Raymond Riker, III
Mar 2nd 1959 - Jan 3rd 2010
Print All
Amy Squiers
April 19th 2013
How very sad to learn that Ray is no longer with us in the physical world. I stayed at the Kirby House several years ago and was looking into booking another stay in the near future. I had such a fabulous time at the Kirby House under the incredible hosting of Ray & Jim. So sorry to hear of the loss. My thoughts & prayers are with Jim. I wish you happiness & success in your future endeavors. Please know that you made so many happy memories for so many people who encountered you & your love. God bless & take care!
Amy
Tony & Kelly
March 6th 2013
We stopped to wish a (belated) happy birthday wish to our dear and much missed Ray.
Still hard to believe...and understand his absence.
Mimi C. Mazzara
August 8th 2012
I was so sorry to hear of Ray's passing...We met while on a Princess cruise a few years ago, I was traveling with my brother Fred and friends Randy anf Kevin (from CA) we were to get together for drinks the last night of the cruise and I came down with a deadful flu and couldn't come. I've talked a bout coming to Kirby House ever since and am planning to come this month is something is available. I will surely miss seeing Ray.
Mimi Kim
July 11th 2012
I'm so sorry to hear about Raymond's passing. I was looking to book another weekend at the website and saw this link. I stayed at Kirby House years ago and had such a lovely time. It was my first trip to Saugatuck. I'm a native of Detroit and grew up down the street from the amazing restaurant Tribute, where he worked. I'm a passionate foodie and remember exchanging recipes with him. I still remember a wonderful coffee cake and these insane turkey breakfast enchiladas. He was a wonderful, cheerful and welcoming person. My condolences to his partner Jim and his family.
Susie RikerHayne
May 24th 2012
Raymond...........
Here it is Spring of 2012 and still forget at times, that I cannot call you about a garden question. Just a couple days ago I thought I need to call...............
I was at the beautiful Kirby just a couple weeks ago. Stayed up on the 3rd floor ...in the 'BlueJean' room. My name for #10
It was a wonderful visit , yet bittersweet. I miss you so.
Jimmy is doing a wonderful job keeping the Kirby House looking good, constantly sprucing up with some new item. He does still love to shop, yet is good at it and The Kirby continues to just keep stylin'. Our Sister, Marguerite helps quite a bit too, with her deep cleaning and garden work. The busy season is about to start and she will be there full time. Her and Jimmy do all the cooking. Together they shine. She lives so close and easy to zip on over. She has a really cute place , a carriage house over garage in Saugatuck. She has view of the Kalamazoo River.
Well I best go........just been thinking about you a lot and never did write during our birthday month.....Last call I had from you on my birthday, I had turned 59 and at end of call, you reminded me that our Mother only made it until then. I am now 62 and doing really well.
Love you............Susie xxoo
Bonnie Meek
May 23rd 2012
Oh my gosh I was shocked to read about Ray! I have not visited the Kirby House since approx. 2005 and was just researching the B&B's in Saugatuck and came across the Kirby House. We frequented there at least twice a year and Ray and Jim were terrific hosts. I remember Ray's cooking classes...he was a terrific chef. We always knew that our gourmet breakfasts would be an absolute treat. We were sure to get downstairs on time for this special feast! He was a special part of the drawing card that brought us to the inn. Him and Jim were a terrific couple and there love was a love you would look up to. Thank you for all the beautiful memories and down to earth congeniality. Ray will be a fond memory in our lives forever.
Bonnie Meek
Kathleen Riker-Dinkel
March 3rd 2012
My dear little brother Raymond. Yesterday would have been your 53rd birthday, still so young especially to me being 13 and 1/2 years older. It's hard to believe it's been over two years since you left us. You had lots of birthday wishes on facebook. and to think we would have been facebook friends too since I'm now on. I think of you so often and love to look through the box of memorabilia you mailed to me the day before your surgery. I remember when you were in the hospital we would be talking on the phone and you would ask if it arrived yet and did I open it yet. It contained special memories, letters, notes, etc. One I really cherish, a letter from Katie Gorski to mom when she was having one of her "bad times" and was in the hospital. I shared it with Susie when she was here two weekends ago as it mentioned how I had taken you to their house for a show she and Elaine had put on in Gorski's basement and how you really liked it and the popsickles they made. I guess you must have been about 2. Also the letter (your last) to me and a note on Betty Davis stationary and a cute comment about mom.
I loved reading the note written by Lauri Farmer Tuscano just before this one. It was wonderful reading about your special friendship and things you did. Reading memories from your friends are special, as I was married when you were so little and didn't know about many of these things.
Well, I miss you so much, but have so many wonderful memories of you, always smiling, and that helps. I love you Raymond.
Your loving sister,
Kathleen
Lauri Farmer Toscano
February 6th 2012
I knew of Ray's passing but only recently found out about this memory page. I grew up kitty-corner from the Rikers on State Fair. There were no girls my age on the block so most of my early childhood memories are of playing with my friend "RayRay", he was a year younger than me but that didn't matter. We played for hours in the big sandbox in his yard or had sleep outs in a tent in his yard or ours but first we would have to go to the party store on Kelly and buy a quarter's worth of penny candy. We'd go around the block to see if "johhny & Joey" were out and when they'd see us we'd go running down the street screaming, I still can't figure out why we did that, but we did. And who can forget the Releaseo games on the front lawns!
I hadn't seen RayRay since I moved from MI in 1978 but you never forget one of your first friends and besides who else could have done cartwheels off the porch and all the way down the steet without missing a beat.
To all the Rikers, I'm so sorry for your loss, our family's have shared many things over the years including the loss of a sibling. RayRay was very special and will always have a place in my heart.
To Jim, I 'm also sorry for your loss and that I never got to go to The Kirby to meet you and spend time with you and RayRay, from all the memories that I have read it sounds like it was very special.
RIP RayRay
Pam Johnson and Dimitria Vandarakis
May 20th 2011
As summertime rolls around again we think about finding a weekend to spend at the Kirby house and of course, we think of you and Jim. I wish you would be there this summer to give me your big hug like you always did and greet us with your wide, open smile! I know that you are shining your light into all our lives from where you are. We miss you Ray and look forward to spending some time with Jim, hanging out with Moscow and floating in the pool on a warm sun shiny day...... love u. Pam
Sister Susie
March 11th 2011
Hello Brother...........
Well tomorrow if my birthday and if all goes as planned, I will be 1yr older...............61 WOW
Had dinner with my friend Edel last night
We had a toast for my birthday , for you and for her late husband, Terry who would have been 76 on Monday.
He passed away this past year also. HIs plane went down in rugged terrain up in the Canadian NW Terriotory
Sunny is home and we are going to go out for dinner tomorrow night and Bday dinner at in-laws on Sunday.
Best part..........gifts
I am hoping to head to Michigan next week and spend a bit of time at your Kirby House...sure wish you were there.
Miss you ever so much
Happy Birthday to US...... Love Susie xxoo
your one and only Pisces Sister :}
Susie RikerHayne
March 2nd 2011
Raymond
Here it is another year we will not celebrate our bdays together. I have really been missing you my sweet, sweet baby brother.
Happy Birthday , Happy Birthday Happy Birthday to you.
tra la la .........tra la la "52"
Marguerite is bringing a bouquet of silk flowers from the two of us, for you on your special day. I helped her pick them out over the phone. She at Hobby Lobby and me here in Colorado at my desk............
I will be there near the end of the month and we will then visit you at your spot add a sprig or two .
Love You Forever
Susie -your Pisces sister xxoo
Lucianne & Bill DeMarco
February 2nd 2011
I'm so sad to hear about the loss of Ray. I doubt that you would remember us, we were the couple with the 1 year baby girl that came in the summer of '98. Although we were not the typical couple at your B&B, you hosted us with such warmth and friendship and made us and our baby feel so welcome. I remember all of us (baby Madi too) in the pool just floating around and enjoying the summer sun. I still talk about your amazing blueberry pancakes...so yummy!
And although it has been awhile since we've been back I just wanted to say how sorry we are for your loss and hope the days ahead will get easier.
Fondly...
Lucianne
Jimmy
January 9th 2011
Ray, I put my name as "Jimmy" as you used to call me. I miss you so much. A year ago today I buried you. No one can ever understand what it is like to bury a spouse unless you've done it. At the same time, it is so nice to know where you are (your earthly body) and go and talk to you. I miss you so much. I love you forever....Jimmy
January 4th 2011
god i miss you sooooooooooo much Ray! Will never forget you! Steven Watt
Megg and Ray Howland
November 12th 2010
Ray!!!!
Ray and I are in absolute SHOCK!!! Craving your yummy blueberry crapes and warm smile, we were just looking up the Kirby on-line thinking that maybe we could take a little trip for the winter since it has been years since our last visit. We are so very saddend by the news of your passing. You made going to the kirby something to look forward to. We used to visit every year for our anniversary and then times got tough and we had to tighten the purse strings and skip our anniversary trip. We will forever regret that decision. Ray and I cannot even imagine the Kirby without you there greeting us and making us feel so at ease and welcome. I will forever regret not purchasing one of your glass works of art as well. I guess I just took you for granted and thought you would always be there waiting to greet us. Thank you for making our times at the kirby so very special. Ray and I have not been to any other Bed and Breakfast since our last trip to the Kirby, that is how very special you made it for us. Next time I am in my garden trimming the roses or walking down the beach looking for sea glass you can be sure that I will be thinking of you.
Thanx for the memories Ray,
Heidi Aldama
November 2nd 2010
I just read the news and am so saddened. I will always cherish the times I spent at the Kirby House and "chef Raymon" making the best breakfasts ever. I still to this day make the sticky bun recipe every Christmas Eve morning for my family. I still have all the beautiful glass candle holders and vases that Ray made. I loved how he would go to the beach every morning looking for glass to use for his glass work. Jim, my heart goes out to you. I'll never forget how we would laugh about being German and what a blessing/curse it is. It has been many years since I have been there (nine to be exact - since I had my children) but I remember all the great times like it was yesterday.
Sincerely,
Heidi Aldama
Lara Gillentine
September 12th 2010
I am so saddened by this news. I first visited the Kirby House in May of 2009. Ray listened to my story about an old cookbook my grandma had given me. I didn't know the name of it because it was so old and torn up. He walked into the kitchen and came out with the exact cookbook I was talking about. His mom had given it to him. It was such a sweet moment for me. It was the weekend you guys got your new car. Ray was so excited about it. Jim, I can only imagine your pain. Know that Ray holds you in his heart always.
Jim Gowran
September 5th 2010
My first summer without you. It is over. I feel sick without you here. We loved when Labor Day came. It meant we made it through another summer. The slower and easier days were ahead. More time to share with each other. I will miss that this fall. Miss it terribly. Come home Ray, I miss you!
Love,
Jimmy
your sister Susie
August 12th 2010
Raymond
I miss you so much, as so many of us do.
I miss our chats during the spring/summer months about our gardens. Mine are so lush this year. I have sent out many a photo via email to everyone. Wish I could sent to you too.
Years ago, back in Royal Oak, you gave me a couple small Obedience Plants......at the time telling me that they are not at obedinent and do spread. Be careful. They have
They are gorgeous with the with the cutest little faces.
I bring them in to work in vases often. I have transplanted several/given several away and just pulled them out and tossed. I am sure you did the same.
The purple Phlox you gave me back then also are so beautiful. I cut them and add to many a vase with so many to look at all the time. Thanks for those two plants
It helps to know that I did not buy them and what I did plant and transplant so many years ago, from you, is thriving in my gardens. I love you
Susie
I bet you are in the biggest most beautful gardens ever
Susie RikerHayne
March 2nd 2010
My Dear Sweet Raymond
What a sad day today was not being able to call you on your special day. Happy Birthday tra la la
I brought in Kirby coffee to the office to share with friends Several of us toasted you
Tonight I will have some wine and make a specail toast.
No vodka during the week......it is Lent.
I do have a few rules yet been good.
I hope you are well and happy. We sure miss you.
I know some day we will all be together.
We will once again celebrate our Pisces birthdays.
I am going to make it to 60 -8day to go and look 50
Love you Raymomd La Kook
Your favorite Pisces Sister Susie -the Potchair Kid xxoo
Keith & Sue Charak
February 13th 2010
I would love when I'd run into Ray after having a few (at least I ahd a few) and we'd start saying, "your the best, I love ya man". Ray..Your the best, I love ya man...Keith
Keith & Sue Charak
February 13th 2010
My cute memory of Ray is that we'd get to VS Flowers at the same time and have this faux flower war going on, "I'm going to get all the best red alstroemeria", we'd laugh and tell a few quick stories about what was happening at our respective B & B's. Your presence is missed Ray, the world is a better place because of you.
Rob Scott - Chicago, IL
January 21st 2010
Jim, before I begin, I wanted to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones. I understand the pain of losing a loved one. Yet, I can’t imagine your loss. It is easy to say where is God during times of suffering? If you want to know where God is then look around at the outpouring of Love. God is Love. Let go and let yourself fall into the arms of this Love. May God comfort you as you continue on your journey and may you one day find healing.
I remember my first visit with my partner and his close friends to Kirby House. We left Chicago in an ice storm and traveled several hours after a hectic work week in December.
We arrived around midnight. I remember walking in through the front door with the holiday decorations and dimmed lighting in the front parlor and the smell of home cooking that still lingered in the air. It felt amazing. We all sat around the fire laughing and telling stories into the night. The best was yet to come.
I awoke in the morning with the smell of coffee and breakfast in the air. I went downstairs in my bathrobe hoping I didn’t offend the other guests. I saw Ray cooking away instantly putting everyone at ease and making them feel at home. I could tell he was in his element because he loved what he was doing. Most people spend a lifetime looking for their passion. Ray was living his dream and inviting us in to share the joy.
Later that morning, the dining room filled with people from different parts of the country. In my heart I felt home. The breakfast was outstanding and I could hear Ray secretly laughing to our stories with you in the kitchen.
My partner and I returned to Kirby House several times. After we broke up and his friends left with him, I returned to Kirby house alone and wounded. Ray would stay up and talk with me about my ended relationship and give me encouragement. I can still hear his laugh and see his smile. I spoke to him in depth asking how he made his dream a reality. I was listening attentively for a clue to find and live my own passion.
I will always remember Thanksgiving 2008. Ray greeted me upon arrival after a long drive from Chicago and said, “Welcome home.” His words stay with me, as do those of Mary Baker Eddy, “Home is the dearest spot on Earth and should be the center – though not the boundary – of the affections.”
The house soon filled up with last minute guests who were mostly single, looking to get away, going through breakups, having significant others who just entered rehab, or having no family of their own.
Before dinner Ray had us each go around the table and share something we were grateful for. My response, “Being in the moment with everyone at Kirby house, eating one of the best cooked turkeys and a sense of home at a time in my life when I needed it most.”
Seasons change. Summer drinks by the pool, sitting out on the wrap around porch watching the colorful leaves, or talking in front of the glow of a warm fire as the snow fell gently outside. Whatever the season, we would all gather in the Jacuzzi under the stars. The one constant through all this was Ray’s love for you, Jim, Kirby house, and the many guests who were lucky enough to have discovered it.
Jim, you will always be connected to Ray – through Love.
Truth, Wisdom, Love, and Sincerity,
Rob Scott
Chicago, IL
Scott Riker/Brother
January 19th 2010
I have all great memories of Raymond,from our childhood days filled with fun iceskating through the canals on Harsens island,sledding at balduck hill or swimming and fishing in the summertime,or our family trips to Boblo island amusement park.And as we were growing up how proud I was to have Raymond be my best man ot our wedding.To be Godfather to our first child,Ray would come over on Sundays to play with Michelle and Scotty and we would watch football games together. We also worked together in several restaurants/kitchens where we both enjoyed learning from each other,and using the talents we learned from mom and dad. After our parents passed away our family stayed close together,Ray held some of the holiday dinners at our house on statefair where we grew up and when he moved to Royal Oak and to the Kirby House they hosted them there as well.We all really enjoyed those special get-togethers we will now cherish those times fore ver.I am very proud of Ray and Jims accomplishments since purchasing the Bed@Breakfast,and hope to see their dream continue to go on.We Raymonds family will give Jim all the help and support we can. Love you forever Raymond...your brother Scott.
January 19th 2010
Jim,
No need to share thoughts on a web page. Some hurts are too great to give others a venue. I (we) have shared a loss so great that words can not express. Grief can not/ or will not be printed or written. Be in touch with me, I have lost a love greater than love itself I WATCHED my !st born DIE IN FRONT OF MY EYES> at 16 years.
Jim Gowran
January 18th 2010
I weep. My mind whirls. I don't know what to say. I miss you. I will always have you in my mind EVERY part of EVERY day. You can only meet your "soulmate" once in this earthly lifetime...and I met mine...in you. I will struggle to go on. I will try to live the way you wanted me to live. I miss you so much. I will cherish the dreams I have of you. I love you and I miss you. I love you Ray...."love ya, mean it." _ Jimmy
Susie RikerHayne
January 17th 2010
Two weeks ago today, I lost my brother, my dear sweet Raymond. Oh how I will miss him. Such a loving, kind and witty soul he had.
I have so many fond memories. As I do with all my siblings, Raymond and I had a special bond, even more so in these last 20-30years. I moved to Colorado in 1979. Raymond was then 20 and I was 29. He visited me often in those early years and I have wonderful memories....
Boulder Falls -a few visits there ; yet the last one, he was insistant that he could make the rocky walk downhill and uphill to the Falls -on crutches. He was a determined man.
The show put on for my neighbors at the condo -twirling his flags and rifle in the field accross the way. The clapping that followed.
Raymond Colorado--up in the hills above Boulder.
Yes we took a picture by the sign.
We did some travel together. I met him in San Francisco for a few days once and years later , my husband and I met He and Jim for fun in Hawaii. More good memories.
He was so gifted from such an early age. The years with the
Drum and Bugle Corp and Color Guard. Years later teaching the girls at Royal Oak HIgh. Excellent Waiter/Chef/Artist , co-owner of a B & B , his dream. He had a wonderful life.
The artist....
In his years at the Kirby, he started to make sea glass art.
I have some of his early pieces, mainly of green, brown and clear glass, picked up along the shores of Lake Michigan.
He made napkin rings, candle stick holders, votives, vases and much more. Some were given to me as gifts and many I purchased through the years. I will forever treasure them.
Gardens and Flowers
I believe that all my siblings inherited a passion for this from our Father. He had beautiful gardens and many Roses.
I remember one year that Raymond planted a prickly cactus in the garden behind the house, amongst the Roses. I told him a cactus would never survive the winters.It did thrive for many years and is probably still there. He knew back then at an early age much about plants.
Raymond had beautiful gardens in Royal Oak and then at The Kirby. On my visits He was sure to show me all the new blooms and those which returned each year. He was so proud. So was I.
I took home seeds and small sprigs of plants that today flourish in my gardens. I had the traveling with plants via plane down to an art. One plant I took home was a type of Veronica with tall purple spikes. I loved it as did He. It has multiplied through the years and I have shared with many a friend and sibling. When Raymond and Jimmy bought the Kirby, we continued our exchanges. I brought different plants for him to add to his new gardens, including this Veronica. Raymond was thrilled as that was one of the plants that did not make the move. It started in Royal Oak
out to Colorado and back over to Douglas.
I named it the 'Royal Oak Veronica'
One more flower -the Black Eyed Susan.
I was a young girl with brown eyes and named Susan. I did change the name ot that flower to the Brown Eyed Susan. Only fitting and actually the buds are more brown than black.
During many of our chats, I would mention to Raymond different things about the Brown Eyed Susan. He told me over and over Black Eyed Susan and I would say Brown.
I told him I changed the name when I was a little girl and he was adamant that you could not change the name of a flower. You can though Raymond. You can do whatever your heart desires. In my gardens and whenever I see that plant, it is the 'Brown Eyed Susan'.
I will forever miss our exhanges and will enjoy all the more, the plants that bloom each year in my gardens.
My visits during those years were often and always fun.
Walks along the beach, sitting on the porch with cocktails, delicious dinners made special sometimes just for me. The three of us going out to dinner and so much more.....
I am the lucky one to have a brother like you. I will miss you so much, especially in early March around our birthdays.
May you Rest in Peace my Pisces Brother ....
Love and forever in my heart
Your Pisces Sister, Susie. )(
Phil Jozefiak
January 17th 2010
As I learned of the tragic news that was about to change my world, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. If only I had known that, my last stay at the Kirby House was the last time that I was to see my friend Ray, I would have never left. I have read a lot of the memories, thoughts, sentiments, poems and journals. One can only dare to dream, to be blessed with so many very dear friends and loving people whose lives have been touched so profoundly, by the both of you. My heart goes out to everyone and their families. Yet, I cannot help but feel a bit selfish for having thoughts of how this is going to affect me. I am so deeply saddened by this news. I cannot fathom the idea of going to my secret getaway without Ray Kirby being there with all of his abundant passions, jokes and banter. Goodbye Ray my dear friend. I am, and will, miss you always.
Marilyn S. Davis
January 14th 2010
I have been friends with Raymond's sister Susie for almost 40 years. I have been away, and upon my return got the dreadful email from Susie about Raymond's passing. I have been in Raymond's company many, many times over the years and he was always a very happy, fun person to be around. I know that Susie and the family will miss Raymond dearly and I know that the Kirby House and Jim meant so much to him. Some how, some day we all will be able to make some sense out of why this had to happen like this. My hope is that Raymond didn't suffer and that he is in God's hands looking down and just getting heaven ready for all of us when our time comes. That is what Raymond would do, you know? He will get things ready for all of us. That was his nature. I wish the Riker family much peace. I will help my dearest friend Susie through this too. May God rest his soul.
Char Cislo
January 13th 2010
Jim,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ray's family. Lisa called to tell me over the weekend and I am deeply saddened by this loss.
I know I have not had a chance to see both of you lately, but I have the fondest of memories of the you two hosting the "crazy nurses!"
Take comfort in the love and friendship the two of you were privilieged to share together. Thank you for sharing him with the rest of us!
Love, Char
Candy Sierminski
January 12th 2010
I have known Ray's sister, Susie for 20+ years both being in the travel industry.
On many occasions, when Susie would visit, she would come back and share all the wonderful memories of her relaxing days spent with Ray and Jim at the Kirby House.
Although I never met Ray in person, through Susie's smile as she spoke of her brother, brought out the real person in him. His vibrant personality and way he enjoyed his gardens...just as Susie does hers. The love he had for his family and partner for life speaks of the life he lived.
My heart goes to all of the Riker family and Jim..always remember that the memories that you have with Ray will be forever etched in your minds. Peace to all of you and may God grant you the strength to endure the weeks and months ahead.
God bless,
Candy
Alice Hayne
January 11th 2010
To Raymond's Dear Family,
When I think of Raymond. I can see him and Scottie walking
Susie down the aisle at Ryssby Church on her wedding day
to my oldest son Ralph. Both brothers looked so proud. It
was such a special day, the whole Riker family are special
people. I've only seen Raymond that one time but I feel that I knew him thru Susie. I know he will be missed so much, but I'm sure God has special plans for him.
God Bless All of You.
Kathleen Dinkel
January 11th 2010
I wrote a memory earlier, before we left for my precious brother's funeral. But now that we have returned back to Tennessee, for those who are following all of these memories, I wanted to share something that I was able to share with everyone at his beautiful service! And thank you to everyone who has shared their memories. . .it has helped me as well as our entire family so much.
When my brother Raymond was about 7 years old, my husband Richard (many know him as Dick) and I returned from 2-years in Germany with the Air Force. One day we took him with us to Montgomery Wards and his “big brother-in-law” bought him a set of Lincoln Logs. It must have been so special to him to because he mentioned those Lincoln Logs many times through the next 43 years.
We came here less than 2 weeks ago to spend (as Raymond called it) some “quality” time together and he mentioned that simple little gift of Lincoln Logs that Dick bought him so many years ago.
Raymond inherited his gentle, sweet and loving ways from both of our parents, but I know the gentleness was from our Mom with whom he shared a very unique and special relationship. His ability to take care of people, both friends and family, and making us all feel so special whatever the circumstances were, was probably from both of them. But his outgoing personality, very comedic and entertaining qualities, quick wit and those occasional snappy “zingers” definitely came from our dad.
When we lost our oldest son 16 years ago, he dropped everything and came out to Tennessee along with the rest of our sisters and brother, nieces and nephews to be there and share in our devastating loss. And then, just 4 months later, he came back to Tennessee to just spend some loving time with me and my family. That was Raymond, so unselfish!
I love you Raymond and now you’re in heaven with Mom and Dad and Mark and we will love you forever and know that we will see you again one day. I guess God wanted you with Him more than he thought we needed you.
Kathleen
Pat from Chicago
January 11th 2010
Dear Jim,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and the families.
A few years ago my daughter was suffering from the death of her dearest friend and you and Ray found a room for us in your inn even though you were going to be closed. You wrapped us in comfort, warmth of family, and outstanding food. The heated discussions in the kitchen when you thought we couldn't hear you, the laughter and the love you so obviously had for each other made us feel like a part of a very special retreat. Thank you for sharing yourselves.
May your memories make you smile and even laugh out loud.
With love and affection. Pat
Jim Renberg
January 11th 2010
I heard of Ray's passing 2 days ago, I'm so sorry Jim to hear of this news. My partner Tom and I stayed at the Kirby House once many years ago and feel in love with this area as we call it home now. 8 years ago I graduated from culinary school in Florida and returned to Saugatuck. I deceided to make a cold call to Ray to ask a few questions about his personal thoughts on food, cooking and how it works here. We talked for about 1/2 hour and he offered sound advice to me about bringing my culinary background to Saugatuck. The last thing he said to me - If you do not have this one cookbook you should get it. The name, The Professional Chef. That was Ray. I use the cookbook often. Jim, be strong and know this community supports you.
Jim and Tom
stephanie Schaefer
January 10th 2010
Dear Jim,
We are very saddened by Ray's passing. May god give you the strength and peace. He was a wonderful, caring and Charismaticman. He will be greatly missed.
Stephanie Schaefer.
Gary Herbertson
January 10th 2010
Jim.......my partner and I heard about Ray's passing last evening through some friends that summer in Saugatuck. On our visits to Saugatuck, we were always told that the best place to stay was the Kirby House. When we'd pass by your home on the way to the beach, we always admired the landscaping and the beauty of the home itself. I am sorry that we never got a chance to meet Ray and the next time we are in town, Russ and I will make it a point to stop by and say "hello". The numerous tributes expressed on this site are certainly a testament to what a wonderful man Ray was. Our thoughts & prayers are with you.
- Gary Herbertson & Russell Toles
"A human life is a story told by God" ~ Hans Christian Andersen
Rebecca Failing
January 10th 2010
I have been coming to Kirby House for a long while now, not only myself, but both my children and my husband. I was very shocked to hear of Rays passing, not thinking such a vital, loving man could be gone. Even though I live not so far away, we would always come back again and again not just because the house is magnificent, but because of the love and caring Jim and Ray spread all through it: from the front porch and yard, to the back and around the pool, to the insides up and down. I have always felt loved and welcomed every single time I walked over that threshold. Most times I would come there needing the love that both Ray and Jim gave. Most times, Ray would crack me up in his passionate zeal in how he would like (or not like!) things. And how his love for all the cats, especially Moscow. Liking all animals, seeing this in both Jim and Ray is another reason why I will always come back to Kirby House.
I am very saddened to hear of Ray's passing, and it's doubly hard as I am far away on another continent (Antarctica) and can't be there. I will pray for you Jim, that you will have strength and peace, and that your heart will someday be calm.
Be well, my friend.
Margie & Ed Laski (Dave's Mom & Dad)
January 9th 2010
We only met Ray and Jim this past September when we stayed at the Kirby House along with our son, Dave. He has known these wonderful men for about 12 years. They became such special friends to Dave and his group that would stay at the Kirby House in July and possibly a few more stays during the summer. Their group of friends would have such a wonderful time and adventure. Ray and Jim each had such a special warm charm about them and made you feel so welcome and at ease during your stay. Ray did have a special quality about him. We enjoyed a wonderful afternoon on that great wraparound front porch and discovered we had lived only one block from each other but on the same street in Detroit. Dave and Ray had attended the same high school but Ray was a senior when Dave was a freshman. Who knew!! Then to discover Jim and Dave also attended another school but at different times. My this world of ours is small. Warm conversation creates warm memories. These two men created a very special atmosphere of warmth at this grand lady called the Kirby House and some of the most delicious meals ever. We may have met only once but felt like we knew you forever. And, forever in our hearts you'll be. Rest in peace dear friend. You'll be a special angel to many of us even with that sweet twinkle in your eye.
Margie & Ed
Steve & Susie Cornett
January 9th 2010
Cinco de Mayo...need I say more? Jim, you are in our thoughts and prayers...along with family and friends of Ray. Ray, we are so glad to have met you and you will forever be in our memories.
Andre Williams/Joseph Kiersey
January 9th 2010
Dear Jim,
Please accept our deepest sympathy. Words cannot express how sorry we are to hear about the sudden loss or Ray. Our hearts go out to you. As you know, Ray was a unique man, kind, generous, thoughtful, and a great host who always opened your home to make us feel welcome and comfortable on our visits. He was a friend and character and will be sadly missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and both of your families during this time of sorrow.
May you rest in peace Ray. In the hands of an Angel and now in Gods arms.
Sincerely and Lovenly,
Andre Williams
Joseph Kiersey
Chicago, Il.
John Schaefer
January 9th 2010
Ray and I met in the mid 1970 during a season with the Saginaires Drum and Bugle Corp. He was the kid from Detroit and was not immediately embraced by the group but along the way he became one of the gang of five. Jo, Debbie Shoo, Grover, Ray and I become fast friends and over the next few years this evolved into strong friendships.
But it didn’t end there. Over those years Ray became one of my best friends. This is not a feat easily accomplished because over the years I count very few individuals as close personal friends and Ray was one of them.
I spent a summer in Detroit with Ray and his parents and during that time my life intertwined with his sister Grace. We were all members of the Drum Corp and would drive to and from Detroit to attend practices and the tours. This was not always an easy task but we seemed to endure and move on.
As our friendship grew, Ray and I eventually became room mates in Bridgeport Michigan. This is when Ray shared his dream of one day become a Rock Star. He went as far as to develop a ‘stage name’ for himself and at that point, and for evermore, he became known as Mondo Verone Bondage Bereznikov to me. Mondo was now his name and even as the toils of life and reality moved Ray past his dream of stardom I never stopped using that name for him.
Ray’s deep seeded desire to serve was starting to bloom during those times also and everyone around him could see that he would become one of the best at whatever he choose to do. Ray worked in Frankenmuth as a waiter at the Bavarian Inn and was much more than a waiter but an actor with a heart. He would often talk about work in a way that not many 19 years could do.
His love to entertain was also growing and I often remember the neighbors less than joyful comments when Mondo turned the stereo speakers out the window so he could put on his show in the front yard of the apartment building. He would take his rifle and flag and put on a show for the world to see. As everyone who knew Ray knows, he was not a shy wall flower by any means.
His ability to turn every day life situations into songs also amazed me. To this day my personal favorite was ‘Dawn the Fawn’, a song about a friend of ours girlfriend. It had several verses and seemed to be the opening song each Saturday morning. Mondo could take even the most unnoticeable event and turn it to song.
I never did get to visit or see Ray’s achievement of business ownership in the B and B but I know as I look over others’ comments that it certainly was the Ray I knew that was there. He did not know how to do things half way. In fact Ray’s way was all out. My wife, daughters and I visited Ray after his parents passing in Detroit. Ray prepared a meal for royalty and even though we only spent a few hours that day many years ago the memory is as strong as if it had happened last week.
I have not seen Ray for about 15 years and last talked to him about five years ago. Life’s journey took us in different directions. But his passing has left a large whole in my heart and I will miss his presence here on earth.
Ray, rest in peace and know that the people you touched while you were with us will live on in our hearts and lives.
Michael Corneille
January 9th 2010
To Jim and Ray's Family:
I am overwhelmed and sorry for your loss. I could get into all the wonderful memories I shared with this wonderful man, along with Jim, while they lived in Royal Oak, Michigan.
The fabulous dinner parties on your deck, get togethers at my house to plan my garden, impromptu "bike stops" for a refreshing drink and talk about life>> again, your deck.. While we laughed and you bitched about that hotel and the Wendy's drive in speaker, but those were good times and memories that I will never forget, or your friends will.
The visit I made to Sagutauk, you had a broken leg..While impromtu and you are in pain..you still smiled and we laughed..........Good memories and I was blessed to be you friend.
There is a new star in the sky tonight.
Michael
David E. Laski
January 9th 2010
Sorry for a third entry, but today I had to say goodbye to someome very special. Goodbye? Ray, how could I possibly say goodbye to a man who enjoyed life as much as you? Especially someone who was taken from us way too soon. Your warmth, kindness, that smile, the summertime fun, sea glass, the laughter, the Kirby Creed ( Yes there is such a thing), your gardens, Christmas in July, Kirby Pool Punch, Nicknames, Labor Day and a relationship with Jimmy I TRUELY admired. Since Sunday I have been on an emotional Roller Coaster. The fact you're gone was a shock and blow to many. So many fond memories over 12 short years. Memories I will always treasure. All the peoples lives you touched besides mine. To know you was to love you! I feel a void and emptiness as if a part of me was taken with you. I don't know what to do with this feeling. I know you're in a better place free from illness and pain. Carl and I took a single rose to remember you by from the floral arrangement we sent. We were sad as we took them and left the Kirby House. Then I thought you wouldn't want us to be sad, you would want us to walk to our cars with the rose in our teeth!! Rest in peace dear Ray-Ray until we see each other again. I miss you, I love you and will never ever forget you! Dave
Susan Michels Lyford
January 8th 2010
Ray remembers me as Sue and we were very close friends through elementary school. Our families went to church together and our brothers and sisters went to school together as well. Ray and I were friends through most of elementary school due to our quirky sense of humor and love of "pushing the limit"!
My favorite memory of Ray was about 6th or 7th grade. We both realized that we loved and could quote The Wizard of Oz verbatim. We lived the movie at any moment and would break out in song or act out part of the movie at any given moment much to the nuns dismay. We were lining up single file for daily Mass and there was an old storm cellar behind the convent. Ray jumped out of line and ran over to the cellar and started kicking at it just like Dorothy does to the storm cellar in the movie when the tornado is approaching! I about died of laughter. I don't remember much about the rest of the story except that Ray got in trouble (big surprise) and I laughed silently knowing EXACTLY the scene he was recreating.
My children, who are now 19 and 20 years old, love the Wizard of Oz just as much as I do. I always told the story of Ray kicking at the storm cellar behind the convent when the part of the movie would come on the screen and my daughter was really sad to hear that Ray had died even though she never met him!
There are a ton of other memories of Ray and I and Marty Klausing and Kathy Mandich and all the rest of the gang from St. Jude's but that is my favorite Ray memory BY far! I was really sorry that we didn't stay in touch over the years. Now I am REALLY sorry that I never had a chance to meet Jim and stay at the Kirby House.
You sure made a Catholic education a lot of fun, Ray! Thanks! Love you....Your friend, Sue
Keith Brouwer
January 8th 2010
So sorry to hear of Ray's passing. My partner Oscar & I came to the Kirby house for the first time last yr for a quick few days from the big city & were greated with lots of hospitality & great food. We met some very nice people while staying there and looked forward to returning with friends in the future. Life is so precious & we never know how long God will keep us here. So enjoy each other each & everyday.
Keith & Oscar
Lesa Werme
January 8th 2010
Dear Jim,
I am so sorry to hear of this. My heart goes to you. Ray was a person who made you feel at home in his home. He will be missed and I am so glad to have crossed his path. I will be thinking of you.
Carlos Velez
January 8th 2010
Jim,
I was shocked and deeply saddened to learn of Ray's passing. My partner and I visited The Kirby House (along with another couple) for the first time last April and Ray was the first person to greet us at the door. In the short time we got to know him, it was obvious what a kind, thoughtful, and caring person he was and how much he cared about you. I was not surprised at all to learn that you 2 were together for over 20 years because the love you had for one another was obvious, even from someone who did not know you very well.
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you guys and remembering the great weekend we spent at The Kirby House.
I really wish the best for you and hope that you come to peace with Ray's passing and cherish the memories that you have of the time that you spent together.
-Carlos Velez (Chicago, IL)
Ted Durst and Mark Britt
January 8th 2010
Jim -
Please know that you and all of your and Ray's family and friends are held in our thoughts and prayers. We are shocked and deeply, deeply saddened. Know also that we hold Ray who is now in God's nearer presence in our love, thoughts and prayers.
Your home has always been a wonderful getaway for us, whether a visit in a March blizzard to celebrate our anniversary or a summer visits and time by the pool. In fact, that March anniversary weekend a few years ago was also Ray’s birthday weekend. You and Ray have always made us feel like we were coming to Michigan to visit dear friends.
Again, we are deeply saddened. Please know of our sincere and deepest sympathy and that you continue in our thoughts and prayers. If there is anything we can do to be helpful or supportive in the days ahead please do not hesitate to call on us.
Ted Durst and Mark Britt
Chicago
chrissey & erich seelye (mcduffey)
January 8th 2010
I have so many wonderful memories that I cant even pick the best one, because they are all so special.
I first met Jim and Ray right after they took over the Kirby House. From the very first time I walked through those doors, and into the warm cozy kirby house, I fell in love with these to guys Jim and Ray. They were just as warm, cozy, and welcoming as this big beautiful charming home.
It didnt take long to realize how special this place was, but more importantly how special these two guys were.
From that summer on it was the Kirby House annual vacation. Our group of friends would pack up every year and take over the Kirby House, usually about 6 to 10 of us.
We started the FANCY DRINK CONTEST that first year, and it grew every year, to the point of adding skits to present our fancy drinks. About 3 years later it was to the point of preparing our skits and drinks for months before, with practice, costume making, dialogue, music, it was quite a big event. Jim and Ray of coarse were a part of that, and I cant begin to tell the unbelievable stories and memories of spending time at the house with the boys.
Jim and Ray were so special, and such wonderful hosts, that I recall a time when there were other guests there, because we didnt fill the whole house that year, and I remember these other people had this amazing connection with them, that I thought only my friends and I had. For some reason I thought noone else was as special as our group. I came to realize that they had this special friendship with many more guest.
I guess what im trying to say is that they made every person, or groups of people feel like they were the most special guests.
We moved to California 3 years ago, so my Kirby House ays were overas far as an annual visit goes. So I havent seen the boys for awhile. I have truly missed our special times.
To this day, my husband Erich and I still tell stories of our special times there.
My love, thoughts, and prayers go out to Jim, I know these will be some hard times, but I know you are surrounded with love and support.
Much Love, Ray will be missed by more people than he will ever know.
Chrissey and Erich Seelye (Mcduffey)
paul & linda zysk
January 8th 2010
After our first stay at another b&b in the area we were not very happy with the experience. However after meeting ray the very first time we knew we had to keep returning the the kirby house and we have loved every visit. He always made you welcome and loved to share funny stories as well as his deepest thoughts. Ray will certainly be missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Jim and Ray's family at this time
Victor Glowacki
January 8th 2010
For the 8 years that Bill and I have been coming to the Kirby House, Ray's fun-loving spirit has always made our trips so special. Jim, we could always tell that Ray's love for you was so deep and abiding, through thick and thin. Your relationship was truly an inspiration for both of us. Ray was truly an extraordinary man, with such a big, generous heart. We will keep him and you in our thoughts and prayers.
Stan Henson
January 7th 2010
Dear Jim,
I was very sorry to hear about Ray's passing. I have many fond memories of the long summer weekends I spent with you and Ray at the Kirby House. I was especially impressed with Ray's "green thumb" talents. And, I admired the beautiful flowers and gardens he so carefully tended to around the grounds of the Kirby House.
Ray was truly "one of a kind", with a quick wit and a wry sense of humor, and he will be sadly missed.
Please accept my sincerest condolences.
Stan Henson
Patricia McClean
January 7th 2010
Prayers for you, your friends, and your families are ongoing as we remember your gracious hospitality and the delicious food you two prepared for my girlfirends and myself on our visits to Michigan lighthouses. We are sorry for your loss...it can not be described by any words. God is with you when sighs and sorrows are too deep for words.
Sincerely,
Patricia McClean, Sue Tedell, and my late sister Annie
Marypat Wulff
January 7th 2010
Dawn and Craig Bloomfield introduced me to the Kirby House a few summers ago and what a great time we (Dawn, Craig, Curt, Jon, John, and I ) shared with Ray and Jim...the few days were spent hanging around the pool, happy hours, shopping, breakfasts, dining out, and meeting other guests. It was just what the dr. ordered and Ray and Jim were so much fun. I hope to return to the Kirby House someday and make new memories although the ones I have of my first visit shall remain in my heart forever. Love and Peace...marypat
Mary Potts and Tim Pulice
January 7th 2010
We have been fortunate to spend time at the Kirby House every year but one since we were married in 2000. Ray and Jim have always been gracious as hosts, and as time went by, as friends, too. They even invited us to house-sit when they went on a rare vacation a few years ago, which truly was an honor and a privilege for us both. In our stays at the Kirby, Ray's wonderful breakfasts began our morning, his humorous, genuine conversation (and Jim's) kept us company by the pool as the sun drifted across the sky, and his smile in the evening -- often, after we had been out to dinner with the two of them at Everyday People Cafe or elsewhere -- was a splendid conclusion to our day. You'll remain in our hearts and minds, dear Ray.
Patrick Hendershot
January 7th 2010
It’s a quiet and snowy day here in St. Louis. My mind keeps coming back to Ray today and remembering all the wonderful times I have had at the Kirby House. This reminds me of one of my favorite trips to Saugatuck in the middle of winter. I remember how quiet and peaceful it was. The lake was frozen as far as you could see, and there was no lapping of the waves or screeching of the gulls. It was great being at the Kirby House with Jim and Ray during a “down time,” comfortable like being with your own family. I’ll miss Ray’s mischievous smile and the easy way in which he made people feel welcome. While we will certainly miss him in this lifetime, I’m thankful for God’s ultimate healing. Ray’s no longer in pain or sickness; I believe he’s in peaceful, quiet and snowy place right now watching over us all. God’s love and peace to you Jim and all your family. Patrick
David E. Laski
January 7th 2010
I had to enter a second memory. Everyone who new Ray knows how much he liked sea glass. Especially the pieces from Lake Michigan he found in and around Saugatuck and Douglas. His "Jewels of the Sea" were always a fabulous and artistic part of breakfast. The napkin rings, vases and candle holders. Two years ago, I had brought a book I had bought on Sea Glass for Ray. Jimmy saw it in the room and asked where I had gotten it. He wanted to buy one for Ray. I told him it was for Ray. Ray was so happy when I gave the book to him. Jimmy took pictures of Ray with the book. Just another memory I had to share. There are still so many more. Every time I'm on a beach and see a piece of sea glass I will think of you Ray Ray. I hope other people who read this will too when they happen upon a jewel of the sea. I miss you, love you and will always remember you.
Dave
Joanne Klausing
January 7th 2010
Ray,
I kept track of you through Marty.He always spoke highly of you and your success at the Kirby House.
I especially remember fond memories of us in Detroit and you calling me (JOSIE)
You and Jack would be watching football and Marty and I were eating or watching talk shows.
You will be missed but I am sure it's wonderful in Heaven.
God Bless you and your family.
Love, Jack and Joanne(Josie)
Jeff Wofford
January 7th 2010
Although I haven't seen Ray and Jim for many years, I always asked my friend Marty ( one of Rays dear friends ) how they were doing. I met Ray through Marty in the late 80's when he and Marty were the best of buds. Between the 2 of them, there is no way you wouldn't go home sore from laughter! I'll never forget when Ray would call someone "Girl", they way he would twist his jaw as he'd say it. I'm smiling right now just thinking of it. Oh, he was so entertaining. I'll always remember Raymond!!!!!
And Jim, though we only met briefly before you and Ray moved to Saugatuck, and I moved to Florida, my heart goes out to you..........I will keep you, and all of Rays friends and family in my prayers, for it is the survivors who suffer most. Boy, Ray will sure shake things up in Heaven.
My deepest, and heartfelt symapathy to you.
Jeff
Denise Anderson
January 7th 2010
On my most recent visit to the Kirby House in July, Ray deemed me a fellow cat lover after watching Moscow and I sit together reading by the pool. Later that evening, I was pleasantly surprised, and honored, when he introduced me to the rest of his feline family (singling out Wiley of course, as most attached to him).
Echoing the sentiments of so many others, I too always found comfort and joy in my visits to the Kirby House. It was one of my most wonderful "finds" after moving to the Midwest. The sad news was shocking and the loss unimaginable. My heart goes out to Jim and to both of their families. You will be in my prayers.
Wade W. Ellis
January 7th 2010
I am not good at expressing myself in words, it is a talent I have never had. Yet, I am compelled to try and write down some thoughts of a man I have loved more than a brother. I stayed at the Kirby House several times before Jim and Ray took over the dubious tasks of running the bed and breakfast. Although the Kirby House was a nice place to stay, that was not why it became my safe harbor home away from where I lived. It was Ray and Jim that kept me coming back time after time. It was Ray that I would spend so much time talking to about whatever issue I might be going through at that particular time. It was all that time that he spent with me on the swing on the front porch or when I would try and help out in the mornings with breakfast, even though a kitchen is foreign territory to me, that he captured my heart and soul and became the friend he is today. His love and laughter fill my life with joy and happiness every time I was with him. The Kirby House became my safe harbor where Jim and Ray accepted for who I am.
I have been devastated since I heard the news of Ray’s passing. I started thinking of the hugs I would never get from Ray again or the way he made me laugh or the kidding I would give him about something unimportant or when he would find me in the hot tub at 4 or 5 am, because neither of us could sleep. Those special scrambled eggs and cheese he would make for me every morning, even though it was a pain for him to do. But, I also realized how lucky I was to be a small part of his life and he a part of mine. How Ray in many ways Ray had made me a better person, (never a better cook though). How Ray has enriched my life and given me hundreds of memories that I will keep with me.
I love you Ray and always will and I will never let you slip from my memories,
Wade
Nancy Coleman
January 7th 2010
Dearest Jim,
The "Quaker Ladies" from Indiana/Ohio are sending you so much love and hugs. We, too, feel like we've lost a great friend. You can't imagine how much we enjoyed being with you guys just sitting on the porch or having a drink by the pool and catching up with our lives. We love you both.
I know what it was like when I lost the love of my life, so I'm sending a special wish for your strength and positive attitude. Much love,
Nancy Coleman, Pat Bogue, Ruth Ann Silvers, Carol Harris
Monika Essen
January 7th 2010
I remember my first visit to the Kirby many moons ago. My friend Dawn talked incessantly about how wonderful it was and how much she loved the guys who owned it. Well, I'm not exactly a "people person" so the thought of going to a B & B filled me with dread. However, by the end of the weekend you both made me feel like I had friends for life. Ray had the unique gift of making everyone feel special and loved.
I remember how Ray wouldn't believe that Dawn and I had husbands, so we brought them from that weekend on! And we all became part of your family.
I remember what fun we had with our "fancy drink contests" that became known around the world (well, the Saugatuck/Douglas area anyway). The funniest moment of all was when Ray just started twirling this hanger that he happened to find. We laughed until we cried. Every year we had to try and top each other. Such crazy, happy, memories. Such fun. Such good friends.
Ray's warmth, beaming smile, and generosity of spirit will be sorely missed on this Earth.
Kurt and I send our loving thoughts to you during this trying time and always,
Monika
Pam & Sam Storage
January 7th 2010
I'm not sure how to express my words or sadness that I truely feel for Ray's passing. But Jim please know that both Sam and I are truley sorry for you loss. Both YOU and Ray and the Kirby House, hold a very dear place in our hearts. We are both very eager to return to the Kirby House to show you our LOVE and support.
Annette Hines
January 7th 2010
I am sending love & light to all who are touched by the news of Rays passing. My heart is sadened. I spent two amazing days there with the love of my life back in 2004. What beautiful memories I have of both Ray and Jim. They made us feel so at home with the love, warmth and hospitality that came natural from both of them. Memories I will always cherish. Thank you for touching my heart with your loving smiling soul. Peace be to all.
With Love, Light & Oneness,
Annette Hines
Carmen Cuellar & Lisa Hanlon
January 7th 2010
Jim -
Lisa & I are so saddened to hear about Ray. You know - the Kirby House was our first Bed & Breakfast experience - and wow, how the two of you made it an experience. We will always cherish that. Also, the thoughtfulness of sending me pez dispensers - since you knew I collected them - coincidentally I actually picked it up yesterday since I'm finally doing an inventory - and thought of you both. I also remember giving Ray the chef pez.
Right now I'm sure you are surrounded by insurmountable love and attention from your friends and family - which will help you during this difficult time. It's the time after that will be harder and we will keep you in our thoughts and send you positive energy.
I remember buying one of Ray's broken glass orange tea light holders - we loved it so much. Due to a misforunate accident - it was broken - and today I wish I still had it - to remind me of Ray. However, all I have to do is remember. He will not be forgotten by any means - and neither will you.
I have had my share of medical issues - and luckily today I can say that I am fine. I often play a "what if" movie in my mind - and am grateful of my real outcome.
We live so far away - and haven't seen you in a few years - but just know that we often talk about you, Ray, the Kirby House, the amazing food, the porch swing -- ALL OF IT.
I just finished reading your entire blog and Ray's life story. What a life - especially the one he shared with you. I called Lisa on her way to work - and cried when I told her the news.
Years ago, when I lost someone very close to me - I ran across a poem by W. H. Auden - 'Funeral Blues'. Ray was your North, your South, your East and West - your working week - and your Sunday rest.....
The sun will come out again my friend -
Love,
Carmen Cuellar & Lisa Hanlon - Bartlett, IL
Nancy Maier
January 7th 2010
Jim,
I remember you telling me a story about a guy walking up and down your street who you thought was so "hot". I remember you walking up and down the same street to get his attention. It didn't take long, and soon, the two of you had eachother's attention. From there, I remember smiles, laughing, friends, partnerships, and the two of you always sharing.
My most vivid memory is visiting your home during Christmas time, and how beautifully decorated it was. You had three trees I believe, and one was "Ray's" special project. However, because the two of you were so close, the entire house was a "special project" for the two of you.
I loved the way Ray was so open and willing to accept anyone for who they were. I also loved and still will love that smile. That big, bright, happy smile.
One thing to always hang onto Jim, there are so many people who have never experienced the love, partnership, friendship, sharing and caring that you have. To have shared all of that is so, so special and yes, Ray will always be in your heart and I know you will always be in his.
My thoughts and prayers are with you always and know I am here for you - even from afar.
Love you - Nancy
Diane Richey
January 7th 2010
Jim: My thoughts, prayers and wonderful memories of Chef Ray come your way. I will always remember the smell of the kitchen and seeing Ray's smile as I entered throught the back door. The Kirby House was a labor of love for your both and you could feel that the moment you walked in. Your guests adore you and so do those of us who have had the pleasure to know you and Ray. I am so glad I know you and for the time I got to spend with you both.
Matthew Baldwin
January 7th 2010
Jim-
I'm truley shocked and saddend to hear of Ray's passing! I have the most incredible memories of the new years spent with you and Ray. The warmth and love that radiated from the two of you will stay with me forever. From my very first visit to the Kirby House, i felt not like a guest, but like a friend. His fantastic cooking, sharp humor, great conversation and that killer smile will be greatly missed.
Jim, you and Ray's family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
matt
Doug Robbins
January 7th 2010
Ray, I've always admired you.
For following your dreams (along with Jim of course) to come to Saugatuck, to buy the Kirby House, to go for what you wanted. It was so clear to me that you were exactly where you wanted to be, doing exactly what you wanted to do. That's a lucky man, if you asked me.
I have many fun memories I'll save, Ray. But I'll always remember walking through the Kirby House gardens with you in the Spring. You showing off which plants were working well, which ones weren't - and asking if I wanted any more of your "damned ferns" or "some more daffodils" for my own garden. So many of your plants have been there for generations, planted by some long-gone gardener - but still providing us with the benefits all these years later.
This Spring, when my Kirby ferns come up, and the Kirby daffodils bloom in April, I'll walk my own garden and show you what's working, what's not, and think fondly of our friendship. Safe travels, Ray.
Love,
Doug
Steve Schuster/Mike Maczka/Flemish House Chicago
January 7th 2010
Jim, both Mike and I extend our thoughts to you. We are so sorry to hear about Ray. We will always cherish those wonderful breakfasts when we were able to get away from our own B&B. Everyone lying around the pool with a hearty cocktail.
It maybe hard right now but it is true, Ray is always with you.
Take care of you thru all of this, and know we are thinking of you.
Steve and Mike
Alan W Jacques
January 7th 2010
to my Cousin Ray, Jim and family;
I am deeply saddened at the news of your passing. My heart is heavy and my thoughts and prayers go out to all my cousins and their families, your life partnerJim and to all who had the special pleasure of knowing you. Our special connection was Drum Corps and I knew that you understood the commitment to perfection and sacrifice it took to achieve it. I was thrilled that you enjoyed it as much as I did! It has been a long time since our early childhoods, but I still remember all the fun and special times we shared at the cottage with brother Scott and my brother Keith. Remember the times we would be running throught the cottage two steps ahead of Mimi and her wooden spoon. Remember laughing and unable to go to sleep because we were all keyed up on candy and sodas. I will always remember your smile and how it lit up the room. I will miss you and look forward to joining you in heaven. Till then, pray for us so that we may finish our race strong and join you at the feet of the savior.
All my Love,
Your Cousin Alan
ralph fasano
January 7th 2010
I had the pleasure of working with Ray at the Ritz Carlton hotel. They hired him, because he was a real waiter, and I think they just liked my look. They would give him all the VIP tables, because he was so good. He would always laugh because I said I wasn't as good as him because "this is not my career choice". He would always laugh, because it was true, and it was his career...he was great.
There were four of us who would hang out and always be getting in trouble. When Ray and I would talk we always laughed about the time he got in trouble when he waited on the CEO of the Ritz. While talking their order, he bumped into someone at the table and said excuse me in French. Two minutes later, he was called into the private dinning room and was firmly told.....We are not in France and you are not French. Speak English. He came out of that room like they told him he stole the hotel money. After the shock wore off...we all laughed and kept laughing about it for years.
He had so much class and knew his stuff. I can remember two or three times of having the best bottle of wines that I have ever tasted with him...you only drank the best bottles of wine with him.
Ray bought me one of my first Christmas orniments....A nut cracker. I know that I told him how I take it out every year...that thing must be about 25 years old. It's so special to me....a matter of fact right after Christmas this year I was remebering Ray and when he gave it to me, as a put it away.
God bless you...I miss you already. Hey when you see Mike our other work mate from the Ritz up there...don't get into to much trouble...and tell him I think about him too. Also tell him, I still think he's an ass for getting us all in trouble for not completeing our tables....you know what I mean. Love you. Ralph
KEITH & KAY JACQUES
January 7th 2010
Cousin Ray,
I will remember the good times we had as kids growing up
in Michigan. The times at Harsens Island swimming in the
canal and walking to upmals to bye candy. Also the time
our furnace went out and mom sent Al and I to stay at
your house with you and Scotty (what a couple of fun days we had). You will always be special to our family. I will request a Mass at our church in your name.
Love your cousin
Keith
Renee andJoe Caro
January 6th 2010
From: Renée
Jim-Bo I wanted to reach out to you so many times this week. You are constantly in my thoughts and I know you are so overwhelmed.
Please know Joe and I loved Ray. He was a wonderful man and such a joy to be around. So we would like to celebrate his life, as he would want us to!
I can remember back over the last ten years to when we first met you and Ray. It was at a Valentine's Day Progressive Dinner in Saugatuck. The Kirby House was hosting one of the courses. The first time I met you and Ray you were wearing matching Chef and Waiter outfits...I thought how cute are these guys and what a gorgeous house and you were both so warm and friendly. I told Ray how cute he looked and he said, don't call me cute...call me handsome! That was Ray!
This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
We started attending many of Ray's Special Dinner Weekends at the Kirby House, seven Dickens Christmas Dinner’s, three Last Dinner on the Titanic, one Taste of Spain Dinner, and last but not least one Cooking Class Weekend. Oh my, that Cooking Class...oh boy...Ray begged me NOT to do another one. Ray teased me about my cooking skills or should I say lack of cooking skills. We always had a good laugh about it whenever the subject came up.
The four of us also enjoyed many dinners together at Everyday People Cafe (one of Ray and Jim's favorite restaurants).
It was always exciting to see the Kirby House at Christmas time. Ray always decorated both Christmas trees to perfection...every ornament carefully placed...it would take a week. He was so proud of his purple Christmas tree. He loved showing off his Christmas Village, all the decorations were so beautiful. Ray worked so hard to make it special every year and it always was.
Ray also was a talented artist. He made the most beautiful vases, candlesticks, and napkin rings using sea glass collected from the Lake Michigan shore. I bought 13 pieces. He made several especially for me. I will always treasure them.
We enjoyed bringing family and friends with us to the Kirby House. Ray and Jim always made us feel welcome...like it was our house too.
What can I say about Ray's cooking...he was the best...the food was always spectacular!!
I enjoyed Ray's vibrant personality and sense of humor the best. I acted like a bit of a mother hen to him and Jim and Ray always teased me about it. Ray paid me a high compliment saying I was just like a sister. I was very touched.
Ray did not just walk in to a room…he made an entrance...he glided on air!
Ray touched so many lives...the rest of us...we are all the better for having known him!
Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendour in the grass, Of glory in the flower, We will grieve not, Rather find strength in what remains behind. - William Wordsworth
Marty Klausing
January 6th 2010
My Dearest Raymond, my best friend, my party girl, my everything. So many memories, such a short time. You have always been my best friend and always will be..From my heart to your family, I love you all. I will truly miss making new memories, but will forever treasure the memories we have made and shared. I love you all, God Bless you Raymond, Rest in Peace. Thank you for sharing the wealth of who you were..
All my Love,
Marty
Jeff Davison & Anthony Marsalese
January 6th 2010
Your smile, your incredibly warm welcome and more than anything your friendship will always be remembered and incredibly missed. Anthony and I have so many fun and meaningful memories, it's hard to pick any particular one. I think simply the way you made us feel when we walked into your home stands out. That smile and unconditional love is something we will never be lucky enough to see or feel from anyone again. I know you are in a beautiful place making others feel like you made us feel. Our loss is truly their blessing. I really don't believe we won't see you again...that is if we behave...I am looking forward to it and will never forget how you made us feel.
Love you, and don't worry, we'll look after your beloved, Jim.
Miss you until the day we see each other again.
Love, Jeff and Anthony
Bill Scroeder and Larry Stine
January 6th 2010
All you have to do is look at Ray's smile, and it says sooooo much. He was a man who loved life, loved the Kirby House and above all loved Jim and the life that they shared. Larry and I were fortunate enough to spend several summer days at Kirby House. The house was beautiful, the surrounding town/village were fun and unique BUT what made our favorite "getaway" from the hustle/bustle of Toledo were Ray and Jim.......always so congenial, always so welcoming. brunches that were always uncomparible and a feeling of really being welcomed....... We always looked forward to the late afternoons when Ray woud come out with his "drink of choice" and do a cannon ball in to the pool......he had arrived, and the party always seemed allmost complete, unti Jim arrived soon after.
Jim and family Ray will always remain a very special individual to us, and will never be forgotten.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you, we feel your loss soooo much, but are relieved, as I'm sure you are that Ray's at peace, and will always look down on you as you look up to him in memory.
God Bless you all.
Fondly,
Bill and Larry
Joanne McClure
January 6th 2010
I worked with Raymond years ago in a restaurant, Piper's Alley, in Grosse Pointe Farms, Michigan. Raymond was a superb, superb busboy!!!! He took his work seriously and made bussing a noble profession, he was that good! I was a waitress there, and I was so happy when Raymond worked because he was so diligent with taking care of customers. He was so friendly, always with a broad smile on his face! Everyone who knew Raymond, liked and loved him, and I was one of those people. He made eveyone's job at that restaurant easier, always striving for perfection. I can still see him smiling and laughing, and it was a good 30 years ago. Raymond was a great man among men. I will never, ever forget him, he was so kind and nice, and a true friend. May the Lord bless and keep him close.
Much love, Raymond!!!!
Toni Breeden
January 6th 2010
I have visited the Kirby House three times and although I would not consider myself a close friend of Ray's, to hear of his death is a terrible shock. Having just participated in Nov '09's Cooking Class weekend and seeing how fun and "himself" Ray was, it has come as even a bigger shock! Jim and Ray were such great hosts when my husband and I visited intially that I've brought family members back. The two of you are so welcoming and relaxing that it just makes The Kirby House a "we have to go back" kind of place! Anyone who mentioned a desire to get away for a weekend would have to suffer through my insistent suggestion that they visit you guys. Jim, I cannot imagine the enormous void that you must be feeling right now and wish you all the best as you try and make it through this life-altering blow. From what I saw of him, Ray was not only an exceptional chef but also a fantastic person and we definitely will miss seeing him on our next visit to the Kirby House. I speak for my mom, Marla, sister, Kari and husband, Shawn in saying that you are in our prayers!
Terri Jacques
January 6th 2010
I was rocked by the news of Raymonds passing, My heart goes out to my cousins. All though Raymond and I had lost touch over these may years. All of the funn and great memories came flooding back in a rush every time I looked through my photos I have kept all these years, and I have shared some of these with friends. Vanguards,the parties the dinners the marching around up and down the block at the State Fair house. But my fondest memorie was the trip we took with Your Mom & Dad and my Mom To New Orleans in the mid 70's All the K.O.A. camp grounds we hit with the pop up trailer.And endless hours of riding in the back seat
of the Green Ford Galaxy. I will miss him always, Only wish I could come back there for the funeral. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Love
Terri
Jim Koeppen
January 6th 2010
To my good friend Jim, I can’t explain the emotional rollercoaster ride I’ve been on since yesterday afternoon hearing about Ray’s passing. I’m so sorry for your loss and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it’s been a few months since we have seen each other but I know when we do it will be like we just saw each other the day before. It’s always been like that and will always be. I guess that is what makes good friends. So many memories, I remember the 1st time you met Ray and you and I went for a walk by his house in Detroit, (ok, yes we were stockers) LOL…..I could tell you really liked him and I was so happy for you both. Ray told me a couple of weeks after the two of you met that he really was falling in love with you, he really loved your passion for your family, friends, music, cars and your job. Another memory is your Royal Oak house, the parties and the strange voice outside asking if you wanted biggie fries with your order…then your move to the Kirby House, the pool parties, cha-cha heels and the fantastic breakfast meals made by Ray. Most importantly I will always remember Rays smile, hearty laugh, and the way he would look at you when you were talking. The wonderful thing is that 20 years later and I could still see and feel the love he had for you, it was like the 1st time he told me he was falling in love with you. I hope you realized that buddy. Love, Jim
Phyllis Perry
January 6th 2010
About 3 years ago, I and some friends stayed at the Kirby House and Jim and Ray couldn't've been more hospitable.
I talked to Ray, at length, about Detroit, how it's changed over the years, growing up on the east side, near Grosse Pointe, attending Denby High, the Vernors Factory on Jefferson, Hudson's downtown, Belle Isle, and much more.
Ray was so friendly and congenial. I'm so sorry to hear of his passing. He will be deeply missed by Jim and all of us. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Jim, and with Ray's family and friends. I'll be back to visit. Thank you.
marianne Perjes
January 6th 2010
For my cousins Jim and I are deepley saddened for your loss. We will remember him for his sense of humor, for his patience with jackie deanne and terri in barking out his orders while practicing drum corp. And for his great wizard of oz collection. We love you and will miss you.
Marianne and Jim Perjes
Lorraine Pohl
January 6th 2010
I spent a wonderful snowy February weekend at the Kirby House at a cooking class and met Jim and Ray for the first time. They were the ultimate hosts. \
I was deeply saddened to hear of Ray's passing.
Thoughts and prayers are with Jim and family during this very difficult time.
Heidi Jean
January 6th 2010
I offer my sincerest condolences to Jim & all of Ray's loved ones. I had the opportunity to meet both Ray & Jim last winter when I surprised my partner, Bonnie, with a birthday weekend at the Kirby House. Both gentlemen were very kind & welcoming. I remember upon meeting Ray, he had a smile that could light up a room! Though my memories are few, clearly he was a truly genuine & special person who was loved by many.
Tony Estevez
January 6th 2010
Aside from that beautiful Cheshire cat smile, I have many, many wonderful memories of Ramon, but one simple, understated moment that has always stayed in my heart.
At one of the boys' many fab pool parties after Ray cooked his tail off, he went to a remote corner off the deck with no one around and sat down at the table all by himself with his plate.
As he dug into his meal, a glow of satisfaction and self-content came across his face. A look of happiness, ease and absolute enjoyment. He was at peace.
And that's how and ever more, will I always remember him - with good food, great friends and finally...at peace.
Toni and Paul Bondurant
January 6th 2010
We are shocked and terribly sad about Ray's death. I am looking at these pictures and remember an incredibly vibrant person. It's unbelievable. Our sincerest condolences to Jim and Ray's family.
What a have had so many great memories while at the Kirby House, it's difficult to pick one, so I won't. But we will always remember how gracious, welcoming and happy he was.
Dave and Julie DuVall
January 6th 2010
We will never forget Ray's great hospitality and his wonderful sense of humor and most of all that terrific smile!!! He was such a wonderful chef!!! He will be in our hearts forever...
Rick Pesta
January 6th 2010
Jim,
I never met you, and I haven't seen Raymond since he was a little boy down the block on State Fair and Boulder. Today, I read of his death in a posting on Facebook. I was directed to this website and I read the touching story of his beautiful life. Then I went to your website and read your loving web-log. I offer my sincere condolences and sympathy to you and to all of Raymond's loved ones.
-Rick Pesta
John Beliles
January 6th 2010
I have so many emotions running through me right now afterjust learning of Ray's passing. I will just say how thankful I am to have met Ray (and Jim) and the expereince of the Kirby house. I am so sad and stunned. I have spent the last ten years there, sometimes more than one visit a year. Ray had such a good spirit & soul and, with Jim, made the Kirby house a home away from home. As someone told me when my Mom passed at age 53 of a heart attack, "God picks the prettiest flowers first" That sure holds true in this case. My prayers are with you Jim and all
of Rays family and freinds! Now, I guess I need to go get some Sky and celebrate Ray's life!
Kyle R. Morehead
January 6th 2010
What a wonderful place the Kirby House has been to me trough the summers. So many laughs, memories and great times. I remember my first visit to The Kirby House, my partne David had been telling me about this place for months before he brought me there to experience it myself. We stayed in anne bolyne and i loved the view over the pool with the reflection of the tree tops into the water. The balcony was so relaxing. David introduced me to Jim and Ray that summer and i understood why he was so attached to this magical place of love and laughter. It wasnt two minutes until i started calling the place "home" when i first visited. I knew how much effort Jim and Ray had put into making everyone feel warm and welcome. One summer during on Labor Day when most guests were checking out and they had been doing thier chores around the house, i thought "how can i do something for these wonderful guys who have opened thier home to me so many times?" so, I asked my partner David if we could make them dinner. It was the end of thier busy season and all i wanted was for them to relax and be catered to the way they have for so many through the summer months. I really enjoyed making the last BBQ of that summer and having included Jim and Ray. Ray i will miss you so. You have made summer so wonderful for so many over the years. Thank you!
Barbara St.John
January 6th 2010
For those that Ray left behind you are in my thoughts and prayers. He was a wonderful person and I am sure will be missed. I used to work with Ray at Tribute and the whole room would light up when he came in he was a very gifted person.
Barbara
Juliet Michele
January 6th 2010
The two summers I spent working with Ray & Jim at the Kirby house were filled with laughter, music, coctails and time spent by the pool. I remember countless summer afternoons preparing breakfast dishes with Ray in the kitchen, watching Dolores Claiborne, IT, Carrie or any number of bad made for TV horror movies. Ray had the best evil laugh, and would always oblige my requests that he do his evil laugh during the scary scenes. I always loved that Ray would play his drum core CD in the kitchen at full volume when the house was emply. With Jim & Ray everything was more fun, they were always up for a game of big ball (although Ray was usually a bit more competitive than the rest of us).
I will always think of Ray sitting on the porch swing talking lovingly about his mom, sisters, friends, and Jim. Ray wore his heart on his sleeve, he loved to talk about how much he loved the people who shared his life.
Karlene Holleman
January 6th 2010
Dearest Jim,
I wrote a memory yesterday, but I guess it didn't get saved
so here goes another one!
I don't know how long my best friend, Margo and I have been friends with Ray and you, but it all began when I discovered the Kirby House on the internet, called Margo and said: "Don't say no!" Since that time, we have visited the Kirby House several times and became very good friends with both you and Ray. The cooking classes were
delightful, even tho' Ray often accused me of being too aggressive. Some of our best memories were the cooking classes, Mike & Julie's shower at my house & probably the apex was the "Little House Steak Fry" at the Kirby House last September. We've done our best to recommend the Kirby House to all our friends. It was also very special that Margo and I stayed that Sunday and "hung out" with you & Ray.
A week ago Monday, Margo & I went to GR for my aunt's funeral and then had the privilege of staying with Ray & Jim that evening. Little had we known that that would be the last time we would see Ray.
Jim, our thoughts & prayers are with you. You will face some very difficult days and have to make some very difficult decisions. You will need God's hand and grace to guide you.
I will talk to you shortly regarding the "Fondue Party" next weekend. We want you to come.
Give my sympathy to Ray's family and my regards to your family members.
Love,
Karlene Holleman
Margo Wories
January 6th 2010
It's hard to think of this as a memory - Ray is still very much alive to me - I hear his voice and see him constantly. I remember a phone call from Karlene many years ago that began, "Now don't say no. There is a B&B in Douglas that is having a cooking weekend and I think we should go." I thought to myself, "Another one of Karlene's cockamamie ideas!" That weekend we had to pass thu Douglas on our way to Holland and pulled into the parking lot of the Kirby House on a glorious fall day. I was smitten. When Jim answered the door and Ray was puttering in the backgrond, I was hooked. As the song says, the two of you "had me from hello". A wonderful and rich friendship was born filled with many great times together. I think my favorite is the evening Jim, Ray, Karlene and I ordered a pizza and hung out, watching a movie (can't remember the name) and laughing our @$$es off!
Jim, I haven't called this week because you have so much going on right now. My phone calls will come next week when lonliness fills the Kirby House. In the meantime, please know that you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers for God's grace and strength to carry you thru this terrible time.
Love you. Mean it. Margo
Jane Walsh
January 6th 2010
Dear Jim,
I am shocked and sad to hear of Ray's recent illness and passing.
I have such wonderful memories of you & Ray as my first "next-door neigbors" on Amity. I remember your excitement when you both decided to "take the plunge" and quit your jobs to start the Kirby. Ray was so passionate and such a shining light. I can't imagine how deep of a loss this is for you.
When I look at his picture and think of my memories of knowing him I am sure his light will shine brightly on you and warm you in the days and years ahead.
You, Ray and his family and friends are in my prayers and thoughts.
Love,
Jane
Jackie Jacques Shapiro
January 6th 2010
To all my cousins I just want to say how deeply sadden and very sorry for your loss of a great brother, and at my loss of a great cousin. though we didnot see each other for several years but when we did it was like old times and our sharing our drum corp years stories and laughing at just how much we all still could remember of all our many trips and all the drum corp house drama. i loved you very much and will miss you raymond my funny and dear sweet cousin
David E. Laski
January 6th 2010
Where can I begin? It started about 13 summers ago when Ray and Jim first bought the Kirby House. I've honestly lost count the number of times I've stayed with them. Summer is not Summer without a visit to Saugatuck/Douglas and the Kirby House. The Kirby House is a grand old home, but Ray and Jim were the heart and soul that brought it to life. This past September I visited with my parents. It was their first time and the last time I would see Ray before he became ill . We sat on the back deck with Ray and just talked. It was a beautiful warm sunny fall day. This afternoon will remain my fondest memory of Ray. Jim later joined us on the front porch and again we talked and reminisced over cocktails. Ray and I discovered we both went to the same high school! Jim went inside and brought out "our" year book. Small world! Further conversation revealed we lived only two blocks away from each other in the old neighborhood. My parents fell in love with both of them and understood why Kirby House was so special to me and my friends. One night I came in after 8am from an all night party in Douglas and Ray just put a finger over his mouth in a ssssh! , smiled and continued to make breakfast. Any breakfast request of mine was ALWAYS on the breakfast buffet. One time I forgot to send him my requests and HE was disappointed!!! He always made EVERYONE feel welcome and special in their home. The friends I brought there have returned year after year. The third week of July has become a tradition (well almost a cult!) This weekend at Kirby revolves around the Dunes Christmas in July "Tea Dance". I have so many fond memories of Ray to list them all. Anyone who has met him will know what I mean. I learned of Rays illness in an Email from Jim. I followed the blog religiously. I spoke with Ray on the phone while he was in the hospital. My work schedule at Christmas did not allow a personal visit. I planned a visit after new years. I called and asked if Ray was up to company. Jimmy said he was. This past Sunday I drove up. I brought Ray a bright yellow flower arrangement to cheer him. In the arrangement I had stuck mini airline size Sky vodkas as if they too were flowers. Again anyone who knew Ray would know why! When I arrived Ray wasn't feeling his best and told Jim he would see me tomorrow. I asked Jim if he would like to join us for dinner and if Ray would mind. I wanted to treat Jim to a little get away for about an hour from the stress he's been under lately. Ray said for Jim to go and enjoy himself. While we were at dinner fate intervened in a strange and life altering way. Ray was gone. Words can not describe what I feel. I can only hope Ray knows how important he was and loved by myself and anyone whos life he touched. Rest in peace my dear Ray-Ray. I love you, miss you and will NEVER forget you! Dave
Amy Squiers
April 19th 2013
How very sad to learn that Ray is no longer with us in the physical world. I stayed at the Kirby House several years ago and was looking into booking another stay in the near future. I had such a fabulous time at the Kirby House under the incredible hosting of Ray & Jim. So sorry to hear of the loss. My thoughts & prayers are with Jim. I wish you happiness & success in your future endeavors. Please know that you made so many happy memories for so many people who encountered you & your love. God bless & take care!
Amy
Tony & Kelly
March 6th 2013
We stopped to wish a (belated) happy birthday wish to our dear and much missed Ray.
Still hard to believe...and understand his absence.
Mimi C. Mazzara
August 8th 2012
I was so sorry to hear of Ray's passing...We met while on a Princess cruise a few years ago, I was traveling with my brother Fred and friends Randy anf Kevin (from CA) we were to get together for drinks the last night of the cruise and I came down with a deadful flu and couldn't come. I've talked a bout coming to Kirby House ever since and am planning to come this month is something is available. I will surely miss seeing Ray.
Mimi Kim
July 11th 2012
I'm so sorry to hear about Raymond's passing. I was looking to book another weekend at the website and saw this link. I stayed at Kirby House years ago and had such a lovely time. It was my first trip to Saugatuck. I'm a native of Detroit and grew up down the street from the amazing restaurant Tribute, where he worked. I'm a passionate foodie and remember exchanging recipes with him. I still remember a wonderful coffee cake and these insane turkey breakfast enchiladas. He was a wonderful, cheerful and welcoming person. My condolences to his partner Jim and his family.
Susie RikerHayne
May 24th 2012
Raymond...........
Here it is Spring of 2012 and still forget at times, that I cannot call you about a garden question. Just a couple days ago I thought I need to call...............
I was at the beautiful Kirby just a couple weeks ago. Stayed up on the 3rd floor ...in the 'BlueJean' room. My name for #10
It was a wonderful visit , yet bittersweet. I miss you so.
Jimmy is doing a wonderful job keeping the Kirby House looking good, constantly sprucing up with some new item. He does still love to shop, yet is good at it and The Kirby continues to just keep stylin'. Our Sister, Marguerite helps quite a bit too, with her deep cleaning and garden work. The busy season is about to start and she will be there full time. Her and Jimmy do all the cooking. Together they shine. She lives so close and easy to zip on over. She has a really cute place , a carriage house over garage in Saugatuck. She has view of the Kalamazoo River.
Well I best go........just been thinking about you a lot and never did write during our birthday month.....Last call I had from you on my birthday, I had turned 59 and at end of call, you reminded me that our Mother only made it until then. I am now 62 and doing really well.
Love you............Susie xxoo
Bonnie Meek
May 23rd 2012
Oh my gosh I was shocked to read about Ray! I have not visited the Kirby House since approx. 2005 and was just researching the B&B's in Saugatuck and came across the Kirby House. We frequented there at least twice a year and Ray and Jim were terrific hosts. I remember Ray's cooking classes...he was a terrific chef. We always knew that our gourmet breakfasts would be an absolute treat. We were sure to get downstairs on time for this special feast! He was a special part of the drawing card that brought us to the inn. Him and Jim were a terrific couple and there love was a love you would look up to. Thank you for all the beautiful memories and down to earth congeniality. Ray will be a fond memory in our lives forever.
Bonnie Meek
Kathleen Riker-Dinkel
March 3rd 2012
My dear little brother Raymond. Yesterday would have been your 53rd birthday, still so young especially to me being 13 and 1/2 years older. It's hard to believe it's been over two years since you left us. You had lots of birthday wishes on facebook. and to think we would have been facebook friends too since I'm now on. I think of you so often and love to look through the box of memorabilia you mailed to me the day before your surgery. I remember when you were in the hospital we would be talking on the phone and you would ask if it arrived yet and did I open it yet. It contained special memories, letters, notes, etc. One I really cherish, a letter from Katie Gorski to mom when she was having one of her "bad times" and was in the hospital. I shared it with Susie when she was here two weekends ago as it mentioned how I had taken you to their house for a show she and Elaine had put on in Gorski's basement and how you really liked it and the popsickles they made. I guess you must have been about 2. Also the letter (your last) to me and a note on Betty Davis stationary and a cute comment about mom.
I loved reading the note written by Lauri Farmer Tuscano just before this one. It was wonderful reading about your special friendship and things you did. Reading memories from your friends are special, as I was married when you were so little and didn't know about many of these things.
Well, I miss you so much, but have so many wonderful memories of you, always smiling, and that helps. I love you Raymond.
Your loving sister,
Kathleen
Lauri Farmer Toscano
February 6th 2012
I knew of Ray's passing but only recently found out about this memory page. I grew up kitty-corner from the Rikers on State Fair. There were no girls my age on the block so most of my early childhood memories are of playing with my friend "RayRay", he was a year younger than me but that didn't matter. We played for hours in the big sandbox in his yard or had sleep outs in a tent in his yard or ours but first we would have to go to the party store on Kelly and buy a quarter's worth of penny candy. We'd go around the block to see if "johhny & Joey" were out and when they'd see us we'd go running down the street screaming, I still can't figure out why we did that, but we did. And who can forget the Releaseo games on the front lawns!
I hadn't seen RayRay since I moved from MI in 1978 but you never forget one of your first friends and besides who else could have done cartwheels off the porch and all the way down the steet without missing a beat.
To all the Rikers, I'm so sorry for your loss, our family's have shared many things over the years including the loss of a sibling. RayRay was very special and will always have a place in my heart.
To Jim, I 'm also sorry for your loss and that I never got to go to The Kirby to meet you and spend time with you and RayRay, from all the memories that I have read it sounds like it was very special.
RIP RayRay
Pam Johnson and Dimitria Vandarakis
May 20th 2011
As summertime rolls around again we think about finding a weekend to spend at the Kirby house and of course, we think of you and Jim. I wish you would be there this summer to give me your big hug like you always did and greet us with your wide, open smile! I know that you are shining your light into all our lives from where you are. We miss you Ray and look forward to spending some time with Jim, hanging out with Moscow and floating in the pool on a warm sun shiny day...... love u. Pam
Sister Susie
March 11th 2011
Hello Brother...........
Well tomorrow if my birthday and if all goes as planned, I will be 1yr older...............61 WOW
Had dinner with my friend Edel last night
We had a toast for my birthday , for you and for her late husband, Terry who would have been 76 on Monday.
He passed away this past year also. HIs plane went down in rugged terrain up in the Canadian NW Terriotory
Sunny is home and we are going to go out for dinner tomorrow night and Bday dinner at in-laws on Sunday.
Best part..........gifts
I am hoping to head to Michigan next week and spend a bit of time at your Kirby House...sure wish you were there.
Miss you ever so much
Happy Birthday to US...... Love Susie xxoo
your one and only Pisces Sister :}
Susie RikerHayne
March 2nd 2011
Raymond
Here it is another year we will not celebrate our bdays together. I have really been missing you my sweet, sweet baby brother.
Happy Birthday , Happy Birthday Happy Birthday to you.
tra la la .........tra la la "52"
Marguerite is bringing a bouquet of silk flowers from the two of us, for you on your special day. I helped her pick them out over the phone. She at Hobby Lobby and me here in Colorado at my desk............
I will be there near the end of the month and we will then visit you at your spot add a sprig or two .
Love You Forever
Susie -your Pisces sister xxoo
Lucianne & Bill DeMarco
February 2nd 2011
I'm so sad to hear about the loss of Ray. I doubt that you would remember us, we were the couple with the 1 year baby girl that came in the summer of '98. Although we were not the typical couple at your B&B, you hosted us with such warmth and friendship and made us and our baby feel so welcome. I remember all of us (baby Madi too) in the pool just floating around and enjoying the summer sun. I still talk about your amazing blueberry pancakes...so yummy!
And although it has been awhile since we've been back I just wanted to say how sorry we are for your loss and hope the days ahead will get easier.
Fondly...
Lucianne
Jimmy
January 9th 2011
Ray, I put my name as "Jimmy" as you used to call me. I miss you so much. A year ago today I buried you. No one can ever understand what it is like to bury a spouse unless you've done it. At the same time, it is so nice to know where you are (your earthly body) and go and talk to you. I miss you so much. I love you forever....Jimmy
January 4th 2011
god i miss you sooooooooooo much Ray! Will never forget you! Steven Watt
Megg and Ray Howland
November 12th 2010
Ray!!!!
Ray and I are in absolute SHOCK!!! Craving your yummy blueberry crapes and warm smile, we were just looking up the Kirby on-line thinking that maybe we could take a little trip for the winter since it has been years since our last visit. We are so very saddend by the news of your passing. You made going to the kirby something to look forward to. We used to visit every year for our anniversary and then times got tough and we had to tighten the purse strings and skip our anniversary trip. We will forever regret that decision. Ray and I cannot even imagine the Kirby without you there greeting us and making us feel so at ease and welcome. I will forever regret not purchasing one of your glass works of art as well. I guess I just took you for granted and thought you would always be there waiting to greet us. Thank you for making our times at the kirby so very special. Ray and I have not been to any other Bed and Breakfast since our last trip to the Kirby, that is how very special you made it for us. Next time I am in my garden trimming the roses or walking down the beach looking for sea glass you can be sure that I will be thinking of you.
Thanx for the memories Ray,
Heidi Aldama
November 2nd 2010
I just read the news and am so saddened. I will always cherish the times I spent at the Kirby House and "chef Raymon" making the best breakfasts ever. I still to this day make the sticky bun recipe every Christmas Eve morning for my family. I still have all the beautiful glass candle holders and vases that Ray made. I loved how he would go to the beach every morning looking for glass to use for his glass work. Jim, my heart goes out to you. I'll never forget how we would laugh about being German and what a blessing/curse it is. It has been many years since I have been there (nine to be exact - since I had my children) but I remember all the great times like it was yesterday.
Sincerely,
Heidi Aldama
Lara Gillentine
September 12th 2010
I am so saddened by this news. I first visited the Kirby House in May of 2009. Ray listened to my story about an old cookbook my grandma had given me. I didn't know the name of it because it was so old and torn up. He walked into the kitchen and came out with the exact cookbook I was talking about. His mom had given it to him. It was such a sweet moment for me. It was the weekend you guys got your new car. Ray was so excited about it. Jim, I can only imagine your pain. Know that Ray holds you in his heart always.
Jim Gowran
September 5th 2010
My first summer without you. It is over. I feel sick without you here. We loved when Labor Day came. It meant we made it through another summer. The slower and easier days were ahead. More time to share with each other. I will miss that this fall. Miss it terribly. Come home Ray, I miss you!
Love,
Jimmy
your sister Susie
August 12th 2010
Raymond
I miss you so much, as so many of us do.
I miss our chats during the spring/summer months about our gardens. Mine are so lush this year. I have sent out many a photo via email to everyone. Wish I could sent to you too.
Years ago, back in Royal Oak, you gave me a couple small Obedience Plants......at the time telling me that they are not at obedinent and do spread. Be careful. They have
They are gorgeous with the with the cutest little faces.
I bring them in to work in vases often. I have transplanted several/given several away and just pulled them out and tossed. I am sure you did the same.
The purple Phlox you gave me back then also are so beautiful. I cut them and add to many a vase with so many to look at all the time. Thanks for those two plants
It helps to know that I did not buy them and what I did plant and transplant so many years ago, from you, is thriving in my gardens. I love you
Susie
I bet you are in the biggest most beautful gardens ever
Susie RikerHayne
March 2nd 2010
My Dear Sweet Raymond
What a sad day today was not being able to call you on your special day. Happy Birthday tra la la
I brought in Kirby coffee to the office to share with friends Several of us toasted you
Tonight I will have some wine and make a specail toast.
No vodka during the week......it is Lent.
I do have a few rules yet been good.
I hope you are well and happy. We sure miss you.
I know some day we will all be together.
We will once again celebrate our Pisces birthdays.
I am going to make it to 60 -8day to go and look 50
Love you Raymomd La Kook
Your favorite Pisces Sister Susie -the Potchair Kid xxoo
Keith & Sue Charak
February 13th 2010
I would love when I'd run into Ray after having a few (at least I ahd a few) and we'd start saying, "your the best, I love ya man". Ray..Your the best, I love ya man...Keith
Keith & Sue Charak
February 13th 2010
My cute memory of Ray is that we'd get to VS Flowers at the same time and have this faux flower war going on, "I'm going to get all the best red alstroemeria", we'd laugh and tell a few quick stories about what was happening at our respective B & B's. Your presence is missed Ray, the world is a better place because of you.
Rob Scott - Chicago, IL
January 21st 2010
Jim, before I begin, I wanted to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones. I understand the pain of losing a loved one. Yet, I can’t imagine your loss. It is easy to say where is God during times of suffering? If you want to know where God is then look around at the outpouring of Love. God is Love. Let go and let yourself fall into the arms of this Love. May God comfort you as you continue on your journey and may you one day find healing.
I remember my first visit with my partner and his close friends to Kirby House. We left Chicago in an ice storm and traveled several hours after a hectic work week in December.
We arrived around midnight. I remember walking in through the front door with the holiday decorations and dimmed lighting in the front parlor and the smell of home cooking that still lingered in the air. It felt amazing. We all sat around the fire laughing and telling stories into the night. The best was yet to come.
I awoke in the morning with the smell of coffee and breakfast in the air. I went downstairs in my bathrobe hoping I didn’t offend the other guests. I saw Ray cooking away instantly putting everyone at ease and making them feel at home. I could tell he was in his element because he loved what he was doing. Most people spend a lifetime looking for their passion. Ray was living his dream and inviting us in to share the joy.
Later that morning, the dining room filled with people from different parts of the country. In my heart I felt home. The breakfast was outstanding and I could hear Ray secretly laughing to our stories with you in the kitchen.
My partner and I returned to Kirby House several times. After we broke up and his friends left with him, I returned to Kirby house alone and wounded. Ray would stay up and talk with me about my ended relationship and give me encouragement. I can still hear his laugh and see his smile. I spoke to him in depth asking how he made his dream a reality. I was listening attentively for a clue to find and live my own passion.
I will always remember Thanksgiving 2008. Ray greeted me upon arrival after a long drive from Chicago and said, “Welcome home.” His words stay with me, as do those of Mary Baker Eddy, “Home is the dearest spot on Earth and should be the center – though not the boundary – of the affections.”
The house soon filled up with last minute guests who were mostly single, looking to get away, going through breakups, having significant others who just entered rehab, or having no family of their own.
Before dinner Ray had us each go around the table and share something we were grateful for. My response, “Being in the moment with everyone at Kirby house, eating one of the best cooked turkeys and a sense of home at a time in my life when I needed it most.”
Seasons change. Summer drinks by the pool, sitting out on the wrap around porch watching the colorful leaves, or talking in front of the glow of a warm fire as the snow fell gently outside. Whatever the season, we would all gather in the Jacuzzi under the stars. The one constant through all this was Ray’s love for you, Jim, Kirby house, and the many guests who were lucky enough to have discovered it.
Jim, you will always be connected to Ray – through Love.
Truth, Wisdom, Love, and Sincerity,
Rob Scott
Chicago, IL
Scott Riker/Brother
January 19th 2010
I have all great memories of Raymond,from our childhood days filled with fun iceskating through the canals on Harsens island,sledding at balduck hill or swimming and fishing in the summertime,or our family trips to Boblo island amusement park.And as we were growing up how proud I was to have Raymond be my best man ot our wedding.To be Godfather to our first child,Ray would come over on Sundays to play with Michelle and Scotty and we would watch football games together. We also worked together in several restaurants/kitchens where we both enjoyed learning from each other,and using the talents we learned from mom and dad. After our parents passed away our family stayed close together,Ray held some of the holiday dinners at our house on statefair where we grew up and when he moved to Royal Oak and to the Kirby House they hosted them there as well.We all really enjoyed those special get-togethers we will now cherish those times fore ver.I am very proud of Ray and Jims accomplishments since purchasing the Bed@Breakfast,and hope to see their dream continue to go on.We Raymonds family will give Jim all the help and support we can. Love you forever Raymond...your brother Scott.
January 19th 2010
Jim,
No need to share thoughts on a web page. Some hurts are too great to give others a venue. I (we) have shared a loss so great that words can not express. Grief can not/ or will not be printed or written. Be in touch with me, I have lost a love greater than love itself I WATCHED my !st born DIE IN FRONT OF MY EYES> at 16 years.
Jim Gowran
January 18th 2010
I weep. My mind whirls. I don't know what to say. I miss you. I will always have you in my mind EVERY part of EVERY day. You can only meet your "soulmate" once in this earthly lifetime...and I met mine...in you. I will struggle to go on. I will try to live the way you wanted me to live. I miss you so much. I will cherish the dreams I have of you. I love you and I miss you. I love you Ray...."love ya, mean it." _ Jimmy
Susie RikerHayne
January 17th 2010
Two weeks ago today, I lost my brother, my dear sweet Raymond. Oh how I will miss him. Such a loving, kind and witty soul he had.
I have so many fond memories. As I do with all my siblings, Raymond and I had a special bond, even more so in these last 20-30years. I moved to Colorado in 1979. Raymond was then 20 and I was 29. He visited me often in those early years and I have wonderful memories....
Boulder Falls -a few visits there ; yet the last one, he was insistant that he could make the rocky walk downhill and uphill to the Falls -on crutches. He was a determined man.
The show put on for my neighbors at the condo -twirling his flags and rifle in the field accross the way. The clapping that followed.
Raymond Colorado--up in the hills above Boulder.
Yes we took a picture by the sign.
We did some travel together. I met him in San Francisco for a few days once and years later , my husband and I met He and Jim for fun in Hawaii. More good memories.
He was so gifted from such an early age. The years with the
Drum and Bugle Corp and Color Guard. Years later teaching the girls at Royal Oak HIgh. Excellent Waiter/Chef/Artist , co-owner of a B & B , his dream. He had a wonderful life.
The artist....
In his years at the Kirby, he started to make sea glass art.
I have some of his early pieces, mainly of green, brown and clear glass, picked up along the shores of Lake Michigan.
He made napkin rings, candle stick holders, votives, vases and much more. Some were given to me as gifts and many I purchased through the years. I will forever treasure them.
Gardens and Flowers
I believe that all my siblings inherited a passion for this from our Father. He had beautiful gardens and many Roses.
I remember one year that Raymond planted a prickly cactus in the garden behind the house, amongst the Roses. I told him a cactus would never survive the winters.It did thrive for many years and is probably still there. He knew back then at an early age much about plants.
Raymond had beautiful gardens in Royal Oak and then at The Kirby. On my visits He was sure to show me all the new blooms and those which returned each year. He was so proud. So was I.
I took home seeds and small sprigs of plants that today flourish in my gardens. I had the traveling with plants via plane down to an art. One plant I took home was a type of Veronica with tall purple spikes. I loved it as did He. It has multiplied through the years and I have shared with many a friend and sibling. When Raymond and Jimmy bought the Kirby, we continued our exchanges. I brought different plants for him to add to his new gardens, including this Veronica. Raymond was thrilled as that was one of the plants that did not make the move. It started in Royal Oak
out to Colorado and back over to Douglas.
I named it the 'Royal Oak Veronica'
One more flower -the Black Eyed Susan.
I was a young girl with brown eyes and named Susan. I did change the name ot that flower to the Brown Eyed Susan. Only fitting and actually the buds are more brown than black.
During many of our chats, I would mention to Raymond different things about the Brown Eyed Susan. He told me over and over Black Eyed Susan and I would say Brown.
I told him I changed the name when I was a little girl and he was adamant that you could not change the name of a flower. You can though Raymond. You can do whatever your heart desires. In my gardens and whenever I see that plant, it is the 'Brown Eyed Susan'.
I will forever miss our exhanges and will enjoy all the more, the plants that bloom each year in my gardens.
My visits during those years were often and always fun.
Walks along the beach, sitting on the porch with cocktails, delicious dinners made special sometimes just for me. The three of us going out to dinner and so much more.....
I am the lucky one to have a brother like you. I will miss you so much, especially in early March around our birthdays.
May you Rest in Peace my Pisces Brother ....
Love and forever in my heart
Your Pisces Sister, Susie. )(
Phil Jozefiak
January 17th 2010
As I learned of the tragic news that was about to change my world, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. If only I had known that, my last stay at the Kirby House was the last time that I was to see my friend Ray, I would have never left. I have read a lot of the memories, thoughts, sentiments, poems and journals. One can only dare to dream, to be blessed with so many very dear friends and loving people whose lives have been touched so profoundly, by the both of you. My heart goes out to everyone and their families. Yet, I cannot help but feel a bit selfish for having thoughts of how this is going to affect me. I am so deeply saddened by this news. I cannot fathom the idea of going to my secret getaway without Ray Kirby being there with all of his abundant passions, jokes and banter. Goodbye Ray my dear friend. I am, and will, miss you always.
Marilyn S. Davis
January 14th 2010
I have been friends with Raymond's sister Susie for almost 40 years. I have been away, and upon my return got the dreadful email from Susie about Raymond's passing. I have been in Raymond's company many, many times over the years and he was always a very happy, fun person to be around. I know that Susie and the family will miss Raymond dearly and I know that the Kirby House and Jim meant so much to him. Some how, some day we all will be able to make some sense out of why this had to happen like this. My hope is that Raymond didn't suffer and that he is in God's hands looking down and just getting heaven ready for all of us when our time comes. That is what Raymond would do, you know? He will get things ready for all of us. That was his nature. I wish the Riker family much peace. I will help my dearest friend Susie through this too. May God rest his soul.
Char Cislo
January 13th 2010
Jim,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ray's family. Lisa called to tell me over the weekend and I am deeply saddened by this loss.
I know I have not had a chance to see both of you lately, but I have the fondest of memories of the you two hosting the "crazy nurses!"
Take comfort in the love and friendship the two of you were privilieged to share together. Thank you for sharing him with the rest of us!
Love, Char
Candy Sierminski
January 12th 2010
I have known Ray's sister, Susie for 20+ years both being in the travel industry.
On many occasions, when Susie would visit, she would come back and share all the wonderful memories of her relaxing days spent with Ray and Jim at the Kirby House.
Although I never met Ray in person, through Susie's smile as she spoke of her brother, brought out the real person in him. His vibrant personality and way he enjoyed his gardens...just as Susie does hers. The love he had for his family and partner for life speaks of the life he lived.
My heart goes to all of the Riker family and Jim..always remember that the memories that you have with Ray will be forever etched in your minds. Peace to all of you and may God grant you the strength to endure the weeks and months ahead.
God bless,
Candy
Alice Hayne
January 11th 2010
To Raymond's Dear Family,
When I think of Raymond. I can see him and Scottie walking
Susie down the aisle at Ryssby Church on her wedding day
to my oldest son Ralph. Both brothers looked so proud. It
was such a special day, the whole Riker family are special
people. I've only seen Raymond that one time but I feel that I knew him thru Susie. I know he will be missed so much, but I'm sure God has special plans for him.
God Bless All of You.
Kathleen Dinkel
January 11th 2010
I wrote a memory earlier, before we left for my precious brother's funeral. But now that we have returned back to Tennessee, for those who are following all of these memories, I wanted to share something that I was able to share with everyone at his beautiful service! And thank you to everyone who has shared their memories. . .it has helped me as well as our entire family so much.
When my brother Raymond was about 7 years old, my husband Richard (many know him as Dick) and I returned from 2-years in Germany with the Air Force. One day we took him with us to Montgomery Wards and his “big brother-in-law” bought him a set of Lincoln Logs. It must have been so special to him to because he mentioned those Lincoln Logs many times through the next 43 years.
We came here less than 2 weeks ago to spend (as Raymond called it) some “quality” time together and he mentioned that simple little gift of Lincoln Logs that Dick bought him so many years ago.
Raymond inherited his gentle, sweet and loving ways from both of our parents, but I know the gentleness was from our Mom with whom he shared a very unique and special relationship. His ability to take care of people, both friends and family, and making us all feel so special whatever the circumstances were, was probably from both of them. But his outgoing personality, very comedic and entertaining qualities, quick wit and those occasional snappy “zingers” definitely came from our dad.
When we lost our oldest son 16 years ago, he dropped everything and came out to Tennessee along with the rest of our sisters and brother, nieces and nephews to be there and share in our devastating loss. And then, just 4 months later, he came back to Tennessee to just spend some loving time with me and my family. That was Raymond, so unselfish!
I love you Raymond and now you’re in heaven with Mom and Dad and Mark and we will love you forever and know that we will see you again one day. I guess God wanted you with Him more than he thought we needed you.
Kathleen
Pat from Chicago
January 11th 2010
Dear Jim,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and the families.
A few years ago my daughter was suffering from the death of her dearest friend and you and Ray found a room for us in your inn even though you were going to be closed. You wrapped us in comfort, warmth of family, and outstanding food. The heated discussions in the kitchen when you thought we couldn't hear you, the laughter and the love you so obviously had for each other made us feel like a part of a very special retreat. Thank you for sharing yourselves.
May your memories make you smile and even laugh out loud.
With love and affection. Pat
Jim Renberg
January 11th 2010
I heard of Ray's passing 2 days ago, I'm so sorry Jim to hear of this news. My partner Tom and I stayed at the Kirby House once many years ago and feel in love with this area as we call it home now. 8 years ago I graduated from culinary school in Florida and returned to Saugatuck. I deceided to make a cold call to Ray to ask a few questions about his personal thoughts on food, cooking and how it works here. We talked for about 1/2 hour and he offered sound advice to me about bringing my culinary background to Saugatuck. The last thing he said to me - If you do not have this one cookbook you should get it. The name, The Professional Chef. That was Ray. I use the cookbook often. Jim, be strong and know this community supports you.
Jim and Tom
stephanie Schaefer
January 10th 2010
Dear Jim,
We are very saddened by Ray's passing. May god give you the strength and peace. He was a wonderful, caring and Charismaticman. He will be greatly missed.
Stephanie Schaefer.
Gary Herbertson
January 10th 2010
Jim.......my partner and I heard about Ray's passing last evening through some friends that summer in Saugatuck. On our visits to Saugatuck, we were always told that the best place to stay was the Kirby House. When we'd pass by your home on the way to the beach, we always admired the landscaping and the beauty of the home itself. I am sorry that we never got a chance to meet Ray and the next time we are in town, Russ and I will make it a point to stop by and say "hello". The numerous tributes expressed on this site are certainly a testament to what a wonderful man Ray was. Our thoughts & prayers are with you.
- Gary Herbertson & Russell Toles
"A human life is a story told by God" ~ Hans Christian Andersen
Rebecca Failing
January 10th 2010
I have been coming to Kirby House for a long while now, not only myself, but both my children and my husband. I was very shocked to hear of Rays passing, not thinking such a vital, loving man could be gone. Even though I live not so far away, we would always come back again and again not just because the house is magnificent, but because of the love and caring Jim and Ray spread all through it: from the front porch and yard, to the back and around the pool, to the insides up and down. I have always felt loved and welcomed every single time I walked over that threshold. Most times I would come there needing the love that both Ray and Jim gave. Most times, Ray would crack me up in his passionate zeal in how he would like (or not like!) things. And how his love for all the cats, especially Moscow. Liking all animals, seeing this in both Jim and Ray is another reason why I will always come back to Kirby House.
I am very saddened to hear of Ray's passing, and it's doubly hard as I am far away on another continent (Antarctica) and can't be there. I will pray for you Jim, that you will have strength and peace, and that your heart will someday be calm.
Be well, my friend.
Margie & Ed Laski (Dave's Mom & Dad)
January 9th 2010
We only met Ray and Jim this past September when we stayed at the Kirby House along with our son, Dave. He has known these wonderful men for about 12 years. They became such special friends to Dave and his group that would stay at the Kirby House in July and possibly a few more stays during the summer. Their group of friends would have such a wonderful time and adventure. Ray and Jim each had such a special warm charm about them and made you feel so welcome and at ease during your stay. Ray did have a special quality about him. We enjoyed a wonderful afternoon on that great wraparound front porch and discovered we had lived only one block from each other but on the same street in Detroit. Dave and Ray had attended the same high school but Ray was a senior when Dave was a freshman. Who knew!! Then to discover Jim and Dave also attended another school but at different times. My this world of ours is small. Warm conversation creates warm memories. These two men created a very special atmosphere of warmth at this grand lady called the Kirby House and some of the most delicious meals ever. We may have met only once but felt like we knew you forever. And, forever in our hearts you'll be. Rest in peace dear friend. You'll be a special angel to many of us even with that sweet twinkle in your eye.
Margie & Ed
Steve & Susie Cornett
January 9th 2010
Cinco de Mayo...need I say more? Jim, you are in our thoughts and prayers...along with family and friends of Ray. Ray, we are so glad to have met you and you will forever be in our memories.
Andre Williams/Joseph Kiersey
January 9th 2010
Dear Jim,
Please accept our deepest sympathy. Words cannot express how sorry we are to hear about the sudden loss or Ray. Our hearts go out to you. As you know, Ray was a unique man, kind, generous, thoughtful, and a great host who always opened your home to make us feel welcome and comfortable on our visits. He was a friend and character and will be sadly missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and both of your families during this time of sorrow.
May you rest in peace Ray. In the hands of an Angel and now in Gods arms.
Sincerely and Lovenly,
Andre Williams
Joseph Kiersey
Chicago, Il.
John Schaefer
January 9th 2010
Ray and I met in the mid 1970 during a season with the Saginaires Drum and Bugle Corp. He was the kid from Detroit and was not immediately embraced by the group but along the way he became one of the gang of five. Jo, Debbie Shoo, Grover, Ray and I become fast friends and over the next few years this evolved into strong friendships.
But it didn’t end there. Over those years Ray became one of my best friends. This is not a feat easily accomplished because over the years I count very few individuals as close personal friends and Ray was one of them.
I spent a summer in Detroit with Ray and his parents and during that time my life intertwined with his sister Grace. We were all members of the Drum Corp and would drive to and from Detroit to attend practices and the tours. This was not always an easy task but we seemed to endure and move on.
As our friendship grew, Ray and I eventually became room mates in Bridgeport Michigan. This is when Ray shared his dream of one day become a Rock Star. He went as far as to develop a ‘stage name’ for himself and at that point, and for evermore, he became known as Mondo Verone Bondage Bereznikov to me. Mondo was now his name and even as the toils of life and reality moved Ray past his dream of stardom I never stopped using that name for him.
Ray’s deep seeded desire to serve was starting to bloom during those times also and everyone around him could see that he would become one of the best at whatever he choose to do. Ray worked in Frankenmuth as a waiter at the Bavarian Inn and was much more than a waiter but an actor with a heart. He would often talk about work in a way that not many 19 years could do.
His love to entertain was also growing and I often remember the neighbors less than joyful comments when Mondo turned the stereo speakers out the window so he could put on his show in the front yard of the apartment building. He would take his rifle and flag and put on a show for the world to see. As everyone who knew Ray knows, he was not a shy wall flower by any means.
His ability to turn every day life situations into songs also amazed me. To this day my personal favorite was ‘Dawn the Fawn’, a song about a friend of ours girlfriend. It had several verses and seemed to be the opening song each Saturday morning. Mondo could take even the most unnoticeable event and turn it to song.
I never did get to visit or see Ray’s achievement of business ownership in the B and B but I know as I look over others’ comments that it certainly was the Ray I knew that was there. He did not know how to do things half way. In fact Ray’s way was all out. My wife, daughters and I visited Ray after his parents passing in Detroit. Ray prepared a meal for royalty and even though we only spent a few hours that day many years ago the memory is as strong as if it had happened last week.
I have not seen Ray for about 15 years and last talked to him about five years ago. Life’s journey took us in different directions. But his passing has left a large whole in my heart and I will miss his presence here on earth.
Ray, rest in peace and know that the people you touched while you were with us will live on in our hearts and lives.
Michael Corneille
January 9th 2010
To Jim and Ray's Family:
I am overwhelmed and sorry for your loss. I could get into all the wonderful memories I shared with this wonderful man, along with Jim, while they lived in Royal Oak, Michigan.
The fabulous dinner parties on your deck, get togethers at my house to plan my garden, impromptu "bike stops" for a refreshing drink and talk about life>> again, your deck.. While we laughed and you bitched about that hotel and the Wendy's drive in speaker, but those were good times and memories that I will never forget, or your friends will.
The visit I made to Sagutauk, you had a broken leg..While impromtu and you are in pain..you still smiled and we laughed..........Good memories and I was blessed to be you friend.
There is a new star in the sky tonight.
Michael
David E. Laski
January 9th 2010
Sorry for a third entry, but today I had to say goodbye to someome very special. Goodbye? Ray, how could I possibly say goodbye to a man who enjoyed life as much as you? Especially someone who was taken from us way too soon. Your warmth, kindness, that smile, the summertime fun, sea glass, the laughter, the Kirby Creed ( Yes there is such a thing), your gardens, Christmas in July, Kirby Pool Punch, Nicknames, Labor Day and a relationship with Jimmy I TRUELY admired. Since Sunday I have been on an emotional Roller Coaster. The fact you're gone was a shock and blow to many. So many fond memories over 12 short years. Memories I will always treasure. All the peoples lives you touched besides mine. To know you was to love you! I feel a void and emptiness as if a part of me was taken with you. I don't know what to do with this feeling. I know you're in a better place free from illness and pain. Carl and I took a single rose to remember you by from the floral arrangement we sent. We were sad as we took them and left the Kirby House. Then I thought you wouldn't want us to be sad, you would want us to walk to our cars with the rose in our teeth!! Rest in peace dear Ray-Ray until we see each other again. I miss you, I love you and will never ever forget you! Dave
Susan Michels Lyford
January 8th 2010
Ray remembers me as Sue and we were very close friends through elementary school. Our families went to church together and our brothers and sisters went to school together as well. Ray and I were friends through most of elementary school due to our quirky sense of humor and love of "pushing the limit"!
My favorite memory of Ray was about 6th or 7th grade. We both realized that we loved and could quote The Wizard of Oz verbatim. We lived the movie at any moment and would break out in song or act out part of the movie at any given moment much to the nuns dismay. We were lining up single file for daily Mass and there was an old storm cellar behind the convent. Ray jumped out of line and ran over to the cellar and started kicking at it just like Dorothy does to the storm cellar in the movie when the tornado is approaching! I about died of laughter. I don't remember much about the rest of the story except that Ray got in trouble (big surprise) and I laughed silently knowing EXACTLY the scene he was recreating.
My children, who are now 19 and 20 years old, love the Wizard of Oz just as much as I do. I always told the story of Ray kicking at the storm cellar behind the convent when the part of the movie would come on the screen and my daughter was really sad to hear that Ray had died even though she never met him!
There are a ton of other memories of Ray and I and Marty Klausing and Kathy Mandich and all the rest of the gang from St. Jude's but that is my favorite Ray memory BY far! I was really sorry that we didn't stay in touch over the years. Now I am REALLY sorry that I never had a chance to meet Jim and stay at the Kirby House.
You sure made a Catholic education a lot of fun, Ray! Thanks! Love you....Your friend, Sue
Keith Brouwer
January 8th 2010
So sorry to hear of Ray's passing. My partner Oscar & I came to the Kirby house for the first time last yr for a quick few days from the big city & were greated with lots of hospitality & great food. We met some very nice people while staying there and looked forward to returning with friends in the future. Life is so precious & we never know how long God will keep us here. So enjoy each other each & everyday.
Keith & Oscar
Lesa Werme
January 8th 2010
Dear Jim,
I am so sorry to hear of this. My heart goes to you. Ray was a person who made you feel at home in his home. He will be missed and I am so glad to have crossed his path. I will be thinking of you.
Carlos Velez
January 8th 2010
Jim,
I was shocked and deeply saddened to learn of Ray's passing. My partner and I visited The Kirby House (along with another couple) for the first time last April and Ray was the first person to greet us at the door. In the short time we got to know him, it was obvious what a kind, thoughtful, and caring person he was and how much he cared about you. I was not surprised at all to learn that you 2 were together for over 20 years because the love you had for one another was obvious, even from someone who did not know you very well.
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you guys and remembering the great weekend we spent at The Kirby House.
I really wish the best for you and hope that you come to peace with Ray's passing and cherish the memories that you have of the time that you spent together.
-Carlos Velez (Chicago, IL)
Ted Durst and Mark Britt
January 8th 2010
Jim -
Please know that you and all of your and Ray's family and friends are held in our thoughts and prayers. We are shocked and deeply, deeply saddened. Know also that we hold Ray who is now in God's nearer presence in our love, thoughts and prayers.
Your home has always been a wonderful getaway for us, whether a visit in a March blizzard to celebrate our anniversary or a summer visits and time by the pool. In fact, that March anniversary weekend a few years ago was also Ray’s birthday weekend. You and Ray have always made us feel like we were coming to Michigan to visit dear friends.
Again, we are deeply saddened. Please know of our sincere and deepest sympathy and that you continue in our thoughts and prayers. If there is anything we can do to be helpful or supportive in the days ahead please do not hesitate to call on us.
Ted Durst and Mark Britt
Chicago
chrissey & erich seelye (mcduffey)
January 8th 2010
I have so many wonderful memories that I cant even pick the best one, because they are all so special.
I first met Jim and Ray right after they took over the Kirby House. From the very first time I walked through those doors, and into the warm cozy kirby house, I fell in love with these to guys Jim and Ray. They were just as warm, cozy, and welcoming as this big beautiful charming home.
It didnt take long to realize how special this place was, but more importantly how special these two guys were.
From that summer on it was the Kirby House annual vacation. Our group of friends would pack up every year and take over the Kirby House, usually about 6 to 10 of us.
We started the FANCY DRINK CONTEST that first year, and it grew every year, to the point of adding skits to present our fancy drinks. About 3 years later it was to the point of preparing our skits and drinks for months before, with practice, costume making, dialogue, music, it was quite a big event. Jim and Ray of coarse were a part of that, and I cant begin to tell the unbelievable stories and memories of spending time at the house with the boys.
Jim and Ray were so special, and such wonderful hosts, that I recall a time when there were other guests there, because we didnt fill the whole house that year, and I remember these other people had this amazing connection with them, that I thought only my friends and I had. For some reason I thought noone else was as special as our group. I came to realize that they had this special friendship with many more guest.
I guess what im trying to say is that they made every person, or groups of people feel like they were the most special guests.
We moved to California 3 years ago, so my Kirby House ays were overas far as an annual visit goes. So I havent seen the boys for awhile. I have truly missed our special times.
To this day, my husband Erich and I still tell stories of our special times there.
My love, thoughts, and prayers go out to Jim, I know these will be some hard times, but I know you are surrounded with love and support.
Much Love, Ray will be missed by more people than he will ever know.
Chrissey and Erich Seelye (Mcduffey)
paul & linda zysk
January 8th 2010
After our first stay at another b&b in the area we were not very happy with the experience. However after meeting ray the very first time we knew we had to keep returning the the kirby house and we have loved every visit. He always made you welcome and loved to share funny stories as well as his deepest thoughts. Ray will certainly be missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Jim and Ray's family at this time
Victor Glowacki
January 8th 2010
For the 8 years that Bill and I have been coming to the Kirby House, Ray's fun-loving spirit has always made our trips so special. Jim, we could always tell that Ray's love for you was so deep and abiding, through thick and thin. Your relationship was truly an inspiration for both of us. Ray was truly an extraordinary man, with such a big, generous heart. We will keep him and you in our thoughts and prayers.
Stan Henson
January 7th 2010
Dear Jim,
I was very sorry to hear about Ray's passing. I have many fond memories of the long summer weekends I spent with you and Ray at the Kirby House. I was especially impressed with Ray's "green thumb" talents. And, I admired the beautiful flowers and gardens he so carefully tended to around the grounds of the Kirby House.
Ray was truly "one of a kind", with a quick wit and a wry sense of humor, and he will be sadly missed.
Please accept my sincerest condolences.
Stan Henson
Patricia McClean
January 7th 2010
Prayers for you, your friends, and your families are ongoing as we remember your gracious hospitality and the delicious food you two prepared for my girlfirends and myself on our visits to Michigan lighthouses. We are sorry for your loss...it can not be described by any words. God is with you when sighs and sorrows are too deep for words.
Sincerely,
Patricia McClean, Sue Tedell, and my late sister Annie
Marypat Wulff
January 7th 2010
Dawn and Craig Bloomfield introduced me to the Kirby House a few summers ago and what a great time we (Dawn, Craig, Curt, Jon, John, and I ) shared with Ray and Jim...the few days were spent hanging around the pool, happy hours, shopping, breakfasts, dining out, and meeting other guests. It was just what the dr. ordered and Ray and Jim were so much fun. I hope to return to the Kirby House someday and make new memories although the ones I have of my first visit shall remain in my heart forever. Love and Peace...marypat
Mary Potts and Tim Pulice
January 7th 2010
We have been fortunate to spend time at the Kirby House every year but one since we were married in 2000. Ray and Jim have always been gracious as hosts, and as time went by, as friends, too. They even invited us to house-sit when they went on a rare vacation a few years ago, which truly was an honor and a privilege for us both. In our stays at the Kirby, Ray's wonderful breakfasts began our morning, his humorous, genuine conversation (and Jim's) kept us company by the pool as the sun drifted across the sky, and his smile in the evening -- often, after we had been out to dinner with the two of them at Everyday People Cafe or elsewhere -- was a splendid conclusion to our day. You'll remain in our hearts and minds, dear Ray.
Patrick Hendershot
January 7th 2010
It’s a quiet and snowy day here in St. Louis. My mind keeps coming back to Ray today and remembering all the wonderful times I have had at the Kirby House. This reminds me of one of my favorite trips to Saugatuck in the middle of winter. I remember how quiet and peaceful it was. The lake was frozen as far as you could see, and there was no lapping of the waves or screeching of the gulls. It was great being at the Kirby House with Jim and Ray during a “down time,” comfortable like being with your own family. I’ll miss Ray’s mischievous smile and the easy way in which he made people feel welcome. While we will certainly miss him in this lifetime, I’m thankful for God’s ultimate healing. Ray’s no longer in pain or sickness; I believe he’s in peaceful, quiet and snowy place right now watching over us all. God’s love and peace to you Jim and all your family. Patrick
David E. Laski
January 7th 2010
I had to enter a second memory. Everyone who new Ray knows how much he liked sea glass. Especially the pieces from Lake Michigan he found in and around Saugatuck and Douglas. His "Jewels of the Sea" were always a fabulous and artistic part of breakfast. The napkin rings, vases and candle holders. Two years ago, I had brought a book I had bought on Sea Glass for Ray. Jimmy saw it in the room and asked where I had gotten it. He wanted to buy one for Ray. I told him it was for Ray. Ray was so happy when I gave the book to him. Jimmy took pictures of Ray with the book. Just another memory I had to share. There are still so many more. Every time I'm on a beach and see a piece of sea glass I will think of you Ray Ray. I hope other people who read this will too when they happen upon a jewel of the sea. I miss you, love you and will always remember you.
Dave
Joanne Klausing
January 7th 2010
Ray,
I kept track of you through Marty.He always spoke highly of you and your success at the Kirby House.
I especially remember fond memories of us in Detroit and you calling me (JOSIE)
You and Jack would be watching football and Marty and I were eating or watching talk shows.
You will be missed but I am sure it's wonderful in Heaven.
God Bless you and your family.
Love, Jack and Joanne(Josie)
Jeff Wofford
January 7th 2010
Although I haven't seen Ray and Jim for many years, I always asked my friend Marty ( one of Rays dear friends ) how they were doing. I met Ray through Marty in the late 80's when he and Marty were the best of buds. Between the 2 of them, there is no way you wouldn't go home sore from laughter! I'll never forget when Ray would call someone "Girl", they way he would twist his jaw as he'd say it. I'm smiling right now just thinking of it. Oh, he was so entertaining. I'll always remember Raymond!!!!!
And Jim, though we only met briefly before you and Ray moved to Saugatuck, and I moved to Florida, my heart goes out to you..........I will keep you, and all of Rays friends and family in my prayers, for it is the survivors who suffer most. Boy, Ray will sure shake things up in Heaven.
My deepest, and heartfelt symapathy to you.
Jeff
Denise Anderson
January 7th 2010
On my most recent visit to the Kirby House in July, Ray deemed me a fellow cat lover after watching Moscow and I sit together reading by the pool. Later that evening, I was pleasantly surprised, and honored, when he introduced me to the rest of his feline family (singling out Wiley of course, as most attached to him).
Echoing the sentiments of so many others, I too always found comfort and joy in my visits to the Kirby House. It was one of my most wonderful "finds" after moving to the Midwest. The sad news was shocking and the loss unimaginable. My heart goes out to Jim and to both of their families. You will be in my prayers.
Wade W. Ellis
January 7th 2010
I am not good at expressing myself in words, it is a talent I have never had. Yet, I am compelled to try and write down some thoughts of a man I have loved more than a brother. I stayed at the Kirby House several times before Jim and Ray took over the dubious tasks of running the bed and breakfast. Although the Kirby House was a nice place to stay, that was not why it became my safe harbor home away from where I lived. It was Ray and Jim that kept me coming back time after time. It was Ray that I would spend so much time talking to about whatever issue I might be going through at that particular time. It was all that time that he spent with me on the swing on the front porch or when I would try and help out in the mornings with breakfast, even though a kitchen is foreign territory to me, that he captured my heart and soul and became the friend he is today. His love and laughter fill my life with joy and happiness every time I was with him. The Kirby House became my safe harbor where Jim and Ray accepted for who I am.
I have been devastated since I heard the news of Ray’s passing. I started thinking of the hugs I would never get from Ray again or the way he made me laugh or the kidding I would give him about something unimportant or when he would find me in the hot tub at 4 or 5 am, because neither of us could sleep. Those special scrambled eggs and cheese he would make for me every morning, even though it was a pain for him to do. But, I also realized how lucky I was to be a small part of his life and he a part of mine. How Ray in many ways Ray had made me a better person, (never a better cook though). How Ray has enriched my life and given me hundreds of memories that I will keep with me.
I love you Ray and always will and I will never let you slip from my memories,
Wade
Nancy Coleman
January 7th 2010
Dearest Jim,
The "Quaker Ladies" from Indiana/Ohio are sending you so much love and hugs. We, too, feel like we've lost a great friend. You can't imagine how much we enjoyed being with you guys just sitting on the porch or having a drink by the pool and catching up with our lives. We love you both.
I know what it was like when I lost the love of my life, so I'm sending a special wish for your strength and positive attitude. Much love,
Nancy Coleman, Pat Bogue, Ruth Ann Silvers, Carol Harris
Monika Essen
January 7th 2010
I remember my first visit to the Kirby many moons ago. My friend Dawn talked incessantly about how wonderful it was and how much she loved the guys who owned it. Well, I'm not exactly a "people person" so the thought of going to a B & B filled me with dread. However, by the end of the weekend you both made me feel like I had friends for life. Ray had the unique gift of making everyone feel special and loved.
I remember how Ray wouldn't believe that Dawn and I had husbands, so we brought them from that weekend on! And we all became part of your family.
I remember what fun we had with our "fancy drink contests" that became known around the world (well, the Saugatuck/Douglas area anyway). The funniest moment of all was when Ray just started twirling this hanger that he happened to find. We laughed until we cried. Every year we had to try and top each other. Such crazy, happy, memories. Such fun. Such good friends.
Ray's warmth, beaming smile, and generosity of spirit will be sorely missed on this Earth.
Kurt and I send our loving thoughts to you during this trying time and always,
Monika
Pam & Sam Storage
January 7th 2010
I'm not sure how to express my words or sadness that I truely feel for Ray's passing. But Jim please know that both Sam and I are truley sorry for you loss. Both YOU and Ray and the Kirby House, hold a very dear place in our hearts. We are both very eager to return to the Kirby House to show you our LOVE and support.
Annette Hines
January 7th 2010
I am sending love & light to all who are touched by the news of Rays passing. My heart is sadened. I spent two amazing days there with the love of my life back in 2004. What beautiful memories I have of both Ray and Jim. They made us feel so at home with the love, warmth and hospitality that came natural from both of them. Memories I will always cherish. Thank you for touching my heart with your loving smiling soul. Peace be to all.
With Love, Light & Oneness,
Annette Hines
Carmen Cuellar & Lisa Hanlon
January 7th 2010
Jim -
Lisa & I are so saddened to hear about Ray. You know - the Kirby House was our first Bed & Breakfast experience - and wow, how the two of you made it an experience. We will always cherish that. Also, the thoughtfulness of sending me pez dispensers - since you knew I collected them - coincidentally I actually picked it up yesterday since I'm finally doing an inventory - and thought of you both. I also remember giving Ray the chef pez.
Right now I'm sure you are surrounded by insurmountable love and attention from your friends and family - which will help you during this difficult time. It's the time after that will be harder and we will keep you in our thoughts and send you positive energy.
I remember buying one of Ray's broken glass orange tea light holders - we loved it so much. Due to a misforunate accident - it was broken - and today I wish I still had it - to remind me of Ray. However, all I have to do is remember. He will not be forgotten by any means - and neither will you.
I have had my share of medical issues - and luckily today I can say that I am fine. I often play a "what if" movie in my mind - and am grateful of my real outcome.
We live so far away - and haven't seen you in a few years - but just know that we often talk about you, Ray, the Kirby House, the amazing food, the porch swing -- ALL OF IT.
I just finished reading your entire blog and Ray's life story. What a life - especially the one he shared with you. I called Lisa on her way to work - and cried when I told her the news.
Years ago, when I lost someone very close to me - I ran across a poem by W. H. Auden - 'Funeral Blues'. Ray was your North, your South, your East and West - your working week - and your Sunday rest.....
The sun will come out again my friend -
Love,
Carmen Cuellar & Lisa Hanlon - Bartlett, IL
Nancy Maier
January 7th 2010
Jim,
I remember you telling me a story about a guy walking up and down your street who you thought was so "hot". I remember you walking up and down the same street to get his attention. It didn't take long, and soon, the two of you had eachother's attention. From there, I remember smiles, laughing, friends, partnerships, and the two of you always sharing.
My most vivid memory is visiting your home during Christmas time, and how beautifully decorated it was. You had three trees I believe, and one was "Ray's" special project. However, because the two of you were so close, the entire house was a "special project" for the two of you.
I loved the way Ray was so open and willing to accept anyone for who they were. I also loved and still will love that smile. That big, bright, happy smile.
One thing to always hang onto Jim, there are so many people who have never experienced the love, partnership, friendship, sharing and caring that you have. To have shared all of that is so, so special and yes, Ray will always be in your heart and I know you will always be in his.
My thoughts and prayers are with you always and know I am here for you - even from afar.
Love you - Nancy
Diane Richey
January 7th 2010
Jim: My thoughts, prayers and wonderful memories of Chef Ray come your way. I will always remember the smell of the kitchen and seeing Ray's smile as I entered throught the back door. The Kirby House was a labor of love for your both and you could feel that the moment you walked in. Your guests adore you and so do those of us who have had the pleasure to know you and Ray. I am so glad I know you and for the time I got to spend with you both.
Matthew Baldwin
January 7th 2010
Jim-
I'm truley shocked and saddend to hear of Ray's passing! I have the most incredible memories of the new years spent with you and Ray. The warmth and love that radiated from the two of you will stay with me forever. From my very first visit to the Kirby House, i felt not like a guest, but like a friend. His fantastic cooking, sharp humor, great conversation and that killer smile will be greatly missed.
Jim, you and Ray's family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
matt
Doug Robbins
January 7th 2010
Ray, I've always admired you.
For following your dreams (along with Jim of course) to come to Saugatuck, to buy the Kirby House, to go for what you wanted. It was so clear to me that you were exactly where you wanted to be, doing exactly what you wanted to do. That's a lucky man, if you asked me.
I have many fun memories I'll save, Ray. But I'll always remember walking through the Kirby House gardens with you in the Spring. You showing off which plants were working well, which ones weren't - and asking if I wanted any more of your "damned ferns" or "some more daffodils" for my own garden. So many of your plants have been there for generations, planted by some long-gone gardener - but still providing us with the benefits all these years later.
This Spring, when my Kirby ferns come up, and the Kirby daffodils bloom in April, I'll walk my own garden and show you what's working, what's not, and think fondly of our friendship. Safe travels, Ray.
Love,
Doug
Steve Schuster/Mike Maczka/Flemish House Chicago
January 7th 2010
Jim, both Mike and I extend our thoughts to you. We are so sorry to hear about Ray. We will always cherish those wonderful breakfasts when we were able to get away from our own B&B. Everyone lying around the pool with a hearty cocktail.
It maybe hard right now but it is true, Ray is always with you.
Take care of you thru all of this, and know we are thinking of you.
Steve and Mike
Alan W Jacques
January 7th 2010
to my Cousin Ray, Jim and family;
I am deeply saddened at the news of your passing. My heart is heavy and my thoughts and prayers go out to all my cousins and their families, your life partnerJim and to all who had the special pleasure of knowing you. Our special connection was Drum Corps and I knew that you understood the commitment to perfection and sacrifice it took to achieve it. I was thrilled that you enjoyed it as much as I did! It has been a long time since our early childhoods, but I still remember all the fun and special times we shared at the cottage with brother Scott and my brother Keith. Remember the times we would be running throught the cottage two steps ahead of Mimi and her wooden spoon. Remember laughing and unable to go to sleep because we were all keyed up on candy and sodas. I will always remember your smile and how it lit up the room. I will miss you and look forward to joining you in heaven. Till then, pray for us so that we may finish our race strong and join you at the feet of the savior.
All my Love,
Your Cousin Alan
ralph fasano
January 7th 2010
I had the pleasure of working with Ray at the Ritz Carlton hotel. They hired him, because he was a real waiter, and I think they just liked my look. They would give him all the VIP tables, because he was so good. He would always laugh because I said I wasn't as good as him because "this is not my career choice". He would always laugh, because it was true, and it was his career...he was great.
There were four of us who would hang out and always be getting in trouble. When Ray and I would talk we always laughed about the time he got in trouble when he waited on the CEO of the Ritz. While talking their order, he bumped into someone at the table and said excuse me in French. Two minutes later, he was called into the private dinning room and was firmly told.....We are not in France and you are not French. Speak English. He came out of that room like they told him he stole the hotel money. After the shock wore off...we all laughed and kept laughing about it for years.
He had so much class and knew his stuff. I can remember two or three times of having the best bottle of wines that I have ever tasted with him...you only drank the best bottles of wine with him.
Ray bought me one of my first Christmas orniments....A nut cracker. I know that I told him how I take it out every year...that thing must be about 25 years old. It's so special to me....a matter of fact right after Christmas this year I was remebering Ray and when he gave it to me, as a put it away.
God bless you...I miss you already. Hey when you see Mike our other work mate from the Ritz up there...don't get into to much trouble...and tell him I think about him too. Also tell him, I still think he's an ass for getting us all in trouble for not completeing our tables....you know what I mean. Love you. Ralph
KEITH & KAY JACQUES
January 7th 2010
Cousin Ray,
I will remember the good times we had as kids growing up
in Michigan. The times at Harsens Island swimming in the
canal and walking to upmals to bye candy. Also the time
our furnace went out and mom sent Al and I to stay at
your house with you and Scotty (what a couple of fun days we had). You will always be special to our family. I will request a Mass at our church in your name.
Love your cousin
Keith
Renee andJoe Caro
January 6th 2010
From: Renée
Jim-Bo I wanted to reach out to you so many times this week. You are constantly in my thoughts and I know you are so overwhelmed.
Please know Joe and I loved Ray. He was a wonderful man and such a joy to be around. So we would like to celebrate his life, as he would want us to!
I can remember back over the last ten years to when we first met you and Ray. It was at a Valentine's Day Progressive Dinner in Saugatuck. The Kirby House was hosting one of the courses. The first time I met you and Ray you were wearing matching Chef and Waiter outfits...I thought how cute are these guys and what a gorgeous house and you were both so warm and friendly. I told Ray how cute he looked and he said, don't call me cute...call me handsome! That was Ray!
This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
We started attending many of Ray's Special Dinner Weekends at the Kirby House, seven Dickens Christmas Dinner’s, three Last Dinner on the Titanic, one Taste of Spain Dinner, and last but not least one Cooking Class Weekend. Oh my, that Cooking Class...oh boy...Ray begged me NOT to do another one. Ray teased me about my cooking skills or should I say lack of cooking skills. We always had a good laugh about it whenever the subject came up.
The four of us also enjoyed many dinners together at Everyday People Cafe (one of Ray and Jim's favorite restaurants).
It was always exciting to see the Kirby House at Christmas time. Ray always decorated both Christmas trees to perfection...every ornament carefully placed...it would take a week. He was so proud of his purple Christmas tree. He loved showing off his Christmas Village, all the decorations were so beautiful. Ray worked so hard to make it special every year and it always was.
Ray also was a talented artist. He made the most beautiful vases, candlesticks, and napkin rings using sea glass collected from the Lake Michigan shore. I bought 13 pieces. He made several especially for me. I will always treasure them.
We enjoyed bringing family and friends with us to the Kirby House. Ray and Jim always made us feel welcome...like it was our house too.
What can I say about Ray's cooking...he was the best...the food was always spectacular!!
I enjoyed Ray's vibrant personality and sense of humor the best. I acted like a bit of a mother hen to him and Jim and Ray always teased me about it. Ray paid me a high compliment saying I was just like a sister. I was very touched.
Ray did not just walk in to a room…he made an entrance...he glided on air!
Ray touched so many lives...the rest of us...we are all the better for having known him!
Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendour in the grass, Of glory in the flower, We will grieve not, Rather find strength in what remains behind. - William Wordsworth
Marty Klausing
January 6th 2010
My Dearest Raymond, my best friend, my party girl, my everything. So many memories, such a short time. You have always been my best friend and always will be..From my heart to your family, I love you all. I will truly miss making new memories, but will forever treasure the memories we have made and shared. I love you all, God Bless you Raymond, Rest in Peace. Thank you for sharing the wealth of who you were..
All my Love,
Marty
Jeff Davison & Anthony Marsalese
January 6th 2010
Your smile, your incredibly warm welcome and more than anything your friendship will always be remembered and incredibly missed. Anthony and I have so many fun and meaningful memories, it's hard to pick any particular one. I think simply the way you made us feel when we walked into your home stands out. That smile and unconditional love is something we will never be lucky enough to see or feel from anyone again. I know you are in a beautiful place making others feel like you made us feel. Our loss is truly their blessing. I really don't believe we won't see you again...that is if we behave...I am looking forward to it and will never forget how you made us feel.
Love you, and don't worry, we'll look after your beloved, Jim.
Miss you until the day we see each other again.
Love, Jeff and Anthony
Bill Scroeder and Larry Stine
January 6th 2010
All you have to do is look at Ray's smile, and it says sooooo much. He was a man who loved life, loved the Kirby House and above all loved Jim and the life that they shared. Larry and I were fortunate enough to spend several summer days at Kirby House. The house was beautiful, the surrounding town/village were fun and unique BUT what made our favorite "getaway" from the hustle/bustle of Toledo were Ray and Jim.......always so congenial, always so welcoming. brunches that were always uncomparible and a feeling of really being welcomed....... We always looked forward to the late afternoons when Ray woud come out with his "drink of choice" and do a cannon ball in to the pool......he had arrived, and the party always seemed allmost complete, unti Jim arrived soon after.
Jim and family Ray will always remain a very special individual to us, and will never be forgotten.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you, we feel your loss soooo much, but are relieved, as I'm sure you are that Ray's at peace, and will always look down on you as you look up to him in memory.
God Bless you all.
Fondly,
Bill and Larry
Joanne McClure
January 6th 2010
I worked with Raymond years ago in a restaurant, Piper's Alley, in Grosse Pointe Farms, Michigan. Raymond was a superb, superb busboy!!!! He took his work seriously and made bussing a noble profession, he was that good! I was a waitress there, and I was so happy when Raymond worked because he was so diligent with taking care of customers. He was so friendly, always with a broad smile on his face! Everyone who knew Raymond, liked and loved him, and I was one of those people. He made eveyone's job at that restaurant easier, always striving for perfection. I can still see him smiling and laughing, and it was a good 30 years ago. Raymond was a great man among men. I will never, ever forget him, he was so kind and nice, and a true friend. May the Lord bless and keep him close.
Much love, Raymond!!!!
Toni Breeden
January 6th 2010
I have visited the Kirby House three times and although I would not consider myself a close friend of Ray's, to hear of his death is a terrible shock. Having just participated in Nov '09's Cooking Class weekend and seeing how fun and "himself" Ray was, it has come as even a bigger shock! Jim and Ray were such great hosts when my husband and I visited intially that I've brought family members back. The two of you are so welcoming and relaxing that it just makes The Kirby House a "we have to go back" kind of place! Anyone who mentioned a desire to get away for a weekend would have to suffer through my insistent suggestion that they visit you guys. Jim, I cannot imagine the enormous void that you must be feeling right now and wish you all the best as you try and make it through this life-altering blow. From what I saw of him, Ray was not only an exceptional chef but also a fantastic person and we definitely will miss seeing him on our next visit to the Kirby House. I speak for my mom, Marla, sister, Kari and husband, Shawn in saying that you are in our prayers!
Terri Jacques
January 6th 2010
I was rocked by the news of Raymonds passing, My heart goes out to my cousins. All though Raymond and I had lost touch over these may years. All of the funn and great memories came flooding back in a rush every time I looked through my photos I have kept all these years, and I have shared some of these with friends. Vanguards,the parties the dinners the marching around up and down the block at the State Fair house. But my fondest memorie was the trip we took with Your Mom & Dad and my Mom To New Orleans in the mid 70's All the K.O.A. camp grounds we hit with the pop up trailer.And endless hours of riding in the back seat
of the Green Ford Galaxy. I will miss him always, Only wish I could come back there for the funeral. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Love
Terri
Jim Koeppen
January 6th 2010
To my good friend Jim, I can’t explain the emotional rollercoaster ride I’ve been on since yesterday afternoon hearing about Ray’s passing. I’m so sorry for your loss and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it’s been a few months since we have seen each other but I know when we do it will be like we just saw each other the day before. It’s always been like that and will always be. I guess that is what makes good friends. So many memories, I remember the 1st time you met Ray and you and I went for a walk by his house in Detroit, (ok, yes we were stockers) LOL…..I could tell you really liked him and I was so happy for you both. Ray told me a couple of weeks after the two of you met that he really was falling in love with you, he really loved your passion for your family, friends, music, cars and your job. Another memory is your Royal Oak house, the parties and the strange voice outside asking if you wanted biggie fries with your order…then your move to the Kirby House, the pool parties, cha-cha heels and the fantastic breakfast meals made by Ray. Most importantly I will always remember Rays smile, hearty laugh, and the way he would look at you when you were talking. The wonderful thing is that 20 years later and I could still see and feel the love he had for you, it was like the 1st time he told me he was falling in love with you. I hope you realized that buddy. Love, Jim
Phyllis Perry
January 6th 2010
About 3 years ago, I and some friends stayed at the Kirby House and Jim and Ray couldn't've been more hospitable.
I talked to Ray, at length, about Detroit, how it's changed over the years, growing up on the east side, near Grosse Pointe, attending Denby High, the Vernors Factory on Jefferson, Hudson's downtown, Belle Isle, and much more.
Ray was so friendly and congenial. I'm so sorry to hear of his passing. He will be deeply missed by Jim and all of us. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Jim, and with Ray's family and friends. I'll be back to visit. Thank you.
marianne Perjes
January 6th 2010
For my cousins Jim and I are deepley saddened for your loss. We will remember him for his sense of humor, for his patience with jackie deanne and terri in barking out his orders while practicing drum corp. And for his great wizard of oz collection. We love you and will miss you.
Marianne and Jim Perjes
Lorraine Pohl
January 6th 2010
I spent a wonderful snowy February weekend at the Kirby House at a cooking class and met Jim and Ray for the first time. They were the ultimate hosts. \
I was deeply saddened to hear of Ray's passing.
Thoughts and prayers are with Jim and family during this very difficult time.
Heidi Jean
January 6th 2010
I offer my sincerest condolences to Jim & all of Ray's loved ones. I had the opportunity to meet both Ray & Jim last winter when I surprised my partner, Bonnie, with a birthday weekend at the Kirby House. Both gentlemen were very kind & welcoming. I remember upon meeting Ray, he had a smile that could light up a room! Though my memories are few, clearly he was a truly genuine & special person who was loved by many.
Tony Estevez
January 6th 2010
Aside from that beautiful Cheshire cat smile, I have many, many wonderful memories of Ramon, but one simple, understated moment that has always stayed in my heart.
At one of the boys' many fab pool parties after Ray cooked his tail off, he went to a remote corner off the deck with no one around and sat down at the table all by himself with his plate.
As he dug into his meal, a glow of satisfaction and self-content came across his face. A look of happiness, ease and absolute enjoyment. He was at peace.
And that's how and ever more, will I always remember him - with good food, great friends and finally...at peace.
Toni and Paul Bondurant
January 6th 2010
We are shocked and terribly sad about Ray's death. I am looking at these pictures and remember an incredibly vibrant person. It's unbelievable. Our sincerest condolences to Jim and Ray's family.
What a have had so many great memories while at the Kirby House, it's difficult to pick one, so I won't. But we will always remember how gracious, welcoming and happy he was.
Dave and Julie DuVall
January 6th 2010
We will never forget Ray's great hospitality and his wonderful sense of humor and most of all that terrific smile!!! He was such a wonderful chef!!! He will be in our hearts forever...
Rick Pesta
January 6th 2010
Jim,
I never met you, and I haven't seen Raymond since he was a little boy down the block on State Fair and Boulder. Today, I read of his death in a posting on Facebook. I was directed to this website and I read the touching story of his beautiful life. Then I went to your website and read your loving web-log. I offer my sincere condolences and sympathy to you and to all of Raymond's loved ones.
-Rick Pesta
John Beliles
January 6th 2010
I have so many emotions running through me right now afterjust learning of Ray's passing. I will just say how thankful I am to have met Ray (and Jim) and the expereince of the Kirby house. I am so sad and stunned. I have spent the last ten years there, sometimes more than one visit a year. Ray had such a good spirit & soul and, with Jim, made the Kirby house a home away from home. As someone told me when my Mom passed at age 53 of a heart attack, "God picks the prettiest flowers first" That sure holds true in this case. My prayers are with you Jim and all
of Rays family and freinds! Now, I guess I need to go get some Sky and celebrate Ray's life!
Kyle R. Morehead
January 6th 2010
What a wonderful place the Kirby House has been to me trough the summers. So many laughs, memories and great times. I remember my first visit to The Kirby House, my partne David had been telling me about this place for months before he brought me there to experience it myself. We stayed in anne bolyne and i loved the view over the pool with the reflection of the tree tops into the water. The balcony was so relaxing. David introduced me to Jim and Ray that summer and i understood why he was so attached to this magical place of love and laughter. It wasnt two minutes until i started calling the place "home" when i first visited. I knew how much effort Jim and Ray had put into making everyone feel warm and welcome. One summer during on Labor Day when most guests were checking out and they had been doing thier chores around the house, i thought "how can i do something for these wonderful guys who have opened thier home to me so many times?" so, I asked my partner David if we could make them dinner. It was the end of thier busy season and all i wanted was for them to relax and be catered to the way they have for so many through the summer months. I really enjoyed making the last BBQ of that summer and having included Jim and Ray. Ray i will miss you so. You have made summer so wonderful for so many over the years. Thank you!
Barbara St.John
January 6th 2010
For those that Ray left behind you are in my thoughts and prayers. He was a wonderful person and I am sure will be missed. I used to work with Ray at Tribute and the whole room would light up when he came in he was a very gifted person.
Barbara
Juliet Michele
January 6th 2010
The two summers I spent working with Ray & Jim at the Kirby house were filled with laughter, music, coctails and time spent by the pool. I remember countless summer afternoons preparing breakfast dishes with Ray in the kitchen, watching Dolores Claiborne, IT, Carrie or any number of bad made for TV horror movies. Ray had the best evil laugh, and would always oblige my requests that he do his evil laugh during the scary scenes. I always loved that Ray would play his drum core CD in the kitchen at full volume when the house was emply. With Jim & Ray everything was more fun, they were always up for a game of big ball (although Ray was usually a bit more competitive than the rest of us).
I will always think of Ray sitting on the porch swing talking lovingly about his mom, sisters, friends, and Jim. Ray wore his heart on his sleeve, he loved to talk about how much he loved the people who shared his life.
Karlene Holleman
January 6th 2010
Dearest Jim,
I wrote a memory yesterday, but I guess it didn't get saved
so here goes another one!
I don't know how long my best friend, Margo and I have been friends with Ray and you, but it all began when I discovered the Kirby House on the internet, called Margo and said: "Don't say no!" Since that time, we have visited the Kirby House several times and became very good friends with both you and Ray. The cooking classes were
delightful, even tho' Ray often accused me of being too aggressive. Some of our best memories were the cooking classes, Mike & Julie's shower at my house & probably the apex was the "Little House Steak Fry" at the Kirby House last September. We've done our best to recommend the Kirby House to all our friends. It was also very special that Margo and I stayed that Sunday and "hung out" with you & Ray.
A week ago Monday, Margo & I went to GR for my aunt's funeral and then had the privilege of staying with Ray & Jim that evening. Little had we known that that would be the last time we would see Ray.
Jim, our thoughts & prayers are with you. You will face some very difficult days and have to make some very difficult decisions. You will need God's hand and grace to guide you.
I will talk to you shortly regarding the "Fondue Party" next weekend. We want you to come.
Give my sympathy to Ray's family and my regards to your family members.
Love,
Karlene Holleman
Margo Wories
January 6th 2010
It's hard to think of this as a memory - Ray is still very much alive to me - I hear his voice and see him constantly. I remember a phone call from Karlene many years ago that began, "Now don't say no. There is a B&B in Douglas that is having a cooking weekend and I think we should go." I thought to myself, "Another one of Karlene's cockamamie ideas!" That weekend we had to pass thu Douglas on our way to Holland and pulled into the parking lot of the Kirby House on a glorious fall day. I was smitten. When Jim answered the door and Ray was puttering in the backgrond, I was hooked. As the song says, the two of you "had me from hello". A wonderful and rich friendship was born filled with many great times together. I think my favorite is the evening Jim, Ray, Karlene and I ordered a pizza and hung out, watching a movie (can't remember the name) and laughing our @$$es off!
Jim, I haven't called this week because you have so much going on right now. My phone calls will come next week when lonliness fills the Kirby House. In the meantime, please know that you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers for God's grace and strength to carry you thru this terrible time.
Love you. Mean it. Margo
Jane Walsh
January 6th 2010
Dear Jim,
I am shocked and sad to hear of Ray's recent illness and passing.
I have such wonderful memories of you & Ray as my first "next-door neigbors" on Amity. I remember your excitement when you both decided to "take the plunge" and quit your jobs to start the Kirby. Ray was so passionate and such a shining light. I can't imagine how deep of a loss this is for you.
When I look at his picture and think of my memories of knowing him I am sure his light will shine brightly on you and warm you in the days and years ahead.
You, Ray and his family and friends are in my prayers and thoughts.
Love,
Jane
Jackie Jacques Shapiro
January 6th 2010
To all my cousins I just want to say how deeply sadden and very sorry for your loss of a great brother, and at my loss of a great cousin. though we didnot see each other for several years but when we did it was like old times and our sharing our drum corp years stories and laughing at just how much we all still could remember of all our many trips and all the drum corp house drama. i loved you very much and will miss you raymond my funny and dear sweet cousin
David E. Laski
January 6th 2010
Where can I begin? It started about 13 summers ago when Ray and Jim first bought the Kirby House. I've honestly lost count the number of times I've stayed with them. Summer is not Summer without a visit to Saugatuck/Douglas and the Kirby House. The Kirby House is a grand old home, but Ray and Jim were the heart and soul that brought it to life. This past September I visited with my parents. It was their first time and the last time I would see Ray before he became ill . We sat on the back deck with Ray and just talked. It was a beautiful warm sunny fall day. This afternoon will remain my fondest memory of Ray. Jim later joined us on the front porch and again we talked and reminisced over cocktails. Ray and I discovered we both went to the same high school! Jim went inside and brought out "our" year book. Small world! Further conversation revealed we lived only two blocks away from each other in the old neighborhood. My parents fell in love with both of them and understood why Kirby House was so special to me and my friends. One night I came in after 8am from an all night party in Douglas and Ray just put a finger over his mouth in a ssssh! , smiled and continued to make breakfast. Any breakfast request of mine was ALWAYS on the breakfast buffet. One time I forgot to send him my requests and HE was disappointed!!! He always made EVERYONE feel welcome and special in their home. The friends I brought there have returned year after year. The third week of July has become a tradition (well almost a cult!) This weekend at Kirby revolves around the Dunes Christmas in July "Tea Dance". I have so many fond memories of Ray to list them all. Anyone who has met him will know what I mean. I learned of Rays illness in an Email from Jim. I followed the blog religiously. I spoke with Ray on the phone while he was in the hospital. My work schedule at Christmas did not allow a personal visit. I planned a visit after new years. I called and asked if Ray was up to company. Jimmy said he was. This past Sunday I drove up. I brought Ray a bright yellow flower arrangement to cheer him. In the arrangement I had stuck mini airline size Sky vodkas as if they too were flowers. Again anyone who knew Ray would know why! When I arrived Ray wasn't feeling his best and told Jim he would see me tomorrow. I asked Jim if he would like to join us for dinner and if Ray would mind. I wanted to treat Jim to a little get away for about an hour from the stress he's been under lately. Ray said for Jim to go and enjoy himself. While we were at dinner fate intervened in a strange and life altering way. Ray was gone. Words can not describe what I feel. I can only hope Ray knows how important he was and loved by myself and anyone whos life he touched. Rest in peace my dear Ray-Ray. I love you, miss you and will NEVER forget you! Dave
