Carson Ryder

Carson Joseph Ryder, who would become best known as Joe, was a family man of the first order. From his early years as the young man of the house to his later years as caregiver, Joe showed his devotion to family. They always came first, whether in a time of need or when having the time of their lives. He was at his best when surrounded by his beloved parents, siblings, wife, children and grandchildren. Stoic and heroic, caring and generous, non-judgemental and compassionate, Joe was loved with the same intensity that he showed others.

Joe was born in the rural town of Grant, Michigan, the son of a baker and a nurse. Growing up in the lakeside community of Grand Haven, he was the oldest of nine children that included Gloria, Joyce, Bonnie, James, Sally, Mary, Pat and Michael.

As a boy, Joe developed the art of practical jokes that never left him. He was known to toss a plastic snake at people who spook at snakes or put a plastic rat in a grain bin to scare the person who lifted the lid. He surprised his brothers by putting his hand over the light switch in a dark room just prior to them entering, and his children received the same treatment. All in good fun, Joe liked to get a rise out of people.

Though he only finished the 8th grade, Joe was well schooled in life. When his father left the family during Joe’s military duty with the United Stated Navy from September 1950 – March 1951, Joe received a discharge to become head of the household. As the eldest child, there was no question that he return at the request of his mother. Family always came first in Joe’s life.

Besides love of family, Joe had a passion for horses and hunting which he shared with his sisters and brothers, respectively, and eventually passed on to his daughters and sons. He owned several horses over his lifetime, notably a stallion named Showdown. He also was fond of his dog Amber a Pomeranian and after her passing he added Louie to his family.

Joe began thinking of a family of his own when he met Patricia Szymas. His sister Mary was dating Patricia’s brother Jim Szymas, Sr. when the two were introduced to each other. Not only did Jim and Mary become husband and wife, but Joe and Patricia eventually fell in love and were married. Many years of happiness followed their commitment that included Joe’s joy in surprising his wife. Harkening back to his practical joke experience, Joe came to Pat one day with his arm wrapped in a towel, acting as if he was hurt. But when she unwrapped the towel, Pat discovered a little black poodle they named Tony.

The Ryders made their home in Robinson Township and welcomed six children into their lives: Mark born in 1962, Susan in 1963, Joel in 1966, Jeff in 1968, Teresa in 1970 and Tracie in 1974. As a father, Joe was firm but gentle and attentive to his children. He loved to gather them around and share the events of their lives, often over a pizza that was quick and easy and left plenty of time for Joe to “get the scoop.” Even though he worked second shift his entire career, Joe found time to be with his family and dedicated the weekends to them exclusively. In retirement, he had more time to invest in their lives, and he made himself available to whomever needed it. Especially during the summer, he eagerly entertained family with cookouts and made “breakfast at the beach” a tradition that included his extended family. Joe’s siblings and their spouses were not only family, they became some of his best friends.

Each of Joe’s children relished time spent with their father that included sitting on the bench in front of the garage, drinking coffee, watching the wildlife and discussing life events (Mark); going to Disneyland and seeing Joe’s excitement that resembled that of a little boy (Sue); getting called every Saturday night to make sure Sunday breakfast was on for the next morning (Jody); deer hunting with uncles in Northern Michigan and listening to all the funny stories they told (Jeff); going to horse shows (Teresa); heading off to the greenhouse on opening week and getting their “fix” of plants and then talking about the new plants over lunch (Tracie). Simply put, Joe was an avid gardener and a shop-aholic when it came to greenhouse merchandise.

When he retired in March of 1992, Joe had even more time to spend at greenhouses and gardening. Besides cultivating a flower garden that he could be proud of, Joe liked strolling greenhouses and just looking at all the plants. He also had more time to devote to his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Because Jeff and Debbie had asked him to be their son’s daycare provider, Joe established a close bond with 4-year old Tony. Grandfather and grandson went everywhere together—bowling, shopping, even sledding down the hill at Riverside Park, which Joe never risked with his own children. Later in life, Tony took to calling his grandpa to pick him up so they could go shopping at Old Navy, which was the name Joe had given the Goodwill store. Truly, Joe and Tony were an awesome duo.

Joe was a caregiver by nature. He was there for his brother when Pat was diagnosed with cancer and by his side up until he died. He cared for his mother as well, driving her to all her medical appointments and doing whatever he could without ever complaining. That was just the kind of man he was and the husband, father, grandfather, brother and uncle who will be missed by all who love him.