Debra Swardfihn

Vivacious, original, and free-spirited, Debra “Debbye” Swardfihn was the heartbeat of wherever she was. She had a sparkle about her that was impossible to miss, and her devotion to her family and friends was unmatched. Those who knew Debbye knew she enjoyed marching to the beat of her own drum. She aspired to be an original and unique individual and was always recreating her identity (as seen in the many ways she spelled her name throughout the years). As mothers go, Debbye’s children would say that they had the very best. She lived to love and nurture her children each and every day of her life. Warm, loving, and thoughtful, there was not a moment that went by when Debbye wasn’t making someone around her smile. She lived by the popular motto of F.R.O.G., which means Fully Rely on God, as her life was deeply rooted in a personal faith. Life will never be the same without Debbye here, but her spirit will remain forever near and dear to the hearts of all who were within her reach.

The 1960s were a vibrant time in American history when we were changing in new and exciting ways. Rock ’n Roll music, civil rights, and the space race colored the cultural fabric of our nation in an amazing display. Amidst this exciting time was the year 1967, was a year to remember in the lives of a young couple living in New Jersey, as they were eagerly anticipating the birth of a new baby as winter was drawing to a close. The big day finally arrived on March 10th when a baby girl they named Debra Cherise made her grand entrance in Eatontown. She was the oldest of three girls born to her parents, Don Sward and Carole Granger, and she was joined in her family by her sisters, Dayna and Dawn. Although she was born in New Jersey, Debra was raised in Oregon because her father was in the military. As a baby, all it took was listening to her father’s deep, bass singing voice while laying on his chest to put her right to sleep.

As a young girl, Debbye developed her spirit of independence. Her father described her as the one going the opposite way among a bunch of cattle walking in a field. Debbye was a great kid who had an incredible sense of compassion. A total social butterfly, Debbye loved socializing with friends and being around people. Having never played soccer before, Deb tried out for the soccer team in ninth grade. Needless to say, her skills were quite lacking when compared with her peers. However, the coach recognized this light in Debbye and saw her positive attitude as an inspiration for the other players and thus, decided to make her part of the team. While a student at Aloha High School in Aloha, Oregon, she was captain of the flag line in the marching band. Their team even went to nationals, and Debbye was a huge asset. Her father could always remember watching Deb and Dayna out “flipping the flags,” practicing their routine with a boom box. It could be said that academics weren’t Debbye’s main priority, she was always polite in class, and she loved chatting with friends. She went on to graduate from high school in 1985.

While still a high school student, Debbye met the young man who would change the course of her life forever. His name was Brian Fihn. When Brian was a junior and Debbye was a senior, both volunteered to help in the adaptive PE classes at their school, They discovered that they were both athletic and competitive by nature. In fact, Brian knocked her over at third base catching a fly ball! Following that altercation, it is well known that Debbye wasn’t the biggest fan of Brian. However, the ended up hitting it off when they went to Eugene, Oregon, for a Special Olympics event where they danced the night away. After dating for a time, they fell deeply in love. With a desire to build a life together, Debbye and Brian were married on July 1, 1989.

Together, Debbye and Brian were blessed with the births of three children, Hayden, Gabrielle, and Chandler. Her children describe her as the best mom ever. They said she was so easy to love because she was so loving, accepting, generous, compassionate, and selfless. Debbye didn’t have a lot of rules when it came to her children, but they always behaved because they didn’t want to disappoint her and had an abundant respect for her. She could easily be declared “the cool mom” as a lot of her kids’ friends felt comfortable coming to her for advice or just for a chat. Deb was not the best cook, but she mastered basic meals like hamburger helper dishes, macaroni and cheese, and spaghetti. She was expressive when it came to her children as she always said, “I love you, peanut,” to Chandler, “I love you, big boy,” to Hayden, and, “I love you, pretty girl,” to her daughter, Gabi. Although her marriage later ended in divorce, Deb was forever grateful for the children they shared and maintained a healthy relationship with Brian.

Even though caring for her children was always first and foremost in her life, Debbye enriched her journey in other ways as well. After relocating to Winona, Minnesota, in the late nineties, she continued to embrace every day she was given. Debbye loved taking road trips with her family, listening to late 90s music while singing along and drinking coffee. She was primarily a stay-at-home mother, especially since Brian frequently traveled for work, but she did work for Catholic Charities in Winona and also for the Department of Workforce Development in Onalaska, Wisconsin. One of Deb’s proudest moments came when she graduated from Viterbo University in La Crosse, Wisconsin, when she was 44 years old, earning a Bachelor’s degree in Religious Studies as well as Servant Leadership and Psychology. It was quite a sight to see as she walked across the stage while her whole family celebrated.

Although she was taken from her loved ones much too soon, Debra Swardfihn squeezed every last drop out of life. She has been described as a rebellious maverick who was independent and courageous, especially when it came to engaging in her fight with breast cancer. Debbye was deeply concerned about social justice and making a difference in the world around her, however, her greatest passion was found in the love she had for her children. She will never be forgotten.

Debra “Debbye” Cherise Swardfihn, of Winona, MN, died on Thursday, November 20, 2014 surrounded by her loving family and cherished friends. Debbye’s family includes her parents, Don Sward of La Grande, OR and Carole Granger of Aloha, OR; two sisters, Dawn (Kevin) Pastores of Sherwood, OR and Dayna (Dion) Dixon, of Beaverton, OR; nieces and nephews; and her three children, Hayden, Gabrielle, and Chandler, all of Winona, MN. Memorial Mass will be held 11 a.m., Monday, November 24, 2014, at St. Mary's Catholic Church with Reverend James Berning officiating. A gathering of family and friends will be held one hour prior in the visitation commons area. Please share a memory of Debbye with her family at www.hofffuneral.com.