Lillian "Nani" Loretta Didato

A loving mother with a passion for her grandchildren, Lillian "Nani" Didato was an extraordinary woman. She had experienced great joy and great loss in life, yet she was a constant reservoir of strength to those who depended on her. Family was the cornerstone of Lillian's life, and she took great joy in her children, eight grandchildren and eleven great grandchildren throughout the years.

With the end of the Great War, the year 1919 marked a time of change in American history, as young men returned home from Europe to start their families amidst a booming post-war economy. In Brooklyn, New York, Albert Mumma and his wife, Laura, were among the many expecting parents, and on October 14, 1919, they were blessed with the birth of their daughter, Lillian Loretta.

Lillian and her sister, Florence "Flossie", were very close, growing up in the suburbs of Brooklyn. They both graduated from Grover Cleveland High School and for fun, they often rode around town on the vegetable wagon with their grandfather. The girls were blessed with a fun-loving and beautiful mother, who made every day interesting. A bit of a daredevil, Laura liked to take the girls to Coney Island and ride every scary ride in the amusement park. Lillian admired this trait in her mother and radiated this zest for life, as she got older.

At the age of 14, Lillian met the love of her life, Frank Michael Didato. He was a charmingly handsome young man who lived in their neighborhood. Over the next five years, their puppy love turned to true love and they were happily married in 1938. Lillian and Frank spent the next 62 years together, raising their three children: Loretta, Salvatore and Frank, and sharing many precious events. Money was often tight for the family and there was usually not enough for vacations. However, one year, Frank scraped enough money together to rent a small bungalow on Long Island, which was nothing more than four wooden walls nailed together, along with a piece of screening braced by a few sticks to form the porch. It had a water pump in the kitchen, an outhouse and chamber pot, and the lake was polluted, but nevertheless, Lillian was in heaven! Unlike at home, the children bathed in a huge wash bucket and ate peanut butter from a jar. She and the children spent the entire summer at this very rustic cabin, enjoying their time together, though Lillian longed for the weekends when Frank could join them.

Frank and Lillian and their three children lived in a second floor apartment in Brooklyn. Florence and her family lived on the first floor. Although the landlord did not permit pets in the building, the family always had a cat and a couple of birds, which were hidden away when the landlord came for the rent each month. Aside from being very close sisters, Lillian and Florence loved being neighbors and often shopped and cooked together, sharing many great laughs along the way. Throughout their lives, they were a constant support for each other, though sadly, Florence died at the age of 63; a great sadness that Lillian never got over.

As her children grew older and married, Lillian was blessed with the births of 8 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren, whom she adored. She poured the same amount of love into these relationships as she did with her own children. After Lillian's daughter Loretta was divorced from her first husband, she came to live with her parents along with her son, Evan, Lillian's grandson. This precious boy was showered with love and attention from his grandparents and they helped raise him while Loretta worked. From this time on, Lillian became known as "Nani" to everyone because of little Evan, and he never failed to bring a smile to Nani's face and melt her heart whenever he was around. In later years, Lillian and Frank sold their house in New Jersey and moved to San Jose, California, in 1996, to be near their daughter Loretta and husband John, and grandson Evan and his wife Lisa and their family. Here Lillian enjoyed her great grandchildren Maggie and Jake, and attended their many school and sport activities, proudly sitting on the sidelines with her big brimmed hat and cheering them on.

For Lillian, family was the greatest source of happiness in her life. Her ultimate dream would have been to have all her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren close by her, but unfortunately, her grandchildren Thomas, MaryEllen, Nicholas, Melissa and Jesse, were a great distance away. However, this did not keep Lillian from having a close relationship with each of them through phone calls and letters, and celebrating with them at weddings, graduations, etc. Lillian took great pride in her family and the successes in their lives are a great testimony to her parenting.

Besides being a wonderful mother and grandmother, Lillian was also an amazing cook. An invitation for dinner at Nani's house was never turned down. It still astounds her family how she managed to get everything on the table by herself, still hot, while making it look like it was a breeze. Her desserts were always homemade and picture perfect, however, she was a culinary master at making lasagna, soups and cheesecake. Always prepared, Lillian had several homemade meals in the freezer just in case several people dropped by unannounced.

Although Lillian's life was happy, it was marked with great sorrow. Lillian lost her youngest son, Frank, when he was 52, and a week later, her beloved husband Frank also passed away. Then, a mere five months later, Lillian lost her other son, Sal. Devastated by her tremendous losses, Lillian did not give up on life, and instead was a continuing strength to which her family could depend on for support. Shortly after her husband's death, Lillian went to live with her daughter Loretta, where she was surrounded by love and activity, particularly by Sally, their yellow Lab, and Oreo and Tommy, the family cats. They happily greeted Lillian when she fed them their breakfast and dinner or took them for short walks around the block, and longed for her loving pets and kind words. Then in April, Gus the Pug joined the family and became a permanent fixture on Nani's lap.

Lillian always had a happy demeanor about her and loved to express this happiness through singing; she had a very lovely voice. Her sweet voice could be heard throughout the house for she sang when she cleaned the house, hung out clothes on the line, ironed or even when cooking. Some of her favorite singers included Perry Como, Bing Crosby and Johnny Mathis, though more recently, Lillian fell in love with Rod Stewart's rendition of the oldies. In her leisure time, she enjoyed doing crossword puzzles and always finished them without "peeking." Lillian was also wonderfully skilled at crocheting and through the years made many family heirlooms, like tablecloths, bedspreads, scarves and snowflakes, which grace her families' homes. She was prouder than peaches to pass along her skills by teaching her granddaughter Mindy to crochet a few short weeks ago. Like her daughter Loretta, Lillian loved the excitement and activity of Christmas. From cooking and decorating to shopping, wrapping and visiting, this was undoubtedly Lillian's favorite time of the year.

Lillian was a very special lady whose greatest joy was sharing herself with her family, offering them the most precious thing she possessed - her time. It is a gift none of her family will ever forget.

Lillian Loretta Didato died on Thursday, August 18, 2005. She was preceded in death by her husband, Frank Michael Didato, her two sons, Salvatore and Frank Didato, and her sister, Florence Mumma. Lillian is survived by her daughter, Loretta (John) Coolidge; eight grandchildren: Thomas, MaryEllen, Evan, Mary, Mindy, Melissa, Jesse and Nicholas; eleven great grandchildren: Maggie, Jake, Michael, Matthew, Erienne, Aselin, Maille, Jaren, Reese, Dean and Strider. Please visit Lillian's personal memory page at www.lifestorynet.com where you may share a memory, order flowers or make a memorial contribution in her memory.