failures. I have been truly blessed with the best family, the best friends, the best colleagues, and the best students and athletes to ever enter a high school doorway or to step onto a playing field. I grew up with the best, played with the best, and tried to pass on my best to those interested. Thanks for allowing me to be part of your life. I hope that I was as big a part in your life as you were in mine! I hope I was a good son, brother, uncle, and a good brother in law. By the time you read this, Gene(dad), Mackie, Bucky and I will have gone for a walk and Grandpa and Mamie and I will be loading up for a trip. So don’t cry because I am gone, but smile for the times we shared. For those who have been caught off guard by this news, I chose to keep my “condition” very private. I never wanted to be the topic of discussion, I never wanted any one to feel bad for me. My message to you has always been to be upbeat, positive and encouraging. Why change now? Remember the great experiences we shared and the level of success we attained. In remembrance of me, please consider donating blood as often as you can. It will mean more to me than you will ever know, and perhaps even more to the people you don’t know.”

Tributes & Testimonials to Mark

Mac,

On my first day of high school I felt like a freak. I was the new meat, I didn’t know where I was going, and my summer hadn’t been exactly spectacular either. I looked on at the year ahead in dread, but luckily I met a man who changed all of that.

Like every other freshmen that day, I was running around the school like a chicken with its head cut off in search of my destination. A few moments before the bell rang I stumbled into my class and quickly dove into a seat next to my friends. We were all looking around the room for a hint of what we would be dealing with. We were in Health class, which is a pretty broad genre. From the exercise mats on top of the shelves to the posters plastered on the walls about the various ailments to our bodies, everyone was a bit confused; was this a low maintenance gym class or another snore and bore overhead notes kind of deal? We didn’t have time to concoct any more ideas because our teacher had just put down his Hershey’s coffee mug and got up from his chair to address and conduct the class.

The first thing we learned was that we were to call him Mac; the second was that he was crazy. The second one we learned from observation, not verbal explanation. Mac is a very dramatic person. I was surprised that he chose to pursue a teaching career instead of becoming an actor. There was never a dull moment during his lectures, one minute he’d be speaking in a normal tone and the next he would be screaming at the top of his lungs to get the point across. He always mixed in a couple of jokes and a few entertaining personal stories that had even the most cynical student in the class erupting in laughter. Needless to say he quickly became a favorite among all of us. He also gave us suckers every Friday, so that helped a bit too.

Mac was a funny guy, but he could be serious too, that was how he won our hearts. He understood us, all of us. No matter how trivial, or stupid, or absolutely pointless our problems may have seemed to be, Mac always cared and he always understood. He got the not so trivial stuff too, the things we were afraid of and couldn’t handle alone. Every day I saw someone sitting in Mac’s room on one of the comfy chairs by his desk choosing him over the guidance office, I soon became one of them.

I had experienced a tough summer. During February in 8th grade I had started going on anti-depressants and was seeing a shrink; I absolutely hated it and I was beginning to hate life too. That summer I got really messed up. I had been on at least five different medications with horrible reactions to each one. I would go weeks without eating, I was paranoid, shaky, unstable, and most of all scared, I didn’t know who I was anymore. Things kept on getting progressively worse, I would pass out in the middle of my bedroom floor and I started to have major mood swings, it was around then the idea of suicide started to creep into my mind.

Thankfully I never followed through with it, this is partially because of my best friend Kris and partially because of Mac. I would just walk into his coffee smelling room and we would talk. Words can’t really explain why Mac was so easy to talk to or why he was so helpful. It was just this feeling you got around him, one of complete comfort and safety. I didn’t talk to Mac about everything, but just knowing that there was someone there was enough.

Mac changed my life; he changed everyone’s life. I firmly believe that there is at least a small piece inside of everyone who has ever met Mac that is better because of him.

Sadly, Mac retired at the end of last year, needless to say there were many tears from many people. I miss him terribly, not because the hallway by his old room doesn’t smell like coffee anymore, and not because I miss coming into his room with my friends to mooch off a few suckers, but because he is the greatest man I have ever known and I miss seeing his smile every morning by the front doors.

-- Anonymous

The first time I saw coach Mac was in Texas, the summer of 2009. I was there playing for the East in an all star game. During the championship game of the league I had a difficult time paying attention to the game on the field. It was much more intriguing to watch this coach on the sidelines. I thought to myself, that looks like an interesting man. So passionate, so animated and I could tell by the way the players responded to him that he was highly regarded.

I met Coach Mac in the summer of 2010. I was lucky enough to have been chosen to play on the national team. What a pleasant surprise it was to see this interesting man that I had seen the summer before standing in the meeting room. As luck would have it, he became my d-back coach for the games. I came to the team thinking that I would play corner, as I had on my home team, but as I realized there were better girls for that position than me, I began to become discouraged. I took Mac aside and asked him what I needed to do to get on the field. He told me he could see my determination and thought I should be on the field, so in four days, he turned me into a safety. He taught me more about football in those four days than I had learned in 5 years. I will be forever grateful for the time he gave to me because I am sure that had it not been for him, I would not have had the wonderful experience that I did on Team USA.

At the airport, when it was time to depart, we all made promises to each other to stay in touch, at least the ones we became close to. I had a very hard time saying goodbye to several girls. The hardest was saying goodbye to Mac. I made a vow to myself that I would stay in touch with this man whom I felt this instant bond with. Sometimes you just meet people like that.

We corresponded by email and cards for two years. Mac also continued to send out a letter a week during football season to the 2010 Team USA players. He did this because he thought it was important to maintain a bond with each other because it was such a memorable experience. To date, it was the best experience of my life. I know my team USA sisters appreciated the time he took to do this, the wisdom and confidence he instilled to us week to week, and the life lessons he reminded us of.

I was able to see Mac 3 times in the summer of 2012. He surprised me by coming out to my last football game, and spent some time with my family. In July, he was the coach of the West team in Austin and I played on the East. The following weekend we had a team USA reunion in Pittsburgh. It was if time hadn’t passed. He told me more than once in Texas and in Pittsburgh that he had a secret to share with me. If you have ever been around Mac when there are ball players around, you know there is not much time to talk alone. Everyone wants a piece of his time, and he was more than willing to oblige. When it came time to say goodbye in Pittsburgh, I knew it would be emotional, I just wasn’t prepared for how emotional it would really be. Mac shared his secret with me.

From that point on I knew I wanted to spend as much time getting to know him as he had left. He had trusted me enough to confide in me and not share what I knew. This was an honor, but a difficult one. I knew there would probably be some people in the football world who would be upset with me. If Mac meant half as much to them as he did to me, I am sure they would have liked to tell him how much he meant to them, to tell him goodbye.

I visited Mac several times during the fall of that year. My first visit to his house was interesting to say the least. The walls were covered with sports memorabilia. Everything had a remote. Every room had a phone. Every room. However, there was a hint of softness in a masculine manner. Lots of candles...and flowers, plastic. The finest collection of plastic flowers in Dane County. Often times when we would talk on the phone he would tell me the candles were lit. I would picture him on his couch, watching his Badgers, everything within arm’s reach.

What struck me most about Macs decorating flair was not the sports memorabilia of the Badgers and the Packers and Notre Dame, but the keepsakes of his former students and athletes that filled his walls. I knew what a great coach Mac had been to me, but to see what an impact he made on these kids was awe inspiring. Amongst the photos and keepsakes were cards and letters from kids telling Mac what a difference he made in their lives. In several cases, how he saved them. I hope to one day get to look through the boxes of the stuff that didn’t fit on the walls and learn even more about Mac and the inspiration and influence that he had on so many.

Mac was supposed to go to Finland this past summer. He was to coach Team USA 2013. My heart broke for him when he had to make the phone call that he could not go. It still does. However I think that my heart breaks just as much for the women playing who didn’t get the chance to know Mac, to be coached by him, to be believed in by him. As heart-broken as I am that he had to leave us too soon, I need to remember that he gave me a gift. He taught me to believe in myself. He taught me of the 3 T’s, time talk and trust. He allowed me to be a part of his life. I know that I am a better person for having known him. It was his philosophy. Leave something better than you found it.

Mission accomplished.

Mornings won’t be the same without my morning texts, “Good morning Manchester. Make today a great day.” I will strive to do just that.

I will miss you every day!

Jen Pirog (AKA Alamo)

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Dear Mr. Mac,

I just wanted to take some time to thank you for all you have done. You’ve put so much towards this school and most importantly the students. You being a teacher gave us the chance to learn so much about life. As this quarter progressed, I realized how much you truly cared for us. A big blessing was that you were able to talk to us about anything. You put us first and that means so much more than you know. I know I didn’t know you as long as the other students, but I will miss you so much. This school can be a hard place to attend but having you here made it better. After retiring, I hope you have an awesome life and that you can continue to come see us. Even though you’re leaving that in no way means any of us will forget you. You have put so much into our lives and I can only hope that we have done the same. I love you very much. No teacher will ever compare to you!

Love,

Anonymous

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Dear Mac,

I just wanted to say thank you. You made me wake up and smell the roses. You helped me realize all the open doors there are for me to walk through for my future. Yeah my parents taught me very good life lessons, but you Mac gave me a different perspective. You helped me in ways you couldn’t imagine. For all the times you have helped me, you lifted the stress off my shoulders which seemed like the world. You helped us up when we couldn’t reach. And most importantly you have us faith. We are where we are today because you cared. Because of you Mac, you have saved many lives of people. Someday, I want to be just like you. So thanks again, you gave us wings to fly, you are our inspiration.

There is one thing in particular that I want to thank you for. You taught us to think of the consequences/outcomes of something. It was like I had a little Mac in my head. Voice and all, asking me if this was right or appropriate. So you helped me in many situations! Thanks for being my role model and keeping me out of trouble.

Good luck with your retirement and continue living life to the fullest! You’re the best!

Love,

Amy (Grade 9)

Thanks for being our voices when we couldn’t speak.

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Mac,

You have done so much for me in the past two years. You have no idea how much you have helped me. This school won’t be the same without you – I won’t be the same without you. I can’t even begin how much you changed my life. I was going down the tubes and you pulled me back up. Every time I needed someone you were there to help me regardless of what it was. You saved my life and I can honestly say I don’t think I would be here without you.

I know it’s hard for you to be leaving, but you have changed many lives while you have been here.

When I think about leaving – I don’t know about what I’ll be missing but what I’ll be doing instead and I am really excited. You should be too. We are both starting over and we can do what we have always wanted to do, but haven’t had the chance – or too afraid to.

Mr. Mac – You have changed my life in so many ways I can’t express how grateful I am for that.

Please keep in touch with me while I’m gone. I will never forget all that you have done from me. Thank you.

All my love,

Mac Junior

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Our Teacher

We first met Mr. McLaughlin in health, Driver’s Ed, or Phys. Ed. But it was outside of the four classroom walls where Mr. McLaughlin (Mac) did his best teaching. Mac had the ability to connect to people and transform their lives. He made you believe in yourself before you saw your own possibilities. His positivity, leading by example, integrity, and giving of his time were simply the best! He offered guidance, the most comforting hugs, and never filtered his Irish honesty.

He taught us the best 3 life lessons - the 3T’s: Time, Talk and Trust. Mac’s gave of his TIME unselfishly, whether it was time in the classroom, running the halls, stopping by to visit, or just catching up on the phone. TALK: wow, could Mac talk but the best part about him being a great talker was that he was an even better listener! TRUST: anything said, shared, or revealed to Mac was never shared. I have had the privilege to call Mac a friend for more than 3 decades.

Thank you our teacher and our friend. Your teachings have transformed our lives and you will forever be paid forward! Love and Hugs!

Renee Bailey

McFarland High School Class of 1988

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Letter submitted to:

Mr. George Fuller (McFarland High School Principal)

Mr. Patrick Kennedy (McFarland School District Administrator)

RE: Mr. Mark McLaughlin and Mr. Gary Osman

I am writing to you for the reason of letting you know of two people on your staff that helped change my life for the better & to graduate from McFarland High School.

First of all I must let you know the story of how they entered my life.

One Sunday morning I was in my room listening to my stereo and heard a truck pull up. Thinking nothing of it-I proceeded to put tapes away when I heard a voice say, “You want to talk about it?” I turned around and saw Mr. McLaughlin and Mr. Osman standing in my bedroom! This shocked me and I immediately tried to disregard them, but after going into the living room with my parents we talked for more than an hour.

We talked about my using drugs and how it affected my family and school life. Both Mr. McLaughlin and Mr. Osman suggested a drug assessment.

At this time, I was really embarrassed, mad, and nervous at the same time, but somehow these guys le me know that I was an all right guy and I needed help.

So after the assessment (which proved that I needed treatment) and also that I needed to continue to talk to Mr. McLaughlin and Mr. Osman. The two of them were no longer just unfamiliar teachers anymore, but a help to me, and they gave me support.

After a week in the hospital and more assessments, I was told that I was an alcoholic and a drug abuser. I would need more treatment.

Now out of the hospital I could go to school, but I would also spend 3 hours each weeknight in “New Start Rehab.” I needed somebody to talk to and to get advice from and the both of them helped me so much. The gave me realistic advice and helped me through those rough six weeks. The two of them were as important to me as my arms and legs. The would always stop me in the halls and ask me how I was doing and ask if they could do anything to help me. It was unreal!

Mr. McLaughlin asked me if I and a friend from treatment would want to speak to the sixth grade students! We did. It was great talking to those kids and warning them about drugs and peer pressure. This gave me more self-esteem. The week later my friend and I received letters from each kid thanking us. It meant a lot to know the I made a difference in their lives. After that, my friend and I spoke to our senior class about our experiences with drugs and treatment. Which gave me more self-esteem.

Now out of school I can happily say that I am clean and sober! With the help of Mr. McLaughlin and Mr. Osman I kicked the habit! I have gained two great friends that have helped me through the roughest time in my life! They care about the kids and listen! I think and know that they are superb people!

One of your happy and sober graduates,

TF

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Mark McLaughlin has been my friend, my confidant, my counselor, my running buddy, my nutritionist, my mentor, my secret admirer, my chauffeur, and most importantly, my friend for over thirty years. From running Syttende Mai together to teaching at McFarland, Mark has been a constant influential force in my life. We became friends while I was dating Bill and have remained close ever since. I treasured Mark’s friendship so much that I asked him to walk me down the aisle of the church at Bill’s funeral. He held me up and I was able to face the reality of Bill’s passing with Mark at my side. Every week since (and often daily) there has been a text or a call from Mark to see how things were going. We would meet for coffee and he would listen to my stories and offer advice and hugs. We would laugh together and cry together as we journeyed down the path of life.

Mark was always willing to help out any time anyone asked. I will especially remember him driving my family to and from various events and/or airports at any time of day or night. Mark always had a smile on his face and a story to share. He once picked us up at the Madison airport with a chauffeur hat on his head holding a sign that read, “Garvey Family.” Mark even went out of his way to pick up a friend of ours on the beltline who had forgotten something important for a band trip. Mark, did not know the person he was picking up, but took him home and then returned him to the band bus. The two started talking while on their short journey and became friends as a direct result of Mark’s infectious spirit.

Mark led by example all his life by setting high standards for himself and everyone he came in contact with. He was an impassioned teacher and coach. He urged all of us to never give up and to always be positive. He also led by example while he fought cancer. He held off this terrible disease for almost two years. This is remarkable considering that with his original diagnosis he had been given less than one month to live.

I will miss Mark’s smiles, jokes, texts, hugs, advice and friendship. However, I know that somewhere in the future our paths will cross. To borrow a phrase from Carrie Underwood: “I will see you again. This is not where it ends. I will carry you with me, until we meet again.” Rest in peace my friend. I love you!

Michelle Garvey

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Mark’s Pallbearers and Who and What They Represent

Jen Pirog: Jen represents all of the athletes I had the pleasure to coach throughout the years, both male and female, and all the great memories and experiences they have provided me. As the song says, “I’ve had the Time of my Life, and I owe it all to you!” Jen was my last stand at the Alamo, and I’m asking her to stand one last time.

Jen has given of her time to me.

Renee Bailey: “Bitters” represents all of the students that walked in and out of my life (classroom) throughout the years that I have had a chance to make a positive and significant difference in their lives. I couldn’t reach and touch all of them, but Renee is one who recognized the “tap on the shoulder.” Renee has given of her time to me.

Michelle Garvey: Throughout my many years at McFarland I have come in contact with many families, and if I had a ‘McFarland Family’ it would be the Garvey’s. Michelle is also a representative of all of the great colleagues I have been fortunate enough to work with; and the deep Badger friendship that Bill and Michelle have given me.

Michelle and Bill have given of their time to me.

Note: These three ladies—Jen, Renee, and Michelle—are the self-proclaimed “We Love Mac Club”.

Kelly Sexton: Represents all of my family members and Kelly being a Naval Veteran, represents all of those Veterans who have defended our freedom which allowed me the freedom to do what I do.

Kelly has given of his time to me.

George Fuller: I have always told people that I have known two GREAT men in my life. George Fuller and Grandpa Kort. George represents the guidance, the graciousness, and the humility we could all benefit from.

George has given of his time to me.

John Feldner: I have always commented that John should be our “designated’ faculty person. John has always looked and acted as professional as all educators should. His passion and dedication to education, to McFarland, and to the growth and development of all, is what all educators are meant to emulate.

John has given of his time to me.

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Honorary Pall Bearer

Brianne Sexton: We all come and go as individuals from this earthly place, but “we do survive as families.” Brianne represents the eternal youth in all of us and the generational passing of the torch. If I have been able to impart some of life’s lessons to any of you, then it is your responsibility to pass them along to the Brianne’s of the World.

Time is the most valuable commodity we can give each other, I no longer can, but YOU can! Spend time with each other as a favor to me.

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Mark Francis McLaughlin (obituary)

Mark Francis McLaughlin, age 62, passed away on Saturday, Aug. 24, 2013, after a courageous 19 month battle against esophageal cancer. He was born on June 15, 1951, in Appleton, the beloved son of Eugene and Joyce McLaughlin. Mark graduated from UW-Oshkosh and taught at McFarland High School for 35 years. He coached football, track, and women’s professional football. Mark enjoyed running, traveling, cars, yard work, remodeling, and his pets, Macky and Bucky.

Mark was a beloved son, brother, teacher, friend and coach. He is survived by his mother, Joyce McLaughlin; sister, Pat (Mike) Sexton; brothers, Jeff (Amy) McLaughlin and Greg (Lisa) McLaughlin; nieces and nephews, Kelly (Jess) Sexton, Ann (Dan) Ginstead, Megan (Jeremy) Wood, Matt (Kate) McLaughlin, Beth McLaughlin, Mitch McLaughlin, and Cooper McLaughlin. He was preceded in death by his father, Eugene Francis McLaughlin; paternal grandparents, Ed and Mary McLaughlin; and maternal grandparents, Louis and Veronica Kort.

Funeral services for Mark will be held at ST. DENNIS CATHOLIC CHURCH, 505 Dempsey Rd., Madison at 3 pm on Sunday, Sept. 1, 2013. Private burial will be in Holy Name Cemetery in Kimberly. Visitation will be held at GUNDERSON EAST FUNERAL HOME, 5203 Monona Dr. Madison, from 3:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 31, 2013. Online condolences may be made at www.gundersonfh.com.

“I wish to extend a very special thanks to my sister, Pat; brother-in-law, Mike; Jean Hodge and to the staff and donors at Turville Bay, St. Mary’s Hospital and Surgical Procedures, and the staff at Dean Care Oncology and Agrace HospiceCare. I also want to express my gratitude to the American Red Cross for the many pints of life they have made available to me. Please find your nearest blood drive and give, give, give the Gift of Life; and keep on giving. In lieu of flowers, a gift will be given to the Red Cross and a scholarship fund has been started in Coach Mac’s name with the McFarland Educational Foundation.”