Elizabeth "Betty" Bernott
Aug 11th 1919 - Nov 18th 2009
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Debby Napier
January 19th 2010
My life has been blessed by overlapping with Betty's life during three time frames for us. As Tom shared, my Mom, Terri and I would have an adventure day and take the bus to downtown Grand Rapids from time to time. Being good little Baptist girls we loved the religious store with so many shiny thing we didn't understand and the sweet woman that always visited with us. We never left empty handed though we had no cash to buy things. Betty always gave us a prayer card, a loving smile and a wave to take home with us. Fifteen years later I was dating a young man that was Catholic and we again frequented the Bernott Religious Store for rosaries, booklets and gifts for his family. And again, I never left without Betty giving me something to remind me of our shared Christian faith. And the third time our paths united was for a liftime when Tom and Terii married.
After my daughter Katie was born my first visitors were Betty and Vince. Unusually for the 1980's, Baby Katie was in the room and the nurse immediatlely handed her to her new Grandmother. Betty and I winked at each other and Vince looked on and smiled just as if she were their first grandchild. Later that year Betty gave me the best advise ever to get that baby to close her eyes and sleep! Thank you Betty!
My most valuable memory of Betty and Vince is that in a life of uncertainty and inconsistency I rarely recall a family event where they were not there. That is a rare trait and one that I hugely value and admire - they were there. Maybe we could all try a little harder to be there with our families just like the Bernotts'. Betty I love you and will miss you but promise to remember what you told me and more importantly what you showed me.
Tom Bernott
December 11th 2009
Memories to follow...
On behalf of the Bernott family with emphasis on Vince and Betty, we thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, and concern in the last few weeks of Mom's life.
Luckily we have our thoughts and memories that we can fall back on whenever we want. My favorite is that Mom never wanted to say "good bye". This is evidenced by her strong will to stay with us beyond all that medical science told the staff at hospice. She defied nurses and doctors who said she would pass relatively quickly, but no she did not. She stayed with us many days beyond expectations. Instead of saying "good bye" she rather said "bye for now". This was her way of knowing we don't have to say good bye and that we can live our lives knowing we will never grow too far apart.
Broken Table...
I have a few short stories and then I will close with Mom's now famous "bye for now". First, the broken leg story. Brother Bob and I had to be in our mid teens and thought it would be a good idea to arm wrestle on the coffee table in the living room. We did and as our effort increased, so did the stress on the table. We struggled so hard the table leg broke before a winner was determined. Thinking fast, we straightened the table leg as best we could making sure it looked unbroken. Then when Mom came home we fessed up that we broke the table. She looked at it closely and said it doesn't look broke to me, so now clean your room before dinner. About two weeks later when Mom was cleaning the house, she hit the table leg with the vacuum and the leg promptly broke again in the same spot Upon coming home she called us both into the room and said... YOU REALLY DID BREAK THE TABLE. We said yes and she said well I guess you were honest and I can't yell at you now. Honesty does pay.
Shopping at Bernott's Religious Supply & Jewelry...
My mother-in-law has told me many times that she remembers Mom before she knew me. She would take her daughters, Terri (my now wife) and Deb, to the store to look at all the beautiful items. Mom would try to help them and always told them to look all they wanted and if they needed help to just ask. Irene Stehouwer tells me this story every so often and adds how marvelous Mom treated her and the girls. She made them feel welcome. That's the kind of Mom everyone wants.
14th hole shot....
Mom and Dad were playing golf in a husband and wife event that was an alternate shot outing. It so happens that Dad inadvertently put Mom in the left hand trap of the 14th hole at the Elks County Club. This is a mean trap with a high mound and 25 feet of grass before you even get to the green. Mom was mad at the prospect of hitting out of the trap but went in to hit the shot as necessary. Then a small miracle happened. Mom exploded out of the trap and the ball sailed up and onto to green and then gently rolled into the cup. Wow. Both Mom and Dad were shocked and laughed as they went to the next tee. They talked about this shot at many family gatherings and for good reason.
Well enough stories, all I have left from me and everyone else is...... "bye for now".
Maureen McKenzie
November 22nd 2009
Aunt Betty was such a wonderful lady! We had the joy of having her and Uncle Vince in Tucson for many years and being able to share holidays and visits to town. It was so nice having family close by since we moved across the country.
Growing up in Grand Rapids, I remember visiting the Bernott household on Lake Michigan Dr. These always held pleasant memories as Aunt Betty was always so joyful. Her hugs and smiles, hot drinks on a cold night, and yummy snacks always gave us that love of family.
I’ll never forget the visits in Tucson even after my Mom and Dad passed away where we got together and caught up on everyone in each others families – going over every detail of each of my kids, showing pictures, and catching up on her family and grandkids. Those were wonderful memories! Aunt Betty you will be missed.
Lois Telzerow
November 21st 2009
Betty was a wonderful woman who had a great time no matter where she was and I really enjoyed playing golf with her on Ladies Day. She was loved by all.
Joan Bernott Maginnis
November 21st 2009
Because I didn't live in Grand Rapids during my growing years, I didn't see Aunt Betty often. When I did see her on or near a holiday, it was always a Food Event and katski's were usually nearby. Very strange coincidence....
I grew up associating her with these fabulous little Lithuanian dumplings. Made in many different ways,with a similarly wide range of tastiness, Aunt Betty's were in a class by themselves! Impossibly delicate, tiny, hand-made noodle-y puffs of goodness, filled with a mysterious and delicious ground meat mixture, and simmering in a sea of bubbling cream, with sour cream on the side. Oh the memories!
Just one problem: I couldn't eat but one. Or two. Or...well, actually, once I started I couldn'st stop eating them. There was always the danger of getting caught eating the last one--a danger I necessarily braved because if I didn't eat them quickly I knew they'd almost instantly vanish. (I wasn't the only Bernott with this weakness!)
I don't remember Aunt Betty ever looking askance at me while I served myself (hiding extra klatski's under my napkin or obscuring them with salad greens). She always seemed to be tickled by how much I loved them. And, when I was grown and married, she even gave me her recipe!
My big chance for reciprocity came when Aunt Betty and Uncle Vince visited Jack, me and the twins in Washington DC. It was a work day, so I didn't have time to prepare a fancy dinner. But, thankfully, I had a portion of my Mom's excellent spaghetti sauce in the freezer. All I had to do was reheat it in our brand new microwave! Too bad I didn't know how to work the thing properly, and ended up serving hot spaghetti topped with chilled spaghetti sauce. I was mortified!!! Aunt Betty and Uncle Vince just laughed and said it tasted great.
How much love is that?
Joan Mary
Denny and Lori Bronkema
November 20th 2009
She always had a smile each time I saw her. Now her smile will continue to glow in the arms of her Lord.
Nick Sarelakos
November 20th 2009
Well I just wanted to say that I am very thankful for having the opportunity to spend time with Aunt Betty over the last couple of years. It had been quite a while since I first met her in 1989. It became obvious that she was so proud of her children and loved her family very much. Every time she would tell me a story, it would involve at least one of the boys or Eileen. I will always remember her sense of humor; she was always able to put a smile on my face while she shared her thoughts and memories with me. She will be missed, but I will always have these memories of her, which I am very thankful for.
Love you Aunt Betty
Nick
November 20th 2009
Just wanted everyone to know that Aunt Betty will be truly missed. Although, because of where we lived, we didn't get a chance to see each other often, she quickly became my favorite Aunt. That infectious smile is how I will always remember her. I am so grateful that we had a chance to get together again shortly before she passed. The way her face lit up when we met after all these years warmed my heart and will be etched in my mind forever.
Love ya Aunt Betty!!!
Your nephew Paul
November 20th 2009
I did not have the pleasure of knowing your Grandmother, Liz, nor did I know my Grandparents as they passed away when I was just a baby, but what wonderful memories you must have after reading her Life Story. My family, as well, is of Lithuanian decent and were, of course, members of St. Pete's, (well known for having many Lithuanian members) so I am sure that there are many mutual acquaintences.
May fond memories of your Grandmother be shared with each other and help comfort you during this difficult time.
I am sorry that I am not able to attend the visitation or the service of the celebration of her life.
With Sympathy,
Linda
Susie Cockrell
November 20th 2009
I would see Betty and Vince from time to time over the years when my family would visit our Michigan family. Tom's wife, Terri, is my first cousin. Betty and Vince would be at their home or a funeral or a wedding we may have attended. She was always such a gracious lady. I know she is rejoicing in heaven today and we should all find great comfort in that. We love you, Tom and Terri and send our prayers to all the family of Betty.
Susie and Danny Cockrell
Rosanne Fitzgerald
November 19th 2009
I remember Aunt Betty as a busy, happy, smiling woman. When I was a child, she made sure to include me when I was visiting Grand Rapids and her family was on the way to the beach or to a church festival. For us cousins, all our aunts in the big loving Bernott family were substitue moms - always there to help us, feed us, discipline us and love us. As an adult, I remember her conversational gifts. She was always fun to talk to and she never let the conversation lag as she was full of fun stories and interesting observations. She will always be a part of my best memories.
Eileen Jacobs
November 19th 2009
I've never been a poet. I did want to list a few of the many special things I remembered about you, mom when I was growing up:
- Baby steps under the cherry blossoms
- Harry Truman was the president -- never mind that I didn't know what a president was
- Balony curls
- Following your dad while I sat in a wagon
- Wearing babushkas
- picking lilies of the valley
- Ballet dancing at Gerry Tauter's studio
- Piano lessons with Uncle John
- Practicing at home on a paper keyboard in my bedroom
- The multitudinous things you did for Grandma Bernott and her family
- The lovely aprons and hankies you received as gifts for hostessing the ladies' club, some of which I can still describe
- Moving to a new home and starting eight grade in a new school
- School uniforms, thus saving you the time I spent trying to decide what to wear
- A lacy white dress complete with pink heels and long pink gloves for my first prom
- Too many other things to mention
If I didn't thank you before, I didn't want to forget now
- THANK YOU FOR BEING MY MOM! THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT MEMORABLE.
- YOUR DAUGHTER, EILEEN
- XXOOXXOO
Carl Bernott
November 19th 2009
FIVE TAPS
Funny the things you learn about and from your parents.
This past week was no exception. Dad continued to show his relentless care and love for his wife of 64 years.
This circumstance brought all four siblings together, for the best reason, to show our love for mom and dad, to be together and support each other.
We shared many special moments and experiences of vacations and other times together. talked about the times each of us helped out working in the store with mom and dad, side by side. This is how they led their marriage, side by side. By this example, they showed us how to lead our marriages the same way, side by side.
We remembered a home movie of Bob sitting in a kiddie pool with Tom strategically placed in a crib next to the pool. Tom would try to reach his hand into the pool, but could not reach the water. Eileen then explained mom's logic in this decision, to keep Bob from drowning Tom while both were in the pool.
We remembered Eileen playing the piano and all of us singing Christmas carols together.
We remember sour balls in the car to keep us quiet on family road trips, usually to a church picnic to set up and sell his church goods. Carl remembers always having to sit in the back seat of the car in the middle seat. Bob and Tom would always bounce me back and forth with their shoulders, causing me to seemingly act as a ping pong ball.
One thing mom did while in the hospital. She and I where waiting for a heart doctor. The nurse thought he would be in about a half hour. Two hours passed and still no heart doctor. Mom looked and winked at me. She said the doctor would be in 15 minutes. I asked, “How do you know that”? She said, just watch. She then hit the call button, told the nurse she felt as if her heart was in pain, and the heart doctor appeared minutes later. To no surprise, no heart pain or problems were found, but we got to the heart doctor.
This week dad shared many memorable stories with us. Here are two of them. First was the story of when dad first saw mom in D.C. He was engaged to another gal. But after one look at mom, it was love at first site. The rest is history. The second is when dad was lying next to mom in the hospice bed; He tapped her wrist three times. He then picked up moms wrist and tapped his wrist two times. He told me the first three taps meant I love you, the second responsive taps meant me too. Mom started this special private symbol of their love on their honeymoon at Niagara Falls. We never stop; learning life lessons from our parents, past or present. Maybe you can consider starting this tradition with your spouse or children and hold it as a memory of Mom.
One of dad’s last sentences to mom was “I love you and want you dear, even though I know I can't have you anymore". REST WELL NOW MOM, WE LOVE YOU.
Debby Napier
January 19th 2010
My life has been blessed by overlapping with Betty's life during three time frames for us. As Tom shared, my Mom, Terri and I would have an adventure day and take the bus to downtown Grand Rapids from time to time. Being good little Baptist girls we loved the religious store with so many shiny thing we didn't understand and the sweet woman that always visited with us. We never left empty handed though we had no cash to buy things. Betty always gave us a prayer card, a loving smile and a wave to take home with us. Fifteen years later I was dating a young man that was Catholic and we again frequented the Bernott Religious Store for rosaries, booklets and gifts for his family. And again, I never left without Betty giving me something to remind me of our shared Christian faith. And the third time our paths united was for a liftime when Tom and Terii married.
After my daughter Katie was born my first visitors were Betty and Vince. Unusually for the 1980's, Baby Katie was in the room and the nurse immediatlely handed her to her new Grandmother. Betty and I winked at each other and Vince looked on and smiled just as if she were their first grandchild. Later that year Betty gave me the best advise ever to get that baby to close her eyes and sleep! Thank you Betty!
My most valuable memory of Betty and Vince is that in a life of uncertainty and inconsistency I rarely recall a family event where they were not there. That is a rare trait and one that I hugely value and admire - they were there. Maybe we could all try a little harder to be there with our families just like the Bernotts'. Betty I love you and will miss you but promise to remember what you told me and more importantly what you showed me.
Tom Bernott
December 11th 2009
Memories to follow...
On behalf of the Bernott family with emphasis on Vince and Betty, we thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, and concern in the last few weeks of Mom's life.
Luckily we have our thoughts and memories that we can fall back on whenever we want. My favorite is that Mom never wanted to say "good bye". This is evidenced by her strong will to stay with us beyond all that medical science told the staff at hospice. She defied nurses and doctors who said she would pass relatively quickly, but no she did not. She stayed with us many days beyond expectations. Instead of saying "good bye" she rather said "bye for now". This was her way of knowing we don't have to say good bye and that we can live our lives knowing we will never grow too far apart.
Broken Table...
I have a few short stories and then I will close with Mom's now famous "bye for now". First, the broken leg story. Brother Bob and I had to be in our mid teens and thought it would be a good idea to arm wrestle on the coffee table in the living room. We did and as our effort increased, so did the stress on the table. We struggled so hard the table leg broke before a winner was determined. Thinking fast, we straightened the table leg as best we could making sure it looked unbroken. Then when Mom came home we fessed up that we broke the table. She looked at it closely and said it doesn't look broke to me, so now clean your room before dinner. About two weeks later when Mom was cleaning the house, she hit the table leg with the vacuum and the leg promptly broke again in the same spot Upon coming home she called us both into the room and said... YOU REALLY DID BREAK THE TABLE. We said yes and she said well I guess you were honest and I can't yell at you now. Honesty does pay.
Shopping at Bernott's Religious Supply & Jewelry...
My mother-in-law has told me many times that she remembers Mom before she knew me. She would take her daughters, Terri (my now wife) and Deb, to the store to look at all the beautiful items. Mom would try to help them and always told them to look all they wanted and if they needed help to just ask. Irene Stehouwer tells me this story every so often and adds how marvelous Mom treated her and the girls. She made them feel welcome. That's the kind of Mom everyone wants.
14th hole shot....
Mom and Dad were playing golf in a husband and wife event that was an alternate shot outing. It so happens that Dad inadvertently put Mom in the left hand trap of the 14th hole at the Elks County Club. This is a mean trap with a high mound and 25 feet of grass before you even get to the green. Mom was mad at the prospect of hitting out of the trap but went in to hit the shot as necessary. Then a small miracle happened. Mom exploded out of the trap and the ball sailed up and onto to green and then gently rolled into the cup. Wow. Both Mom and Dad were shocked and laughed as they went to the next tee. They talked about this shot at many family gatherings and for good reason.
Well enough stories, all I have left from me and everyone else is...... "bye for now".
Maureen McKenzie
November 22nd 2009
Aunt Betty was such a wonderful lady! We had the joy of having her and Uncle Vince in Tucson for many years and being able to share holidays and visits to town. It was so nice having family close by since we moved across the country.
Growing up in Grand Rapids, I remember visiting the Bernott household on Lake Michigan Dr. These always held pleasant memories as Aunt Betty was always so joyful. Her hugs and smiles, hot drinks on a cold night, and yummy snacks always gave us that love of family.
I’ll never forget the visits in Tucson even after my Mom and Dad passed away where we got together and caught up on everyone in each others families – going over every detail of each of my kids, showing pictures, and catching up on her family and grandkids. Those were wonderful memories! Aunt Betty you will be missed.
Lois Telzerow
November 21st 2009
Betty was a wonderful woman who had a great time no matter where she was and I really enjoyed playing golf with her on Ladies Day. She was loved by all.
Joan Bernott Maginnis
November 21st 2009
Because I didn't live in Grand Rapids during my growing years, I didn't see Aunt Betty often. When I did see her on or near a holiday, it was always a Food Event and katski's were usually nearby. Very strange coincidence....
I grew up associating her with these fabulous little Lithuanian dumplings. Made in many different ways,with a similarly wide range of tastiness, Aunt Betty's were in a class by themselves! Impossibly delicate, tiny, hand-made noodle-y puffs of goodness, filled with a mysterious and delicious ground meat mixture, and simmering in a sea of bubbling cream, with sour cream on the side. Oh the memories!
Just one problem: I couldn't eat but one. Or two. Or...well, actually, once I started I couldn'st stop eating them. There was always the danger of getting caught eating the last one--a danger I necessarily braved because if I didn't eat them quickly I knew they'd almost instantly vanish. (I wasn't the only Bernott with this weakness!)
I don't remember Aunt Betty ever looking askance at me while I served myself (hiding extra klatski's under my napkin or obscuring them with salad greens). She always seemed to be tickled by how much I loved them. And, when I was grown and married, she even gave me her recipe!
My big chance for reciprocity came when Aunt Betty and Uncle Vince visited Jack, me and the twins in Washington DC. It was a work day, so I didn't have time to prepare a fancy dinner. But, thankfully, I had a portion of my Mom's excellent spaghetti sauce in the freezer. All I had to do was reheat it in our brand new microwave! Too bad I didn't know how to work the thing properly, and ended up serving hot spaghetti topped with chilled spaghetti sauce. I was mortified!!! Aunt Betty and Uncle Vince just laughed and said it tasted great.
How much love is that?
Joan Mary
Denny and Lori Bronkema
November 20th 2009
She always had a smile each time I saw her. Now her smile will continue to glow in the arms of her Lord.
Nick Sarelakos
November 20th 2009
Well I just wanted to say that I am very thankful for having the opportunity to spend time with Aunt Betty over the last couple of years. It had been quite a while since I first met her in 1989. It became obvious that she was so proud of her children and loved her family very much. Every time she would tell me a story, it would involve at least one of the boys or Eileen. I will always remember her sense of humor; she was always able to put a smile on my face while she shared her thoughts and memories with me. She will be missed, but I will always have these memories of her, which I am very thankful for.
Love you Aunt Betty
Nick
November 20th 2009
Just wanted everyone to know that Aunt Betty will be truly missed. Although, because of where we lived, we didn't get a chance to see each other often, she quickly became my favorite Aunt. That infectious smile is how I will always remember her. I am so grateful that we had a chance to get together again shortly before she passed. The way her face lit up when we met after all these years warmed my heart and will be etched in my mind forever.
Love ya Aunt Betty!!!
Your nephew Paul
November 20th 2009
I did not have the pleasure of knowing your Grandmother, Liz, nor did I know my Grandparents as they passed away when I was just a baby, but what wonderful memories you must have after reading her Life Story. My family, as well, is of Lithuanian decent and were, of course, members of St. Pete's, (well known for having many Lithuanian members) so I am sure that there are many mutual acquaintences.
May fond memories of your Grandmother be shared with each other and help comfort you during this difficult time.
I am sorry that I am not able to attend the visitation or the service of the celebration of her life.
With Sympathy,
Linda
Susie Cockrell
November 20th 2009
I would see Betty and Vince from time to time over the years when my family would visit our Michigan family. Tom's wife, Terri, is my first cousin. Betty and Vince would be at their home or a funeral or a wedding we may have attended. She was always such a gracious lady. I know she is rejoicing in heaven today and we should all find great comfort in that. We love you, Tom and Terri and send our prayers to all the family of Betty.
Susie and Danny Cockrell
Rosanne Fitzgerald
November 19th 2009
I remember Aunt Betty as a busy, happy, smiling woman. When I was a child, she made sure to include me when I was visiting Grand Rapids and her family was on the way to the beach or to a church festival. For us cousins, all our aunts in the big loving Bernott family were substitue moms - always there to help us, feed us, discipline us and love us. As an adult, I remember her conversational gifts. She was always fun to talk to and she never let the conversation lag as she was full of fun stories and interesting observations. She will always be a part of my best memories.
Eileen Jacobs
November 19th 2009
I've never been a poet. I did want to list a few of the many special things I remembered about you, mom when I was growing up:
- Baby steps under the cherry blossoms
- Harry Truman was the president -- never mind that I didn't know what a president was
- Balony curls
- Following your dad while I sat in a wagon
- Wearing babushkas
- picking lilies of the valley
- Ballet dancing at Gerry Tauter's studio
- Piano lessons with Uncle John
- Practicing at home on a paper keyboard in my bedroom
- The multitudinous things you did for Grandma Bernott and her family
- The lovely aprons and hankies you received as gifts for hostessing the ladies' club, some of which I can still describe
- Moving to a new home and starting eight grade in a new school
- School uniforms, thus saving you the time I spent trying to decide what to wear
- A lacy white dress complete with pink heels and long pink gloves for my first prom
- Too many other things to mention
If I didn't thank you before, I didn't want to forget now
- THANK YOU FOR BEING MY MOM! THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT MEMORABLE.
- YOUR DAUGHTER, EILEEN
- XXOOXXOO
Carl Bernott
November 19th 2009
FIVE TAPS
Funny the things you learn about and from your parents.
This past week was no exception. Dad continued to show his relentless care and love for his wife of 64 years.
This circumstance brought all four siblings together, for the best reason, to show our love for mom and dad, to be together and support each other.
We shared many special moments and experiences of vacations and other times together. talked about the times each of us helped out working in the store with mom and dad, side by side. This is how they led their marriage, side by side. By this example, they showed us how to lead our marriages the same way, side by side.
We remembered a home movie of Bob sitting in a kiddie pool with Tom strategically placed in a crib next to the pool. Tom would try to reach his hand into the pool, but could not reach the water. Eileen then explained mom's logic in this decision, to keep Bob from drowning Tom while both were in the pool.
We remembered Eileen playing the piano and all of us singing Christmas carols together.
We remember sour balls in the car to keep us quiet on family road trips, usually to a church picnic to set up and sell his church goods. Carl remembers always having to sit in the back seat of the car in the middle seat. Bob and Tom would always bounce me back and forth with their shoulders, causing me to seemingly act as a ping pong ball.
One thing mom did while in the hospital. She and I where waiting for a heart doctor. The nurse thought he would be in about a half hour. Two hours passed and still no heart doctor. Mom looked and winked at me. She said the doctor would be in 15 minutes. I asked, “How do you know that”? She said, just watch. She then hit the call button, told the nurse she felt as if her heart was in pain, and the heart doctor appeared minutes later. To no surprise, no heart pain or problems were found, but we got to the heart doctor.
This week dad shared many memorable stories with us. Here are two of them. First was the story of when dad first saw mom in D.C. He was engaged to another gal. But after one look at mom, it was love at first site. The rest is history. The second is when dad was lying next to mom in the hospice bed; He tapped her wrist three times. He then picked up moms wrist and tapped his wrist two times. He told me the first three taps meant I love you, the second responsive taps meant me too. Mom started this special private symbol of their love on their honeymoon at Niagara Falls. We never stop; learning life lessons from our parents, past or present. Maybe you can consider starting this tradition with your spouse or children and hold it as a memory of Mom.
One of dad’s last sentences to mom was “I love you and want you dear, even though I know I can't have you anymore". REST WELL NOW MOM, WE LOVE YOU.
