Carmen Tobar

Carmen Maria Tobar was a remarkable woman with an intense love for learning. With a life that was shared between two countries Carmen lived in the US while a part of her heart remained with her family in Quito, Ecuador. Because of her diverse cultural background, and frequent travels, Carmen grew to love many aspects of both her US and South American lives. However, no matter where she roamed, it remained clear that Carmen’s dearest treasure was always her family.

In 1928, the world was still enjoying a brief period of peace and prosperity, following the end of World War I. Though the Great Depression would hit the Western World in only one year, the election of Herbert Hoover in the United States showed promise of security and safety for industrialized nations. It was during this peaceful period in history, when Juan and Maria Luisa (Argotti) Viteri of Quito Ecuador welcomed their daughter Carmen Maria into their lives on August 14.

As the third in a family that would grow to include ten children, life was always exciting in the Viteri household. Growing up in the booming capital city of Quito (which now boasts over 1 million citizens) offered much excitement and opportunity for the Viteri children. Because the city was so large, there were great educational opportunities for the family and Carmen, who showed great promise at an early age, was able to attend elementary and high school near her home. As a student, Carmen was a quick learner and through her dedication she soon gained mastery of the English, Italian, and Spanish languages, and could even converse in French! However, an athletic young woman, Carmen divided her time at school equally between homework and sports. Carmen loved participating in sports and was on the track and field team in high school. Even as an adult Carmen always boasted that she was a fast runner. With an excellent academic record, it is not surprising that Carmen was quickly able to land a job upon graduating high school. With a keen eye for detail, Carmen acquired a position as a medical secretary for the executive offices at a hospital in Quito. As fate would have it, the hospital that employed Carmen was also a teaching hospital where the young Rodrigo Tobar was studying to become a doctor. It did not take long before destiny brought the couple together and they both knew it was love at first sight. Rodrigo and Carmen began dating immediately after their first encounter in 1950 and four short years later the couple took their vows in Quito, Ecuador in 1954; a day that Carmen always regarded as the happiest of her life.

Having been raised in a large family, Carmen was eager to have children of her own and it was not long after Rodrigo and Carmen were wed that the couple welcomed their first daughter Patricia into their family. During the first two years of Patricia’s life, Carmen and Rodrigo remained in Ecuador before finally deciding to move to New York City so that Rodrigo could continue his residency at the Lebanon Hospital in the Bronx in order to become a medical doctor. While Rodrigo was working in New York, Carmen returned to her home in Ecuador to deliver her second baby, a daughter named Monica. Though Rodrigo remained in the United States, Carmen was given plenty of aid in caring for her two daughters. Carmen had many family members back in Ecuador and with nine brothers and sisters to help childcare for Patricia and Monica was plentiful. It was not long after Monica was born that Rodrigo completed his residency and sought work in the Detroit area and at that time, Carmen returned to the United States to be with her husband and start a new life for her family. After settling down in Detroit, Carmen and Rodrigo celebrated their reunion with the birth of their third child Rodrigo Jr. While Carmen dedicated herself to caring for her young children, Rodrigo Sr. supported the family by working as a physician at the Maybury State Hospital in Northville near the family home. However, it was during one of Carmen’s frequent visits back to Ecuador when she gave birth to her fourth child Lilly in Quito. A fifth child David soon followed and was born in the United States shortly after the family moved from Northville to Southfield, Michigan finally settling in West Bloomfield, where Carmen would spend the rest of her life.

Though Carmen’s true love was her husband, her children, and later her grandchildren which she regarded as her most cherished possessions, she also fostered a love for many of the finer things in life. A South American at heart, Carmen loved the food of her native country, particularly seafood and lobster. Carmen also loved Ecuadorian music, as well as Classical, and Opera. Because she loved to travel so much, she was also able to enjoy visiting many museums and historical sights, and she held special reverence for the galleries she visited in Europe. Throughout her many travels, however, Carmen maintained that her favorite place on earth was the Galapagos Islands, located not too far from her home city, where she loved to watch the wild life. When Carmen was not jet setting around the world, she remained very committed to volunteering and often worked at a nursing home teaching the residents Spanish. A strong proponent of education, Carmen also taught Spanish at St. Michael School, which was affiliated with St. Michael Catholic Church in Southfield where she was a member of the Women’s Guild. Because her faith was always important to her, after moving to West Bloomfield Carmen transferred her membership to the Prince of Peace Catholic Church, where she attended regularly.

After seventy-five years filled with learning, love, and family, Carmen Maria Tobar died on February 13, 2004. Carmen will survive in the heart of her husband Rodrigo M.D. and children Pat (Jerry) Franklin, Monica (Tom) Proschek, Rod (Sandy), Lilly (Frank) Schell and David (Stacey). Her 11 grandchildren and several brothers and sisters will also remember her. Family and friends may gather to visit at McCabe Funeral Home 31950 W. 12 Mile Rd. Farmington Hills, Michigan 48334 Monday from 2-5 & 7-9pm. Funeral services will be held at Prince of Peace Catholic Church, 4300 Walnut Lake Rd. West Bloomfield, Michigan Tuesday 10:30am (In-state 10am). To read Carmen’s complete life story, share a memory, send flowers, or make a memorial contribution to Providence Cancer Foundation, please visit her personal webpage at www.lifestorynet.com

Carmen will be remembered as a woman who always tried to help her children in anyway that she could. She was always caring for her family, not just in the United States, but also her family in Ecuador who would frequently come and visit, sometimes for six months at a time. It is clear that Carmen touched many people in her lifetime, and she will always be remembered with love.